In a world like the one we Americans have today, it's impossible to be lazy on accident. You have to really try to avoid news, work, family, friends, everything. In a world like today, you can be reached on the toilet, while grocery shopping at the store, while arguing with your significant other, even while camping. It's pretty hard to avoid stuff, people and responsibilities.
Heck, even on a day when I accidentally had no obligations, I still had a phone call (which I ignored because I did not recognize the number), I still made breakfast and lunch, and I will still make dinner and I will still talk to my family and friends. BUT I will NOT change out of my pajamas, I will not set foot out of my home, I will look out the window and marvel in the beauty of my surroundings from the comfort of my home while using my electronic devices purely for pleasure rather than for education, work or anything else, dammit.
I need days like today. Like, I really mean it, I need them. If I don't have a lazy day happen for me for too long, I get disconnected, I can't think, I don't remember to do the basics for myself, I am constantly frustrated and I just hate life. So far, I've been lucky! So far I've only had to deal with about a month of all the horribleness of not having a lazy day, but believe me, a month is long enough!
Talking to a friend at work a few weeks ago, she admitted to being lazy lately because of some thing or another. But I happen to know this woman is a diligent doer! She should have a laZy freakin day, she deserves it. I think a holiday might even be in order for her. Shit, I need one too! I could go somewhere beautiful where I don't have to clean, I don't have to take care of or worry about another human being. I get to go have my food prepared for me and I have nothing but entertainment and pleasing aesthetics everywhere I turn. And by holiday I don't mean Easter or Christmas or anything, I mean a REAL holiday, where you celebrate nothing and go somewhere where you really have the opportunity to enjoy.
I usually get a twinge of guilt after a lazy day. Like I don't do enough. Like I should have taken that opportunity to do more. Like I could have had this, this, this, this and that done if I'd have decided to take priority over lazy. But fuck that. I mean really. I need lazy, and I don't care who knows it. And I don't care who doesn't like it! Seems to me if you're judging me over my lazy day, it's more about you than it is about me, so you have fun with that judgement whoever you are.
Besides, I live my life for me. I live my life for my daughter and my family. I decide what is important and when it is important and why it is important. It's not up to anyone else. And that's a good thing! I do work hard, I do LIKE to work hard, I love to get in the zone and stay busy. But I don't need any of that to get by, it's just how I LIKE to spend most of my time: busy.
But...
I NEED LAZY.
One thought for the judgmental types: It's okay if you want to be judgy, just remember that there is a difference between being observational and being judgy. K?
Link of the day:
http://solarfamilyfarm.com/?p=560
Today, you get two, just because I want to:
http://undergroundhealthreporter.com/
We might as well make it three. Three IS the majic number:
http://jacksonpollock.org/
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Day 561: Oh, Child.
So, Mira's doing that thing all kids do: grow.
She's not only HUGE for her age (the size of a 4 year old and not quite 2.5), but she's doing the other types of growing.
She's not really into talking much.
She's very mischevious (in the sweetest way possible, of course!).
She is completely independent.
This girl does NOT like to have attention called to her, but she loves attention when she brings it on herself.
And boy, oh boy, is she a clever vixen!
In our living room, I have about a 4ft x 10ft area quartered off for my "office/studio/craft supply" area, and in that area, there are stashes of bubble wrap. First, I'll ask you - who doesn't love bubble wrap? Right, everyone. Then I'll ask you - what proper 2 year old would be able to resist it? Right, not one single 2 year old would be able to resist it. So, every chance she gets, if I'm in the kitchen, or engrossed on the computer, or in the shower or changing my clothes or otherwise disposed, I hear the crinkle of plastic between tiny fingers and subtle pops. Wherever I am, I usually call out "Step away from the bubble wrap!" and the crinkling stops... for a minute or two. Of course, this office area is also the most favorite place for our kitty to take his mid day naps in the sunshine, on a shelf that is just the same height as our windowsills. Our window sills are about 2 feet from the floor, so this provides a perfect height for Mira to join her kitty buddy for a little gazing out the window and slap and tickle time. These are also prime opportunities to "play" with the bubble wrap. So, today, when they were in their corner, sharing their fun times together and I heard a little crinkle of plastic, I snapped my neck to look around at her and see what she was up to. She totally knew what was coming, so she looked up at me innocently as if to say "I'm not playing with bubble wrap", upon confirmation, I said "You're fine." to which she answered "I know." and went on about her business.
Well!
Then last night after a game of "take every single book off the shelf and knock it onto the floor", I asked her "Do you want to pick up your books and put them back on the shelf?" and SHE COUNTER OFFERED ME! She asked me, without missing a beat "Do you wanna cook?" I was shocked! I'm still shocked!
Then there's the plain to see idea that clothes are completely inappropriate and should be banned in at least 12 states, but shoes and coats are fine.
And if you ask her if she wants a bath, she'll tell you "No", but 10 minutes later, when it's her idea she'll ask you "Bath?"
We're winding down from the terrible twos, but they sure do like to rear their scary head here and there.
We've jumped over the major bloodfest hurdle already too, after Mira went running out of the kitchen, tripped on her own feet and went sailing through the air head first into the doorjamb where a vacant hinge was waiting to greet her forehead with open arms. Funniest thing about that is that she climbs on everything, jumps off like she thinks she's a flying squirrel and lands fine, but she does a simple sprint out of the kitchen and the next thing you know you're wondering if it's time for stitches or a helmet.
