It's sometimes the weirdest thing, having a kid.
I adore, absolutely adore and love my child. She is sweet, bold, independent, smart, and amazing. That said, there are certainly some days that are harder than others. Some days, sweet Mira, is so unhappy for one reason or another (didn't sleep well, teething, growth spurts, uncomfortable in some way, hungry, you name it). Even those days, I cannot get enough of her.
Sometimes, I load her into the car and we head out for this place or that and I fear I left her at home because she isn't RIGHT THERE. She is quietly watching the goings on of the world outside from her carseat, but I panic, thinking I forgot her altogether! It's silly and I know that; irrational. But for some reason, if she isn't right there where I can pick her up and hold her if I want, I sort of freak out for a minute and have to calm myself again.
Like right now: Brendan took her to his mother's house for a little while so I could get some work done. Very thoughtful of him, indeed. But I just frantically reached out to feel for her in the middle of working on something! I miss my baby! This bond is ridiculously strong! Sometimes even when I'm at work, I almost believe I can feel her calling out for me or just longing for an embrace from me. And then I am longing to hold her and hear her talking or screaming or singing or even crying, I don't care how I get her, I just want her.
Don't get me wrong - it IS good to get away sometimes. But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of her or missing her while we are apart...
Being a mom is very crazy.
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