So I've had John Lennon's Working Class Hero in my head for days:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKwXwU5iWs
Here are the lyrics:
As soon as your born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you're so clever and classless and free,
But you're still fucking peasents as far as I can see,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
There's room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
A working class hero is something to be.
A working class hero is something to be.
If you want to be a hero well just follow me,
If you want to be a hero well just follow me.
I love the perplexity this song leaves me with. And I find I'm trying to justify my own personal decisions while listening to it: "but, but I don't subscribe to the bullshit! I quit schools - a few of them! I denounce proclaiming my worth with pieces of paper whether in the form of diplomas or certificates or dollar bills! I AM a working class hero! And I still don't know how to follow you!" seems to play on repeat in my brain while I listen and for quite a while thereafter.
And then I listen to it again.
And again.
And I dissect each line like it's a religion to be studied and followed.
I do this because, well, he plainly states that something is to be achieved if I do "follow him". I believe that if I DO follow him by subscribing to this song... well... then I somehow am able to denounce the fear, the religion, the classes, the sex, the oppression, the time restrictions/constrictions, the failure, all that. But then I realize that I'm not so sure I believe the author himself was a working class hero. Was he?
I don't know.
I don't even know what that means.
By the time I run all this around in my brain, I don't even know whether BEING one is a good thing or a bad thing. Then I always come to the same sobering, cooling, sweaty realization: it doesn't even matter.
I guess in the scheme of things, it really is just art. Meant to perplex and educate and fulfill and to provoke anger towards "those bastards" who do the spreading of fear through religion, class, sex, time restrictions/constrictions by differentiating us with who is worthy, who is not and who is successful and who is a failure.
I'll tell you one thing: I have succeeded in my life! I am exactly who and WHAT I want to be and I love where I am, who I am and who I am with (more often than not!). I work to feel worthy (the money helps, no doubt) of my own food and shelter and contributions to my community, and my self worth is gauged solely on my own parameters!
This is where I sigh the sigh of relief and listen to the song one last time and the tumult of emotions that plagued me before turn to soft resignation and a deep sigh. I let the relief wash over me as I move on into the next thing.
Whew! I thought my brain might explode there for a minute!
And to be sure: I'm not against education - I love to learn and increase my knowledge. I disagree with the idea that a person's worth is measured by whether they followed a program to completion in order to receive a piece of paper. I disagree with the fact that people cannot usually even just try to DO what they love, they have to jump like a monkey and go through the hoops to prove they are worthy of doing what they love. I disagree because it has turned much of our societies into groups of people who just want more and more paper, oh the paper, gimme the diplomas, lemme have the certificates, then I'll get the money the money the money. It's all paper, where did the love go? And what happened to the value in following your heart? What happened to the integrity of the soul?
I'm sure, if you made it all the way through this, you are probably right in touch with your heart and soul and you have no trouble doing what you love all whilst expressing it.
LOVE!
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