It's so fun to see her grow and watch her trying different things to see what works and try to remember what worked the last time. She's totally interested in cooking now, which makes me very happy - I can entertain her while I cook instead of hoping the books and animals would help me out til dinner was ready. She still loves her letters and numbers, and plop a notebook in front of her with a few pencils and she gives a sigh like she hasn't seen home in a week and goes to work. I love her wit, I appreciate her quietness and good grief, do I just admire the shit out of this kid. She's amazing. They're all amazing.
She's not only HUGE for her age (the size of a 4 year old and not quite 2.5), but she's doing the other types of growing.
She's not really into talking much.
She's very mischevious (in the sweetest way possible, of course!).
She is completely independent.
This girl does NOT like to have attention called to her, but she loves attention when she brings it on herself.
And boy, oh boy, is she a clever vixen!
In our living room, I have about a 4ft x 10ft area quartered off for my "office/studio/craft supply" area, and in that area, there are stashes of bubble wrap. First, I'll ask you - who doesn't love bubble wrap? Right, everyone. Then I'll ask you - what proper 2 year old would be able to resist it? Right, not one single 2 year old would be able to resist it. So, every chance she gets, if I'm in the kitchen, or engrossed on the computer, or in the shower or changing my clothes or otherwise disposed, I hear the crinkle of plastic between tiny fingers and subtle pops. Wherever I am, I usually call out "Step away from the bubble wrap!" and the crinkling stops... for a minute or two. Of course, this office area is also the most favorite place for our kitty to take his mid day naps in the sunshine, on a shelf that is just the same height as our windowsills. Our window sills are about 2 feet from the floor, so this provides a perfect height for Mira to join her kitty buddy for a little gazing out the window and slap and tickle time. These are also prime opportunities to "play" with the bubble wrap. So, today, when they were in their corner, sharing their fun times together and I heard a little crinkle of plastic, I snapped my neck to look around at her and see what she was up to. She totally knew what was coming, so she looked up at me innocently as if to say "I'm not playing with bubble wrap", upon confirmation, I said "You're fine." to which she answered "I know." and went on about her business.
Well!
Then last night after a game of "take every single book off the shelf and knock it onto the floor", I asked her "Do you want to pick up your books and put them back on the shelf?" and SHE COUNTER OFFERED ME! She asked me, without missing a beat "Do you wanna cook?" I was shocked! I'm still shocked!
Then there's the plain to see idea that clothes are completely inappropriate and should be banned in at least 12 states, but shoes and coats are fine.
And if you ask her if she wants a bath, she'll tell you "No", but 10 minutes later, when it's her idea she'll ask you "Bath?"
We're winding down from the terrible twos, but they sure do like to rear their scary head here and there.
We've jumped over the major bloodfest hurdle already too, after Mira went running out of the kitchen, tripped on her own feet and went sailing through the air head first into the doorjamb where a vacant hinge was waiting to greet her forehead with open arms. Funniest thing about that is that she climbs on everything, jumps off like she thinks she's a flying squirrel and lands fine, but she does a simple sprint out of the kitchen and the next thing you know you're wondering if it's time for stitches or a helmet.
It's so fun to see her grow and watch her trying different things to see what works and try to remember what worked the last time. She's totally interested in cooking now, which makes me very happy - I can entertain her while I cook instead of hoping the books and animals would help me out til dinner was ready. She still loves her letters and numbers, and plop a notebook in front of her with a few pencils and she gives a sigh like she hasn't seen home in a week and goes to work. I love her wit, I appreciate her quietness and good grief, do I just admire the shit out of this kid. She's amazing. They're all amazing.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Day 491: Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy!
Stuff that makes me happy:
Family
Good Friends
Food
Fresh Air
Small Surprises
Information
Stuff that makes me unhappy:
Ridiculousness
Being Placated
Being Wet
Throwing things away
Running Late
The things that are making me happiest lately?
Being with my lovely little family. Summers are tough for us - We are more like single parents than a family unit because of our hectic work schedules, so when we have the chance to all be together, it is absolutely enjoyable.
Spending time with good friends. I have been so lucky to have spent truly quality time with some of the most amazing people I've ever met in my whole life. Seriously: my soul weeps with joy from knowing these people, and when I get to hang out with them, I feel like a very very very very lucky girl.
Coconut oil, garlic, ginger, lavender, rosemary, vanilla and fresh made juice, and fresh produce.
And I don't want to talk about the stuff that makes me unhappy, because, well, it makes me unhappy and I don't want to talk about it!
Link of the Day:
http://jennamarblesblog.com/
Family
Good Friends
Food
Fresh Air
Small Surprises
Information
Stuff that makes me unhappy:
Ridiculousness
Being Placated
Being Wet
Throwing things away
Running Late
The things that are making me happiest lately?
Being with my lovely little family. Summers are tough for us - We are more like single parents than a family unit because of our hectic work schedules, so when we have the chance to all be together, it is absolutely enjoyable.
Spending time with good friends. I have been so lucky to have spent truly quality time with some of the most amazing people I've ever met in my whole life. Seriously: my soul weeps with joy from knowing these people, and when I get to hang out with them, I feel like a very very very very lucky girl.
Coconut oil, garlic, ginger, lavender, rosemary, vanilla and fresh made juice, and fresh produce.
And I don't want to talk about the stuff that makes me unhappy, because, well, it makes me unhappy and I don't want to talk about it!
Link of the Day:
http://jennamarblesblog.com/
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Day 487 : Running this race all by yourself, Kid.
Have you ever noticed - or maybe you are like this yourself - that there are people in this world who are extremely competitive?
I mean, extremely.
They have to be the fastest person on the road : no one can pass them.
