So I initiated this blog to be an every day thing. As you can see if you look over to the list (or scroll down) there are some days missing, Day 34, Day 32. I'm sure you can find the rest on your own.
I attribute this to MANY factors, most of which lead to the same end result: I run out of day before I get to the blog. Oh, you want reasons? Work, class, house chores, Mira, sleep, research, social life, Brendan, writer's block and uhm, oh, I don't know: I forgot.
In honor of these things, I pose a question:
WHY IS IT SO FUHREAKING DIFFICULT TO JUGGLE EVERYTHING?
And before you ask, no, of course I am not literally juggling my daughter and her father - or anything else for that matter.
I multi-task (which I hear is actually detrimental to overall achievability), I make lists, I try (and I mean I really, really do try, damnit) all with moderate success.
Surely I'm not alone in the feeling that I just don't get as much accomplished as I plan for myself, right? Don't most people have this feeling at the end of the day and as a result, strive to wake up early and get a good start on the next day?
I mean, is THIS what keeps us GOING?
Is a general sense of FAILURE what gets us MOTIVATED at the start of our day? Okay, well maybe not direct failure, but maybe the FEAR of failure? Is it?
Are fear and failure our main source of motivation?
I think I must be confused (and tired, and a little headachey), because for some reason that is all making total sense to me right now.
On some other level (waaaaay over there, yep, that one WAAAYY over there) I don't think that's right at all, I think it is the promise of hope and potential success that gets us motivated every day. Or the love we feel for the people in our lives and the need to be happy so they can be happy as a part of our lives could also be a major contributor to motivation.
I don't know (as you can tell, I'm sure).
But what I do know is that whatever causes motivation seems to evade me all together sometimes. I think about things I should or could be doing and then I think about how I would or could or should be doing them and THEN I think about how motivated I am toward doing them or getting them done. Generally if I think in my head that I could get away with NOT doing them (only when my motivation is low) for whatever reason, I don't. I just don't.
For instance, I once had to take 26 loads of laundry to the laundromat.
Oh yeah, you read that right: 26 (the big two-six; twenty six) loads of laundry. Because I was not motivated for, like 3 months (I don't know, it could have been more, I wasn't motivated at all, so I wasn't counting things either). That was embarrassing.
For real.
Even though you were tired, you made perfect sense.
ReplyDeleteYou said, "Surely I'm not alone in the feeling that I just don't get as much accomplished as I plan for myself...," and "...whatever causes motivation seems to evade me all together sometimes..."
1. No, you're not alone.
2. I can tell you that the more progress one makes in (any area of) life, the higher one's expectations become. With those higher expectations, the perception of failure seems more acute. So while it may seem that motivation completely evades you, it does not, entirely - it's just that you require more of yourself now, so any little fall-back seems like a lot more than it is. Does that make sense?
Oh, I absolutely get that concept.
ReplyDeleteBut it doesn't change the fact that I really do lose complete motivation sometimes.
I'm not in the "Oh no, I have 26 loads of laundry to do" kind of motivation loss anymore, but whole days get lost here and there when my motivation takes a little vacation.