As you may or may not know, my family has recently suffered yet another loss. As his very wise 10 year old grandson Lakota put it: He was a good man. We will miss him greatly. Everyone who had the pleasure of meeting Steve Newby learned something. Steve was my step father, but more importantly, he was my mother's loving husband. I remember shortly after I met him, he and I were in a car together alone for some reason. I was cooking up a speech about how he better not hurt my mother. Then, he beat me to it! HE tole ME I better be nice to my mother because she meant the world to him! Totally stole my thunder... and my heart.
He had a talent like no other of teaching you (and by "you" I do mean YOU, because he inevitably did it with anyone and everyone) a lesson about life, about yourself, about society, the valiant cause of honest and hard work among other things. His talent lied in the fact that he could do this without the actual ACT of teaching. It just came naturally to him to present the world in a way that made you see through your person to the reality that is the world. He lived his life in many different ways, the way I knew him proved that you can lead your mind with your heart without being foolish or selfish. He truly was a man who saw "the big picture" and did almost no act without considering the summation of its many consequences. I learned a great deal from him. Our relationship was cantankerous at times, but I always felt a mutual respect and love regardless of the situation or argument. Through this, I learned the true value of being respectful and mindful while still following your heart.
At his funeral I, along with many others, cried. I am an emotional creature, I may have cried more than others. I don't know. But I know I couldn't stop it. Damned crying! And then in the midst of my crying I had an almost vision. I had a vision of Steve up there at the podium of his own funeral. If there ever was a man who could take the podium at his own funeral: it would have been Steve Newby. Anyway, I saw him up there, leaning on the podium like it was a lunch counter. He looked around the room, at me, then addressing the room, he said "Why are ya cryin?" Pausing for effect and laughter, he continued "No, really: WHY ARE YA CRYIN? I lived a much longer life than I ever deserved, I was blessed with wonderful and beautiful people for children and after a long tumultuous dance with pain and anger within myself, I found a love that most people never get to experience. You people are wasting your time here doing all this mopin and cryin." And he turned away shaking his head and waving us off with a minor annoyance that only he could get away with and disappeared.
Well, we are selfish, that's why we were crying. We know what we've lost. And in the shadow of that, the grief is too large to just be grateful for having gotten to have him in our lives. He always sent you on your way with a "Glad you got to see me!" And good grief, wasn't he right? Aren't we all glad we got to see him.
RIP, Steve Newby.
Nah, on second thought raise as much stink as you can. You are loved and you will be sorely missed, but we will try to just be happy for the time we got to have with you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Day 139: I have a secret.
I have a secret. Not the kind of secret you keep on purpose. The kind of secret you keep because it never comes up in conversation. Never.
I have the urge to take pictures of dead things. Also, to put FOR SALE signs on things and take pictures of them.
There's something symbolic about both of those things and I wish I could blame the urge on that. Unless I have a primal urge to relay subconscious symbolism that I don't know about - I can't claim it a purposeful genius.
I did try once for about a year to follow through with these urges. This was about 7 years ago... I don't know why I stopped. I got such a surge of satisfaction, like I was committing major societal breakthrough or something: the satisfaction level was so strong.
Maybe I should take this up once more, start carrying my camera around with me.
I especially love the idea of (and actually) taking pictures of roadkill. Yes, I know it's weird. No, I'm not scared to admit it. It's part of who I am. No need to be ashamed. It's not something I sought out to be enthralled with: it just comes to me. Every time I see roadkill, I mentally picture it as a photo. I picture the appropriate angle and everything. The urge is that strong!
And yes, I know it's a little wrong to take pictures of dead things without their permission (maybe I should ask them permission?), but there's a little thrill that comes from that aspect.
Well, I think that is just about enough sharing of myself for one day!
I have the urge to take pictures of dead things. Also, to put FOR SALE signs on things and take pictures of them.
There's something symbolic about both of those things and I wish I could blame the urge on that. Unless I have a primal urge to relay subconscious symbolism that I don't know about - I can't claim it a purposeful genius.
I did try once for about a year to follow through with these urges. This was about 7 years ago... I don't know why I stopped. I got such a surge of satisfaction, like I was committing major societal breakthrough or something: the satisfaction level was so strong.