They have to be first in line : they'll do just about anything to get somewhere before it opens, or leave a concert 20 minutes early to "beat the rush". (and not because they don't like to wait in lines, they just can't seem to allow themselves to be around all those losers at the same time, much less be caught in a stream of traffic with them - because, in their eyes, he who left 3rd might as well as left last because "nanny-nanny-boo-boo, you're stuck in traffic for 20 minutes now!")
They have to be the best (and I do mean THE BEST) at everything: cooking, working, walking (yeah, I said walking - you know what I'm talking about as someone tries to mask a casual glance at your gait then decides they have to change theirs to make it better than yours), talking, arguing, mudslinging - you freaking name it and they are trying to beat you at it.
And these people will go to extreme measures to "get to the top", and if they think you're below them, they'll expect you to help them get there. They'll ask "Uh, hey, would you mind..." and if you're like "Dude, I'm busy." they'll get totally ripped and snippy and comment on how worthless your efforts are like, "Seriously? You REALLY need to eat that box of Lucky Charms right now? That's ridiculous when I need you to help me put my treadmill in my trunk so I can run on my lunchbreak."
They'll bring up stuff like recipes in an innocent enough way, saying "Have you ever made stir-fry?" and when you're like "Sure! I love to make stir-fry! I like to put water chestnuts in, they're my ..." they'll cut you off to insert their own winning agenda "Yeah, but do you cut your own fresh vegetables (insert stinky face and low approving tone)or do you use those frozen mixed precut super duper cheap and amazingly convenient bags of vegetables to make it with?" Knowing full well that you prefer fresh veggies to anything even slightly processed, so when you answer with "Actually, no, I don't mind cutting..." Cut off again because the conversation was never really an actual conversation at all, but really just a platform for the competitor to show how much they are winning at life over you or anyone else who is (insert stinky face and approving tone) cutting up their own fresh vegetables for stir fry.
Not actual circumstances (I hope), but I think you get the point of my example.
Which I only bring up because I don't get it. I mean, I'm not running that race with these compettitors, but from all observations it would appear that they think I am.
And I don't mean to knock it : competitive natures can be very influential and motivating.
I just don't understand it.
But then again, I've never been that competitive unless I'm playing cards or a board game.
The rest of life for me is just an intertwining mess of experiences to be analyzed and mulled over and wondered about. Competitive natures being one of those things I've been experiencing a lot of lately.
Link of the Day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=JB7jSFeVz1U
I mean, extremely.
They have to be the fastest person on the road : no one can pass them.
They have to be first in line : they'll do just about anything to get somewhere before it opens, or leave a concert 20 minutes early to "beat the rush". (and not because they don't like to wait in lines, they just can't seem to allow themselves to be around all those losers at the same time, much less be caught in a stream of traffic with them - because, in their eyes, he who left 3rd might as well as left last because "nanny-nanny-boo-boo, you're stuck in traffic for 20 minutes now!")
They have to be the best (and I do mean THE BEST) at everything: cooking, working, walking (yeah, I said walking - you know what I'm talking about as someone tries to mask a casual glance at your gait then decides they have to change theirs to make it better than yours), talking, arguing, mudslinging - you freaking name it and they are trying to beat you at it.
And these people will go to extreme measures to "get to the top", and if they think you're below them, they'll expect you to help them get there. They'll ask "Uh, hey, would you mind..." and if you're like "Dude, I'm busy." they'll get totally ripped and snippy and comment on how worthless your efforts are like, "Seriously? You REALLY need to eat that box of Lucky Charms right now? That's ridiculous when I need you to help me put my treadmill in my trunk so I can run on my lunchbreak."
They'll bring up stuff like recipes in an innocent enough way, saying "Have you ever made stir-fry?" and when you're like "Sure! I love to make stir-fry! I like to put water chestnuts in, they're my ..." they'll cut you off to insert their own winning agenda "Yeah, but do you cut your own fresh vegetables (insert stinky face and low approving tone)or do you use those frozen mixed precut super duper cheap and amazingly convenient bags of vegetables to make it with?" Knowing full well that you prefer fresh veggies to anything even slightly processed, so when you answer with "Actually, no, I don't mind cutting..." Cut off again because the conversation was never really an actual conversation at all, but really just a platform for the competitor to show how much they are winning at life over you or anyone else who is (insert stinky face and approving tone) cutting up their own fresh vegetables for stir fry.
Not actual circumstances (I hope), but I think you get the point of my example.
Which I only bring up because I don't get it. I mean, I'm not running that race with these compettitors, but from all observations it would appear that they think I am.
And I don't mean to knock it : competitive natures can be very influential and motivating.
I just don't understand it.
But then again, I've never been that competitive unless I'm playing cards or a board game.
The rest of life for me is just an intertwining mess of experiences to be analyzed and mulled over and wondered about. Competitive natures being one of those things I've been experiencing a lot of lately.
Link of the Day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=JB7jSFeVz1U
Friday, August 10, 2012
Day 485 : Raw
There's no doubt about it: Raw is great.
Raw emotion
Raw talent
Raw food
It's all good.
So, to further my efforts for a healthier life, I'm trying to incorporate more raw foods into my diet and my family's diet.
I've resolved to eat either one raw meal a day or at least one raw side dish with at least one meal a day. I'm also trying to include 1 meatless day to my family's diet, or at least 1 meatless dinner a week. It isn't as difficult as it sounds it just requires a slight stray of thought from prepackaged food to "I can totally peel carrots & cut up a cucumber just as easily as I can heat up that package of corn." The nutritional advantages there alone are worth the effort, not to mention the 5 minutes. That's what I'm trying to do for my family, but really for myself, I'm trying to go meatless entirely. I don't know if I'll succeed at that or not, but I definitely feel like I want to try. I also think that the act of just trying to eliminate meat will at least help me reduce the amount of meat I eat.
