So tonight might be the first time where both Brendan and I are exhausted and barely able (if able at all) to entertain Mira. And she is WOUND UP! I'm hoping if I do a little writing, I will wake up a bit since Brendan is totally zonked out at the moment.
I guess it's appropriate that this would be a moment where I miss my friends, and my old lifestyle. I feel like I've not missed them nearly as much as I do right now... It's another transition phase where I've gone in one direction with my life that doesn't really allow for the instances in which my friends were regularly in my life. I'm making new friends, and so far, I really do love them all... But I already have relationships with the old friends! It's so hard to establish a knowledge base for new people in your life! Especially when you're still trying to build your life.
I see a lot of people who seem to already have built their lives. I started all that, then I did a re-do, then I did another re-do, and now I'm really actually committed to the life I'm building. Entrepreneur, warehouse worker, mother, writer, lover, changer of the world: I can totally live with all of that - I've always lived a multifaceted life. It feels a little frustrating when I look around and see the lovely people who have already worked so hard and are now reaping the benefits of the seeds they sewn.
Anyway, now for a bitch session; it's been a while.
Say someone asks you a question (about another person) you are not only not comfortable answering fully, but you just will NOT put yourself in the position to gossip and spread shit. Regardless of how true it is, let's just say you aren't willing to do that. So, say, you tell this person such. For instance, someone asked such a question of me, I replied with "Uh, I will say I think (he) is sleazy, but I'm not going to say anything else because I don't want to get caught up in any gossiping or rumor spreading."
If someone said that to me, I would respect their thought, move on and leave the issue alone. But in my experience today, that is not what happened. The person went on and on, saying suggestive things that so-n-so could have done and playing the "Am I right?" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* game. Which is not a game to me, I really find it disrespectful and rude. Four times, I had to repeat myself, FOUR TIMES, saying that I was not going to add to any gossip or anything about (him), all I will say is that I find (him) to be sleazy. Four times. Don't you think that's overkill?
I think it's too much. I don't take someone's reputation lightly when it falls in my hands to trash or uphold. Especially when faced with someone else trying to badger me into doing one or the other. It's not only not fair, moral or justified, it's fishing.
Which brings me to my last bit of ... last bit of... stuff.
Did you know the Domino sugar factory is in Baltimore? Did you know they have huge piles of sugar all day long (I'm assuming only in good weather?) resting at the dock and you can watch the crane (or what ever the machine is) pick up gobfulls of sugar and drop it into (I'm guessing) a hopper? Doesn't that sound so crazy and make you want to see the sugar shenanigans? And what if you FELL in the big pile of sugar? Would you drown? Or suffocate? Is it like quicksand?
I don't know if it's like quicksand, but people have been known to suffocate in grain bins if they got in, uh, over their heads, no pun intended. I'm sure sugar would be the same way - many particles, not so much air - yikes!
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