I'm sure everyone has these times: You want to tell someone how you feel - not to bruise them, but rather to allow them to see the detriment they cause others. However, they, and others in the same circle are too sensitive to bear the criticism no matter how constructive it may be.
A loose "for instance": if I have spinach in my teeth, I want someone to tell me. I don't care how embarrassing it is to hear, and I don't care who is around when I hear it. I just want to know so I don't offend anyone further. Not that spinach in the teeth is hurtful, just aesthetically displeasing and offensive in that manner. (but just so we're clear, my real life instance is far more serious than spinach in the teeth) Let's say, though that it is not me with the spinach in my teeth, but that the person with the spinach in the teeth is clueless about not only the spinach but also the offensive nature in which they impose themselves onto others. Should I tell them about the spinach? I would want to know! So, I think I should tell them. But, alas, I know that with this spinachy-toothed situation, sharing the information would somehow make the worst of the situation. As if the spinach-toothed person is blissful in their (yeah, I know "their" is plural, and maybe that is intentional as there are a FEW people like this in my life) ignorance and sharing with them the unsightly spinach would be so much more offensive than the spewing of speech through it. Because maybe they feel like not knowing the spinach exists, allows the spinach to actually NOT EXIST, but the moment, the very moment I bring up the spinach, I have somehow CREATED the spinach and am therefore WAY MORE offensive than the god damned spinach.
For crying out loud, just get the spinach out of your teeth! And go find the common sense tree and let some of the leaves brush your cheeks! Hopefully some will rub off!
Ahhh, I feel better.
But seriously, would YOU want to know if you were engaging in offensive behavior? Even if it was clear you had no idea the ramifications of your actions?
I would, I'm interested to know who else would.
For sure I would. I don't want to be offensive or hurtful to people.
ReplyDeleteSometimes even when you point out the issue, people won't receive it BUT I think it is better to get it out in the open and give them something to think about, and hope one day they will see.