And wheat, I want to reduce wheat too - replaced with more oats, quinoa and rice. I've already switched all the pasta in our house from wheat pasta to either rice, beans or quinoa pasta. None of this is easy to start, but it's certainly not difficult to carry on once you've done the research.
The other thing I'm realizing is that it's just a different kind of lifestyle to
A) include more raw food
B) reduce the amount of meat in our diet.
I think it will only help my efforts to create a healthier world for my family.
Plus, I'm still trying to lose weight from my pregnancy.
Still.
Losing weight by changing your eating habits is a slow process, but I can honestly say it's felt worth the wait so far. (Pun intended)
Link of the Day:
https://rawforbeauty.3dcartstores.com/
Raw emotion
Raw talent
Raw food
It's all good.
So, to further my efforts for a healthier life, I'm trying to incorporate more raw foods into my diet and my family's diet.
I've resolved to eat either one raw meal a day or at least one raw side dish with at least one meal a day. I'm also trying to include 1 meatless day to my family's diet, or at least 1 meatless dinner a week. It isn't as difficult as it sounds it just requires a slight stray of thought from prepackaged food to "I can totally peel carrots & cut up a cucumber just as easily as I can heat up that package of corn." The nutritional advantages there alone are worth the effort, not to mention the 5 minutes. That's what I'm trying to do for my family, but really for myself, I'm trying to go meatless entirely. I don't know if I'll succeed at that or not, but I definitely feel like I want to try. I also think that the act of just trying to eliminate meat will at least help me reduce the amount of meat I eat.
And wheat, I want to reduce wheat too - replaced with more oats, quinoa and rice. I've already switched all the pasta in our house from wheat pasta to either rice, beans or quinoa pasta. None of this is easy to start, but it's certainly not difficult to carry on once you've done the research.
The other thing I'm realizing is that it's just a different kind of lifestyle to
A) include more raw food
B) reduce the amount of meat in our diet.
I think it will only help my efforts to create a healthier world for my family.
Plus, I'm still trying to lose weight from my pregnancy.
Still.
Losing weight by changing your eating habits is a slow process, but I can honestly say it's felt worth the wait so far. (Pun intended)
Link of the Day:
https://rawforbeauty.3dcartstores.com/
Friday, July 13, 2012
Day 457: The small stuff.
Someone recently told me I don't update my blog, they didn't know what I was up to.
I can see that, I mean I wait until I really really need to get something out or until I just can't wait to share something or whatever, I don't share the small stuff.
And not even a good deal of the big stuff either!
So, here's a little mix:
Last month I started painting (like on canvas) I always wanted to, and I always thought I had decent ideas - or at least ideas I wanted to express anyway. So, I finally dug out the brushes and canvas boards, gesso, paints and pencils and got on with it. I'm pleased with what I've accomplished: I've painted both my logos, and completed two others. I'm currently working on two pieces and have concepts for three more. It makes me very happy and I am hopefully adding to my inventory to give Mamo's a delightful reopening in February.
Mira and I went to Gilbert Lake today to swim, play in the sand and meet up with Mira's Grandma Margie. On the walkway down to the beach area, I hit the one small place in the whole entire walkway where there is the potential for a topple over situation. And I toppled. Oh, man, did I ever topple. I was walking along, holding Mira's hand and I tried to shake her loose on my way down, but because she's such a good girl, she was squeezing nice and tight, so I just knocked her down with me. She cried, I laughed, we both have skinned knees. But we're both totally fine, really.
I'm trying, really trying to get some kind of a summer glow happening. Haven't had much of one of those in oh, probably close to two decades. Especially not on my legs - two years ago, during pregnancy I managed a little brown glow on my nose and shoulders, but not my legs. So, yeah, I'm doing everything I can to get a bit of that going on on the lower limbs. So far it's not working: I don't even get a burn, just stay pale and ghostly white.
I have a jalapeno growing, two tomatoes, and two clusters of grape (black grape) tomatoes. I am very very excited about my small but promising bounty.
I'm thinking about trying to do a food diary and a time study for one month. Being that I'm fairly forgetful until I've created a habit, I think it will probably take me one month of practice before I actually start the real month. During the practice month, I want to do another juice cleanse of at least 4 days. It changed my life the first time and I'm aching for the feelings of cleansed release from food. I realize that food is nothing for most people to fear, but I am terrified of food - I am powerless over food. Sounds ridiculous, I'm sure, but I'm just being truthful.
And now, I sign off for the day.
Link of the Day:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/10/health/elderly-experts-share-life-advice-in-cornell-project.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all
I can see that, I mean I wait until I really really need to get something out or until I just can't wait to share something or whatever, I don't share the small stuff.
And not even a good deal of the big stuff either!
So, here's a little mix:
Last month I started painting (like on canvas) I always wanted to, and I always thought I had decent ideas - or at least ideas I wanted to express anyway. So, I finally dug out the brushes and canvas boards, gesso, paints and pencils and got on with it. I'm pleased with what I've accomplished: I've painted both my logos, and completed two others. I'm currently working on two pieces and have concepts for three more. It makes me very happy and I am hopefully adding to my inventory to give Mamo's a delightful reopening in February.