Maybe I should take this up once more, start carrying my camera around with me.
I especially love the idea of (and actually) taking pictures of roadkill. Yes, I know it's weird. No, I'm not scared to admit it. It's part of who I am. No need to be ashamed. It's not something I sought out to be enthralled with: it just comes to me. Every time I see roadkill, I mentally picture it as a photo. I picture the appropriate angle and everything. The urge is that strong!
And yes, I know it's a little wrong to take pictures of dead things without their permission (maybe I should ask them permission?), but there's a little thrill that comes from that aspect.
Well, I think that is just about enough sharing of myself for one day!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Day 135: It's been a while!
Okay, so there's been so much going on!
Our family was facing a minor financial crisis.
I am getting some serious stomping on at work.
We (okay, more like I am) are working on some SERIOUS home makeover stuff.
Plus, I feel like the general cleaning has gotten way out of hand - it's taking up WAY too much time.
Then there's all the normal fracking issues.
Also, a lot of social commentary has been going on.
Not to mention the Occupy Wall Street movement which has spawned an Occupy Together in solidarity movement and you KNOW I can't keep my nose out of THAT!
Anywhat, amidst all of that I am still honing my cooking skills. Researching good old fashioned recipies that call for real, natural ingredients takes time and energy. Oh, and they are soooooooo worth it! I like to pass on any tips I get or things I find and I just found a doozie!
Say GOOD MORNING to homemade breakfast sausage!
A video tutorial!
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24hA3dD8SjM&feature=player_embedded&noredirect=1#!
My love,
Misty
Our family was facing a minor financial crisis.
I am getting some serious stomping on at work.
We (okay, more like I am) are working on some SERIOUS home makeover stuff.
Plus, I feel like the general cleaning has gotten way out of hand - it's taking up WAY too much time.
Then there's all the normal fracking issues.
Also, a lot of social commentary has been going on.
Not to mention the Occupy Wall Street movement which has spawned an Occupy Together in solidarity movement and you KNOW I can't keep my nose out of THAT!
Anywhat, amidst all of that I am still honing my cooking skills. Researching good old fashioned recipies that call for real, natural ingredients takes time and energy. Oh, and they are soooooooo worth it! I like to pass on any tips I get or things I find and I just found a doozie!
Say GOOD MORNING to homemade breakfast sausage!
A video tutorial!
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24hA3dD8SjM&feature=player_embedded&noredirect=1#!
My love,
Misty
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Day 108: Oh Age, you get the best of us.
I'm surrounded by people getting OLDER.
So are YOU!
One of my favorite songs (I have hundreds of them, but still I don't think it diminishes the point) is Older by They Might Be Giants
I went through a lot of the videos to find this one and I think this one was definitely my favorite: I love it when people get creative with their favorite forms of media.
Anywhat!
I like the song a lot. It seems at first that they are making fun of our mortality as living beings, but I think it can most definitely be taken to a deeper level than that. It's not human mortality they are making fun of, it's the way we treat it so dire. Like our mortality is something to fear.
Uh NO!
Mortality is something to embrace!
If you embrace your mortality you can embrace the very action of getting older and with THAT you can better understand not only your life as a whole but the goings on around you. We are all here for a while, some shorter than others and that is a shame it truly is a sobbing shame... For the people we leave behind. But if we understand our mortality and treat it with the respect of an old friend, we have LIVED every single day to its fullest! Or we have at least tried and implemented what it means to live life to its fullest.
I hear an awful lot of people saying things like "LIVE" or "Stop and smell the roses!" or "ENJOY LIFE!", and I see some of them really understanding that and what all that entails. All too often, though, I see people who say things like that but who walk around complaining about everything, constantly sucking the life out of everything. Not that I don't complain, I just mean that there are people who seem to get caught in the idea of complaining and let it run them down the big black hole that is death. Life is rough. It's always going to be rough. There will always be things to dwell on.
NOT
DWELLING
IS
HOW
YOU
ENJOY
LIFE.
You don't dwell on the crap, and you find a way to wipe your ass and stand up and smell the fresh air when you walk out of the bathroom. Too many people hang out in the bathroom poking the poo and calling everyone else into the room to confirm the horrible stench and the pure grossness of it all then bend over and show their asshole.