Mira and I went to Gilbert Lake today to swim, play in the sand and meet up with Mira's Grandma Margie. On the walkway down to the beach area, I hit the one small place in the whole entire walkway where there is the potential for a topple over situation. And I toppled. Oh, man, did I ever topple. I was walking along, holding Mira's hand and I tried to shake her loose on my way down, but because she's such a good girl, she was squeezing nice and tight, so I just knocked her down with me. She cried, I laughed, we both have skinned knees. But we're both totally fine, really.
I'm trying, really trying to get some kind of a summer glow happening. Haven't had much of one of those in oh, probably close to two decades. Especially not on my legs - two years ago, during pregnancy I managed a little brown glow on my nose and shoulders, but not my legs. So, yeah, I'm doing everything I can to get a bit of that going on on the lower limbs. So far it's not working: I don't even get a burn, just stay pale and ghostly white.
I have a jalapeno growing, two tomatoes, and two clusters of grape (black grape) tomatoes. I am very very excited about my small but promising bounty.
I'm thinking about trying to do a food diary and a time study for one month. Being that I'm fairly forgetful until I've created a habit, I think it will probably take me one month of practice before I actually start the real month. During the practice month, I want to do another juice cleanse of at least 4 days. It changed my life the first time and I'm aching for the feelings of cleansed release from food. I realize that food is nothing for most people to fear, but I am terrified of food - I am powerless over food. Sounds ridiculous, I'm sure, but I'm just being truthful.
And now, I sign off for the day.
Link of the Day:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/10/health/elderly-experts-share-life-advice-in-cornell-project.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Day 447: It was a bright and shiny afternoon.
So the other day, I left work after a full day of slinging cardboard boxes in my then dirty grey tanktop, got in my old, rusty, filthy Subaru, put on WTF with Marc Maron (podcast) and started my hour long drive for home.
I saw a hitch hiker a few miles from work.
I waved, shrugged, as if to say "Sorry, Dude! I'm a woman in her car by herself, very tired after a long day of work and I gotta get home to my family!"
I looked in my rear view mirror, saw him sweatily raise his thumb at the next car behind me and thought "Bahhh, he'll be alright. Surely someone will stop and take pity on a middle aged dude with a bald head, full beard and tie-dyed t-shirt on a super hot day"
And I kept driving.
Then the guilt set in. I thought "He kind of looked like my good friend, So N So. I bet he's an alright dude if he looks like my friend So N So. I wonder what he's doing hitching a ride like that. Probably just trying to get to the middle of nowhere from the airport in Albany."
And I kept driving.
Then more guilt set in "Why didn't I stop and pick that guy up, anyway? Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid I won't get home fast enough and my family will say FUCK IT and leave me. I'm afraid this random guy who I don't know will harm me in some way. I'm afraid of this guy. I'm afraid of some guy who is just a fellow human being as far as I'm concerned: a guy who's never done anything to harm me in any way."
And that got me wondering about my faith in humanity. I mean I try to have it, I express that I think other people should have it. Is there some reason I don't.
Uh yeah. There are plenty of reasons I shouldn't have it, but I'm still hanging in there. I'm still hanging on to the faith that humanity is wholesome and good.
So I turned around.
I drove the several miles back to the turnaround where I could get back on the other side of the highway and pick that sweaty hitch hiker up.
I pulled over, I said "Sorry I didn't pick you up before, but then I thought about how you look like my friend So N So and I thought it's so fucking hot today, and I had to turn around and come pick you up"
He was glad I did, said Sunday's not a good day for hitch hikin', everybody's out travelin' with their families. His brother never picked him up from Albany, he's going to Richfield, his dog just ran away, he used to drive some equipment, blah blah blah and stranger silence all the way to the Stewarts in Richfield where he was hoping to charge his phone and get ahold of his asshole brother who left him stranded before.
I took a leap of faith in humanity. And it worked out.
I'm not condoning hitch hiking or picking up hitch hikers.
I'm just telling about a time I actively participated in my faith in humanity. A positive experience where everything worked out.
Link of the Day:
http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast
I saw a hitch hiker a few miles from work.
I waved, shrugged, as if to say "Sorry, Dude! I'm a woman in her car by herself, very tired after a long day of work and I gotta get home to my family!"
I looked in my rear view mirror, saw him sweatily raise his thumb at the next car behind me and thought "Bahhh, he'll be alright. Surely someone will stop and take pity on a middle aged dude with a bald head, full beard and tie-dyed t-shirt on a super hot day"
And I kept driving.
Then the guilt set in. I thought "He kind of looked like my good friend, So N So. I bet he's an alright dude if he looks like my friend So N So. I wonder what he's doing hitching a ride like that. Probably just trying to get to the middle of nowhere from the airport in Albany."
And I kept driving.
Then more guilt set in "Why didn't I stop and pick that guy up, anyway? Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid I won't get home fast enough and my family will say FUCK IT and leave me. I'm afraid this random guy who I don't know will harm me in some way. I'm afraid of this guy. I'm afraid of some guy who is just a fellow human being as far as I'm concerned: a guy who's never done anything to harm me in any way."
And that got me wondering about my faith in humanity. I mean I try to have it, I express that I think other people should have it. Is there some reason I don't.
Uh yeah. There are plenty of reasons I shouldn't have it, but I'm still hanging in there. I'm still hanging on to the faith that humanity is wholesome and good.
So I turned around.
I drove the several miles back to the turnaround where I could get back on the other side of the highway and pick that sweaty hitch hiker up.