Not to be gross, that's just the best analogy I could come up with - never mind the pun.
So yeah. Stop and do smell the roses. Try your best to never mind the shit, eh?
So are YOU!
One of my favorite songs (I have hundreds of them, but still I don't think it diminishes the point) is Older by They Might Be Giants
I went through a lot of the videos to find this one and I think this one was definitely my favorite: I love it when people get creative with their favorite forms of media.
Anywhat!
I like the song a lot. It seems at first that they are making fun of our mortality as living beings, but I think it can most definitely be taken to a deeper level than that. It's not human mortality they are making fun of, it's the way we treat it so dire. Like our mortality is something to fear.
Uh NO!
Mortality is something to embrace!
If you embrace your mortality you can embrace the very action of getting older and with THAT you can better understand not only your life as a whole but the goings on around you. We are all here for a while, some shorter than others and that is a shame it truly is a sobbing shame... For the people we leave behind. But if we understand our mortality and treat it with the respect of an old friend, we have LIVED every single day to its fullest! Or we have at least tried and implemented what it means to live life to its fullest.
I hear an awful lot of people saying things like "LIVE" or "Stop and smell the roses!" or "ENJOY LIFE!", and I see some of them really understanding that and what all that entails. All too often, though, I see people who say things like that but who walk around complaining about everything, constantly sucking the life out of everything. Not that I don't complain, I just mean that there are people who seem to get caught in the idea of complaining and let it run them down the big black hole that is death. Life is rough. It's always going to be rough. There will always be things to dwell on.
NOT
DWELLING
IS
HOW
YOU
ENJOY
LIFE.
You don't dwell on the crap, and you find a way to wipe your ass and stand up and smell the fresh air when you walk out of the bathroom. Too many people hang out in the bathroom poking the poo and calling everyone else into the room to confirm the horrible stench and the pure grossness of it all then bend over and show their asshole.
Not to be gross, that's just the best analogy I could come up with - never mind the pun.
So yeah. Stop and do smell the roses. Try your best to never mind the shit, eh?
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Day 94: Venture Localism
So, as some of you may or may not know, 2011 was a big year for me. I passed the 30 year mark in my life, I came into the year with a 6month old child, and since the beginning of the year I have started 3 business ventures. Or business adventures if you will.
I have a dream in mind that will no doubt take no less than about 15 years to come to fruition if I'm being honest about my abilities and my financial situation. Never the less: I believe in my ability to make SOMETHING happen.
All three ventures have their selfish reasons: Mamo's Books & Handmade Goods is the spark in my dream and the most selfish for sure. I want to make things, I want to make money from making things, pretty and useful. I want to see and read all the books I possibly can (I love books!), and I want to make money while giving myself this opportunity. I want to own a shop someday where people can come hang out, drink coffee and juice and water and talk. They can buy books or not buy books, just so long as they talk about them and also talk about the world and how it can be made a nicer place for us all.
Melaleuca is for sure middle of the road. It's a selfish venture because I hope I can make a little money from it. It's not really that selfish though in that I can feel good about using most of their products in my home. I don't need to worry about the endocrine disrupting power of bleach while I disinfect my kitchen, bathroom, floors and whatever, Melaleuca products use tea tree oil (melaleuca oil) and thyme and good ole fashioned herbal chemistry. Even the vitamins are made from organic compounds, so I know I'm doing the better thing by my body (selfish, sure).