I pulled over, I said "Sorry I didn't pick you up before, but then I thought about how you look like my friend So N So and I thought it's so fucking hot today, and I had to turn around and come pick you up"
He was glad I did, said Sunday's not a good day for hitch hikin', everybody's out travelin' with their families. His brother never picked him up from Albany, he's going to Richfield, his dog just ran away, he used to drive some equipment, blah blah blah and stranger silence all the way to the Stewarts in Richfield where he was hoping to charge his phone and get ahold of his asshole brother who left him stranded before.
I took a leap of faith in humanity. And it worked out.
I'm not condoning hitch hiking or picking up hitch hikers.
I'm just telling about a time I actively participated in my faith in humanity. A positive experience where everything worked out.
Link of the Day:
http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Day 442: Shiny Memories
We went swimming last week at Gilbert Lake. I love that place. The
water is so clean and beautiful and cool. As we were leaving I saw a
group of young girls, three of four of them. They were hiding their
shoes in some tall grass mixed with tall simple white flowers. They were
worried someone by the shore might try to snag their shoes. I thought
the likelihood of the shoes getting mauled by a mower was more likely
than getting stolen, but I could relate to the girls anyway. Being
young, traveling by foot with some peers in some state park, headed for
water, fun and adventure. The possibilities were endless with the sun
shining, the lush vegetation and the sparkling water. Seeing those girls
chatting away to each other, rustling in the flowers and grass was a
beautiful sight. It made me feel happy and young too, wishing for
adventurous times. Everything about those girls seemed to sparkle. And
in my memory, those times for me seemed shiny too.
Well today I had another beautiful day. And I was on foot with a peer and even though we're past 30, and we're traveling with children of our own now, I felt sparkly. I saw our kids having fun and they seemed sparkly. I had conversations with my friend and the words came out of her mouth all sparkly.
I didn't actually realize it until later, but we were making shiny memories, all covered in youth and the unknown and adventure and sunshine mixed with water.
Link of the Day:
http://www.ommegang.com/#!events
Well today I had another beautiful day. And I was on foot with a peer and even though we're past 30, and we're traveling with children of our own now, I felt sparkly. I saw our kids having fun and they seemed sparkly. I had conversations with my friend and the words came out of her mouth all sparkly.
I didn't actually realize it until later, but we were making shiny memories, all covered in youth and the unknown and adventure and sunshine mixed with water.
Link of the Day:
http://www.ommegang.com/#!events
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Day 440: Transition Time
I should have seen it coming. Months ago I started feeling the shift.
Having been through this a few times in my life, I just really should
have seen it coming up over the horizon.
It's a transition time for me. Not like a physical or even measurable kind of transition, but an internal one. I'm growing on the inside.
It started when I stopped nursing Mira. I think my hormonal rebalance mixed with the realization that I am not only a mother but a woman who works, thinks and who has dreams and wants to enjoy life. I didn't (like most mothers) know what to do with that. I thought "I have to live with this duality of being Mira's mom & Misty Me Miller", and maybe that's a bit true. I mean, do we, as children, ever know our parents as regular people? Tough call! I mean, I know on some level who my parents are, as people, but more than that, they are my parents. They are the people who fed me. They fed me life, food and ideals. So when I discovered that I am now this entity for another human being, I struggled not knowing how to be that, maintain that and still do ME. I felt rebellious: let the black flag fly & find some bridges to burn!
Then came the wave of depression. It kind of knocked me on my ass. Like usual. I can't muster much past the necessities, and the things I CAN muster feel so unbelievably selfish that I tailspin in self pity, revelations, and a deep darkness that is ever present (though sometimes more prevalent than others). I wallow. Internally, because I've learned that I deal better when I'm dealing with me by myself. If I bring others into the darkness, I become the depression instead of dealing with it.
Let me tell you, bouts of deep depression suck. I feel confused all the time, whiney, I dress bad and even just after I've taken a shower I feel like I'm covered in alien manure.
Now...
Well...
Now I have no idea where this transition is going with me, but I feel more clarity, I feel stronger and I feel like a clean slate. I'm grateful I realize what's going on.
The feeling of rebellion and the depression were all steps leading me up the hill of transition. I'm at the top of the hill and I don't know what is in for me as I make my gradual descent, but I can at least see the hill now. I thought I was on a flat road there for a while.
I love life. For real.
It's a transition time for me. Not like a physical or even measurable kind of transition, but an internal one. I'm growing on the inside.
It started when I stopped nursing Mira. I think my hormonal rebalance mixed with the realization that I am not only a mother but a woman who works, thinks and who has dreams and wants to enjoy life. I didn't (like most mothers) know what to do with that. I thought "I have to live with this duality of being Mira's mom & Misty Me Miller", and maybe that's a bit true. I mean, do we, as children, ever know our parents as regular people? Tough call! I mean, I know on some level who my parents are, as people, but more than that, they are my parents. They are the people who fed me. They fed me life, food and ideals. So when I discovered that I am now this entity for another human being, I struggled not knowing how to be that, maintain that and still do ME. I felt rebellious: let the black flag fly & find some bridges to burn!
Then came the wave of depression. It kind of knocked me on my ass. Like usual. I can't muster much past the necessities, and the things I CAN muster feel so unbelievably selfish that I tailspin in self pity, revelations, and a deep darkness that is ever present (though sometimes more prevalent than others). I wallow. Internally, because I've learned that I deal better when I'm dealing with me by myself. If I bring others into the darkness, I become the depression instead of dealing with it.
Let me tell you, bouts of deep depression suck. I feel confused all the time, whiney, I dress bad and even just after I've taken a shower I feel like I'm covered in alien manure.
Now...
Well...
Now I have no idea where this transition is going with me, but I feel more clarity, I feel stronger and I feel like a clean slate. I'm grateful I realize what's going on.
The feeling of rebellion and the depression were all steps leading me up the hill of transition. I'm at the top of the hill and I don't know what is in for me as I make my gradual descent, but I can at least see the hill now. I thought I was on a flat road there for a while.
I love life. For real.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Day 435: Mom, Mommy, Mombo, Momma, Mi, Mawmaw
Yesterday I celebrated with my daughter, who turned two years old.
She wanted a piece of bread for breakfast. No cereal, no egg, no toast, just bread. Which was the first time that's ever happened.
It's like she knew it was a special day and she could make any odd request she wanted.
I often try (very hard) not to write about my daughter, or about being a mother. I love my daughter and I LOVE being a mother, but I know that not everyone else wants to read about it. I also know that if Mira were to one day read all this, she might be more interested in the role she didn't play in my life. I hope that she feels like she knows enough about that already.. I hope I fulfill her needs for love and affection enough that she doesn't ache for more when she's older.
But part of me knows that's not possible. We always want more from our parents than they can offer. It's part of the human struggle.
Being a mom is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to me. Having Mira gave me perspective for progress. Looking around I saw plenty of other people who had perspective to grow and have success without children. I never really had that though. I just wanted to live, reasonably comfortably, experience some things and learn about loving life.
My schedule revolved around work, not meaningful work, just the kind of work you acquire to get by or to get ahead.
Now my schedule revolves around Mira (and work too, but only one job), family time and my own personal business ventures.
Notice the first piece is Mira. I love her so much. I love hanging out with her, talking with her, teaching her, tickling her, laughing with her, helping her work with me around the house.
And I couldn't be more proud.
This kid, she's amazing.
I know they're all amazing, but I think I'm allowed to feel like my own child is the most amazing.
Mira is kind, loving, sensitive, thoughtful and smart. Selfish, of course, but that's okay, we need a little bit of selfish in all of us to be healthy.
I have to brag a little. I just have to.
This kid knows her alphabet verbally and visually.
She can now without faltering count to ten too!
She's just barely two!
She knows most of her color names and is totally into art.
She's so amazing.
I'm so lucky to have had her.
I miss her when we're apart, I worry when she's leaving a room and I can't wait to see her next.
I cherish every single minute with her -even the tough ones and I'm blown away at how much I look forward to and love when she grows.
Love your kids. Look through those tough times, love all the times you have with them or you'll miss the opportunity to see how wonderful they are. Realize that you can live your life and still love them, teach them and give to them. When you give your kids more than you think you have, you grow as a person and you realize you have so much more than you ever thought you could.
She wanted a piece of bread for breakfast. No cereal, no egg, no toast, just bread. Which was the first time that's ever happened.
It's like she knew it was a special day and she could make any odd request she wanted.
I often try (very hard) not to write about my daughter, or about being a mother. I love my daughter and I LOVE being a mother, but I know that not everyone else wants to read about it. I also know that if Mira were to one day read all this, she might be more interested in the role she didn't play in my life. I hope that she feels like she knows enough about that already.. I hope I fulfill her needs for love and affection enough that she doesn't ache for more when she's older.
But part of me knows that's not possible. We always want more from our parents than they can offer. It's part of the human struggle.
Being a mom is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to me. Having Mira gave me perspective for progress. Looking around I saw plenty of other people who had perspective to grow and have success without children. I never really had that though. I just wanted to live, reasonably comfortably, experience some things and learn about loving life.
My schedule revolved around work, not meaningful work, just the kind of work you acquire to get by or to get ahead.
Now my schedule revolves around Mira (and work too, but only one job), family time and my own personal business ventures.
Notice the first piece is Mira. I love her so much. I love hanging out with her, talking with her, teaching her, tickling her, laughing with her, helping her work with me around the house.
And I couldn't be more proud.
This kid, she's amazing.
I know they're all amazing, but I think I'm allowed to feel like my own child is the most amazing.
Mira is kind, loving, sensitive, thoughtful and smart. Selfish, of course, but that's okay, we need a little bit of selfish in all of us to be healthy.
I have to brag a little. I just have to.
This kid knows her alphabet verbally and visually.
She can now without faltering count to ten too!
She's just barely two!
She knows most of her color names and is totally into art.
She's so amazing.
I'm so lucky to have had her.
I miss her when we're apart, I worry when she's leaving a room and I can't wait to see her next.
I cherish every single minute with her -even the tough ones and I'm blown away at how much I look forward to and love when she grows.
Love your kids. Look through those tough times, love all the times you have with them or you'll miss the opportunity to see how wonderful they are. Realize that you can live your life and still love them, teach them and give to them. When you give your kids more than you think you have, you grow as a person and you realize you have so much more than you ever thought you could.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Day 414:
So.
A few years ago.
I learned.
Everyone I love.
Leaves me.
And if they haven't yet, I'm resigned to the knowledge that they will.
And you will too.
The realization came all in one 3 month period where like 9 people I loved, cared about and who helped truly shape me in various ways all left. For different places at different times and for completely different reasons, but it seriously felt like every week another person was leaving.
You know what, good for them, it's not about me.
But seriously - why does it have to be EVERYONE I GET CLOSE TO?
Either they leave me or I leave them.
It's just strange.
I mean, right now, the mainstays in my life are Brendan and Mira. Mira will leave for sure. I'm mostly certain Brendan will stay, and that's what I have my heart set on.