Finally, I'm brought to my venturing in Doula work. A doula, for those of you who do not know, is a woman who helps other women in childbirth. This job hopefully begins during pregnancy and climaxes during actual labor but does not end after the new person is brought into the world. I started doing this for lots of reasons. The world surrounding pregnancy and childbirth in our American culture is clouded with fear, uncertainty, drugs and greed. Unfortunately. This unfortunate development has led to growing uses of formula instead of breastmilk and thus childhood obesity, a lack of bonding and trust between mother and child, an overall unhealthy attitude towards true nutrition of the mind, body and spirit. One could argue that these developments in our history since the 30's have contributed to the lack of moral scope in Americans: why our crime rate is higher, why there is so much violence here. But I don't want to go there. I don't downplay anyone's experience as a parent: it is such an immense job with such overwhelming emotion and love. I could never pretend that my experience is better or more fulfilling than anyone else's. It wouldn't be right and it wouldn't be fair. I just maintain that in my opinion the overall feelings and thoughts towards childbirth, pregnancy and neonatal care could be better, could be different. The other countries that have a different perspective on childbirth and neonatal care; the countries that use doulas, that embrace pregnancy and childbirth as both natural and beautiful, the ones that have societies who understand that a woman (a mother) is more often than not (by about 87%) very capable of birthing without medical intervention and also more capable than any medical professional to care for her newborn: have lower birth defects, lower infant and maternal mortality rates (excluding 3rd world countries where overall nutrition is a daily struggle), lower violent crime rates, higher breastfeeding rates, less accounts of severe postpartum depression and psychosis AND lower SIDS rates. I even found studies showing an overall decrease in labor time (some claimed only half an hour on average decrease, some claimed as much as 8 hours in an average decrease). Anyway, this last venture is all about doing my part to change the world... For the better.
In any case, all three are an attempt at creating jobs in my local community - even if it's just 3 jobs for ME!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Just playin. Sort of.
Love ya'll!
I have a dream in mind that will no doubt take no less than about 15 years to come to fruition if I'm being honest about my abilities and my financial situation. Never the less: I believe in my ability to make SOMETHING happen.
All three ventures have their selfish reasons: Mamo's Books & Handmade Goods is the spark in my dream and the most selfish for sure. I want to make things, I want to make money from making things, pretty and useful. I want to see and read all the books I possibly can (I love books!), and I want to make money while giving myself this opportunity. I want to own a shop someday where people can come hang out, drink coffee and juice and water and talk. They can buy books or not buy books, just so long as they talk about them and also talk about the world and how it can be made a nicer place for us all.
Melaleuca is for sure middle of the road. It's a selfish venture because I hope I can make a little money from it. It's not really that selfish though in that I can feel good about using most of their products in my home. I don't need to worry about the endocrine disrupting power of bleach while I disinfect my kitchen, bathroom, floors and whatever, Melaleuca products use tea tree oil (melaleuca oil) and thyme and good ole fashioned herbal chemistry. Even the vitamins are made from organic compounds, so I know I'm doing the better thing by my body (selfish, sure).
Finally, I'm brought to my venturing in Doula work. A doula, for those of you who do not know, is a woman who helps other women in childbirth. This job hopefully begins during pregnancy and climaxes during actual labor but does not end after the new person is brought into the world. I started doing this for lots of reasons. The world surrounding pregnancy and childbirth in our American culture is clouded with fear, uncertainty, drugs and greed. Unfortunately. This unfortunate development has led to growing uses of formula instead of breastmilk and thus childhood obesity, a lack of bonding and trust between mother and child, an overall unhealthy attitude towards true nutrition of the mind, body and spirit. One could argue that these developments in our history since the 30's have contributed to the lack of moral scope in Americans: why our crime rate is higher, why there is so much violence here. But I don't want to go there. I don't downplay anyone's experience as a parent: it is such an immense job with such overwhelming emotion and love. I could never pretend that my experience is better or more fulfilling than anyone else's. It wouldn't be right and it wouldn't be fair. I just maintain that in my opinion the overall feelings and thoughts towards childbirth, pregnancy and neonatal care could be better, could be different. The other countries that have a different perspective on childbirth and neonatal care; the countries that use doulas, that embrace pregnancy and childbirth as both natural and beautiful, the ones that have societies who understand that a woman (a mother) is more often than not (by about 87%) very capable of birthing without medical intervention and also more capable than any medical professional to care for her newborn: have lower birth defects, lower infant and maternal mortality rates (excluding 3rd world countries where overall nutrition is a daily struggle), lower violent crime rates, higher breastfeeding rates, less accounts of severe postpartum depression and psychosis AND lower SIDS rates. I even found studies showing an overall decrease in labor time (some claimed only half an hour on average decrease, some claimed as much as 8 hours in an average decrease). Anyway, this last venture is all about doing my part to change the world... For the better.
In any case, all three are an attempt at creating jobs in my local community - even if it's just 3 jobs for ME!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Just playin. Sort of.
Love ya'll!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Day 92: A strange day indeed...
Today was one of those days where I just felt like I was living inside a glass bowl watching everything around me get weirder and weirder. Even the completely normal things seemed strange to me today! I don't really know how to explain it all, well, I CAN'T explain it all, so I'll just list everything:
A woman sitting angrily at a picnic table (don't ask me why, but she just looked angry)
A mother carrying a toddler (maybe around Mira's age) in a sling and also carrying flowers
A remarkably overweight woman walking with a utility cart FULL of empty garbage bags
News reports of an earthquake felt from Atlanta to Boston and originating in Virginia near a nuclear plant
News reports of yet another mob outbreak
News reports of an earthquake about to hit the lower East coast
I would also like to say that I don't usually watch the news, but it was somehow inevitable today as
it was on everywhere I went - and I only committed to watching an accumulative 10-15min total.
A grocery clerk asking me if I knew I picked up organic broccoli and then scoffing at me when it rang up at 3.99 for the bunch
6 different cars pull in to 6 different parking lots, park, immediately pull out, turn around and go back out (okay, I was one of those, but even still; 5 is a lot of that to see in one afternoon)
My phone giving error messages that consisted of one single ! and then the OK button (never seen that one before)
Later, at dinner, discussion moved on to an environmental discussion about the world water shortage (seriously people, it is beginning) and how desertification is becoming a reality in many places the world over:
http://www.howstuffworks.com/environmental/conservation/issues/desertification.htm
and also see:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/climate-weather/atmospheric/us-desert-50-years.htm
I was surprised to be explaining that yes, there really is a threat to our water sources. The entire world is facing a potential disastrous water shortage. I wasn't surprised because it's something that everyone knows, I can face the facts, and the facts are that very few people know or understand this. I was surprised because I honestly thought this particular person already knew... I'm really happy it came up! It's the kind of thing people just don't understand when they can't relate it to their every day lives and their ability to just go to the tap and turn on the faucet. But it is a real threat, mostly due to pollution, drainage without replenishment and pollution. Yeah, I said pollution twice because it is such a big problem: once you put certain things in the water, you can't get just water back!
There are lots of resources out there in modern society bringing it up: a children's cartoon called Rango, National Geographic printed an entire issue related directly to water shortage and pollution, I've seen documentaries, and even news reports and commercials.
Unfortunately it's like my good friend Mac says: "People don't care or pay attention until their hair is on fire"
Hmmmm
So yeah, today was indeed a strange day.
I hope you were enjoying your day wherever you were today. I hope you were noticing all the weirder than normal stuff going on around you too.
A woman sitting angrily at a picnic table (don't ask me why, but she just looked angry)
A mother carrying a toddler (maybe around Mira's age) in a sling and also carrying flowers
A remarkably overweight woman walking with a utility cart FULL of empty garbage bags
News reports of an earthquake felt from Atlanta to Boston and originating in Virginia near a nuclear plant
News reports of yet another mob outbreak
News reports of an earthquake about to hit the lower East coast
I would also like to say that I don't usually watch the news, but it was somehow inevitable today as
it was on everywhere I went - and I only committed to watching an accumulative 10-15min total.
A grocery clerk asking me if I knew I picked up organic broccoli and then scoffing at me when it rang up at 3.99 for the bunch
6 different cars pull in to 6 different parking lots, park, immediately pull out, turn around and go back out (okay, I was one of those, but even still; 5 is a lot of that to see in one afternoon)
My phone giving error messages that consisted of one single ! and then the OK button (never seen that one before)
Later, at dinner, discussion moved on to an environmental discussion about the world water shortage (seriously people, it is beginning) and how desertification is becoming a reality in many places the world over:
http://www.howstuffworks.com/environmental/conservation/issues/desertification.htm
and also see:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/climate-weather/atmospheric/us-desert-50-years.htm
I was surprised to be explaining that yes, there really is a threat to our water sources. The entire world is facing a potential disastrous water shortage. I wasn't surprised because it's something that everyone knows, I can face the facts, and the facts are that very few people know or understand this. I was surprised because I honestly thought this particular person already knew... I'm really happy it came up! It's the kind of thing people just don't understand when they can't relate it to their every day lives and their ability to just go to the tap and turn on the faucet. But it is a real threat, mostly due to pollution, drainage without replenishment and pollution. Yeah, I said pollution twice because it is such a big problem: once you put certain things in the water, you can't get just water back!
There are lots of resources out there in modern society bringing it up: a children's cartoon called Rango, National Geographic printed an entire issue related directly to water shortage and pollution, I've seen documentaries, and even news reports and commercials.
Unfortunately it's like my good friend Mac says: "People don't care or pay attention until their hair is on fire"
Hmmmm
So yeah, today was indeed a strange day.
I hope you were enjoying your day wherever you were today. I hope you were noticing all the weirder than normal stuff going on around you too.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Day 87: Happy Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRENDAN!
Birthdays are funny creatures aren't they? Especially as you get older... When you're young, birthdays are so important and you sort of expect things, or you hope for things and even if you don't expect them: you're severely disappointing if they don't happen. I remember a few times when I was a kid, I had expectations that weren't met and I was heartbroken.
This isn't a woes me post, it happens to everyone at least once.
My last birthday was a roller coaster for sure: We got literally 2 feet of snow on the ground and I shoveled for almost an hour without getting much of anywhere. The only car we had last year was the Civic which is about as high off the ground as a gocart. Anyway, long story short, I had to call in to work which was both a blessing and a curse. Then we got a much needed new fridge from our neighbors which was also a blessing and a curse because we had some things we needed to do in addition to cleaning out the old fridge, finding a cooler to put the stuff in, shoveling out and moving cars so the snow plow could clean the parking lot. Through all the frustrations, Brendan and I got into a terrible fight. It happens, but it was really a terrible fight made worse by happening on my birthday. So I was let down, picked up, let down, picked up, let down, picked up all day long.
It was memorable!
Anyway, so I always want to try and make up for those little short comings for the people in my life... It doesn't usually work, but I put a lot of thought into it! For Brendan's birthday, for instance, today, I was going to get him a video capable MP3, then I was going to get him a tablet THEN I was going to get him a non-motorized boat!
Needless to say, none of that could fulfill my want for him, so I ended up with some clothes and a pair of shoes instead. He seemed happy.
Maybe next year I can do something really special.
Who knows, maybe this year was extra special because of nothing I did... Maybe this year was extra special because this year he got a card from Mira with her very first writing ever on it.
Who wouldn't love that?
Birthdays are funny creatures aren't they? Especially as you get older... When you're young, birthdays are so important and you sort of expect things, or you hope for things and even if you don't expect them: you're severely disappointing if they don't happen. I remember a few times when I was a kid, I had expectations that weren't met and I was heartbroken.
This isn't a woes me post, it happens to everyone at least once.
My last birthday was a roller coaster for sure: We got literally 2 feet of snow on the ground and I shoveled for almost an hour without getting much of anywhere. The only car we had last year was the Civic which is about as high off the ground as a gocart. Anyway, long story short, I had to call in to work which was both a blessing and a curse. Then we got a much needed new fridge from our neighbors which was also a blessing and a curse because we had some things we needed to do in addition to cleaning out the old fridge, finding a cooler to put the stuff in, shoveling out and moving cars so the snow plow could clean the parking lot. Through all the frustrations, Brendan and I got into a terrible fight. It happens, but it was really a terrible fight made worse by happening on my birthday. So I was let down, picked up, let down, picked up, let down, picked up all day long.
It was memorable!
Anyway, so I always want to try and make up for those little short comings for the people in my life... It doesn't usually work, but I put a lot of thought into it! For Brendan's birthday, for instance, today, I was going to get him a video capable MP3, then I was going to get him a tablet THEN I was going to get him a non-motorized boat!
Needless to say, none of that could fulfill my want for him, so I ended up with some clothes and a pair of shoes instead. He seemed happy.
Maybe next year I can do something really special.
Who knows, maybe this year was extra special because of nothing I did... Maybe this year was extra special because this year he got a card from Mira with her very first writing ever on it.
Who wouldn't love that?
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