But so far history has had a different lesson for me.
I guess we'll see.
As a side note, I have an idea about a great way to germinate seeds indoors without using soil.
As another side note: I'm working on more handmade goods. I love making things.
As the last side note for the day: I bought the paint required to paint my doula logo. Bright, shiny, healthy starts.
For real.
Link of the day:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Love_You
A few years ago.
I learned.
Everyone I love.
Leaves me.
And if they haven't yet, I'm resigned to the knowledge that they will.
And you will too.
The realization came all in one 3 month period where like 9 people I loved, cared about and who helped truly shape me in various ways all left. For different places at different times and for completely different reasons, but it seriously felt like every week another person was leaving.
You know what, good for them, it's not about me.
But seriously - why does it have to be EVERYONE I GET CLOSE TO?
Either they leave me or I leave them.
It's just strange.
I mean, right now, the mainstays in my life are Brendan and Mira. Mira will leave for sure. I'm mostly certain Brendan will stay, and that's what I have my heart set on.
But so far history has had a different lesson for me.
I guess we'll see.
As a side note, I have an idea about a great way to germinate seeds indoors without using soil.
As another side note: I'm working on more handmade goods. I love making things.
As the last side note for the day: I bought the paint required to paint my doula logo. Bright, shiny, healthy starts.
For real.
Link of the day:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Love_You
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Day 402: When I was very young....
One day when I was very young (maybe 8), I went to work with my mom for an afternoon. I loved going there, people talked to me a lot about all kinds of interesting things that most other people didn't bother talking to me about. I don't remember a lot of the details surrounding these days in general, but there is one day I remember particularly well.
Some elderly gentleman was for some reason in the same room as me. No one else, just he and I. I was nervously hanging around, waiting to see if anything interesting would happen as a result of being alone with someone so much my senior - I'm thinking he must have been in his 70's, this man. I don't remember striking up a conversation with him, and I don't even remember if it was in context, but I clearly remember him passing on a tidbit of wisdom my way.
He said,
"You'll know you're getting old when it feels like a lot of the people you know or have known, are dead or dying."
Some days I feel really old.
Link of the Day: Check it out if you want, pass it by if you don't. Pass it along if you feel, but please, please don't be a heel.
http://www.learnvest.com/2012/05/can-you-lose-your-job-for-liking-something-on-facebook-123/
Some elderly gentleman was for some reason in the same room as me. No one else, just he and I. I was nervously hanging around, waiting to see if anything interesting would happen as a result of being alone with someone so much my senior - I'm thinking he must have been in his 70's, this man. I don't remember striking up a conversation with him, and I don't even remember if it was in context, but I clearly remember him passing on a tidbit of wisdom my way.
He said,
"You'll know you're getting old when it feels like a lot of the people you know or have known, are dead or dying."
Some days I feel really old.
Link of the Day: Check it out if you want, pass it by if you don't. Pass it along if you feel, but please, please don't be a heel.
http://www.learnvest.com/2012/05/can-you-lose-your-job-for-liking-something-on-facebook-123/
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Day 399: On Demons
I hear people say "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies
closer."
Which instantly makes me paranoid, like I hope they don't mean I'm an enemy & they're just letting me know where I stand in some weird way.
Then I turn introspective. I can't find personal context for that. Because for me to accept the idea of "keep your enemies closer" I have to understand the process of it.
So, in my mind, I'm envisioning how a person keeps his enemies closer: you have to identify someone as your enemy, your nemesis, a demon, as someone who is out to get you. You then have to learn enough about them to form a relationship with them. You have to actually follow through and form that relationship and be nice about it so they don't mind "keeping you close". Then you have to maintain that level of close relationship with that person who you don't like who you think is out to get you and who you really don't ever actually want to have in your life at all.
And let's face it: we all have these people in our lives at one time or another; these Demons.
And then you have to live with the lie that you are actively learning about and being nice to someone that you potentially wish you never knew in the first place.
I don't get it. I really don't get it. I mean, I understand the process, I guess I understand the goal, but...
I think this is so difficult for me to understand because my biggest demons are within me.
I have no choice but to keep them even closer than friends.
And I really, really REALLY wish that weren't the case.
Besides, I can deal with people I don't want to be around. I just walk away, or give the short answer and wait out the moments they've crossed my path. I have a complete disregard for negativity in my life. There's really so much of it around that I don't contend with the idea that keeping negative forces close to me in any capacity would or could be helpful to me in any way.
But I suppose I understand the people who do. I mean, fear makes us do very strange things. Fear and love both, right? Do you think if they were people, fear and love; do you think they'd be friends?
Link of the Day:
Look at it or don't, there's no need to criticize.
http://mashuavoiceforthevoiceless.blogspot.com/2012/01/10-year-old-girl-in-kenya-needs.html
Which instantly makes me paranoid, like I hope they don't mean I'm an enemy & they're just letting me know where I stand in some weird way.
Then I turn introspective. I can't find personal context for that. Because for me to accept the idea of "keep your enemies closer" I have to understand the process of it.
So, in my mind, I'm envisioning how a person keeps his enemies closer: you have to identify someone as your enemy, your nemesis, a demon, as someone who is out to get you. You then have to learn enough about them to form a relationship with them. You have to actually follow through and form that relationship and be nice about it so they don't mind "keeping you close". Then you have to maintain that level of close relationship with that person who you don't like who you think is out to get you and who you really don't ever actually want to have in your life at all.
And let's face it: we all have these people in our lives at one time or another; these Demons.
And then you have to live with the lie that you are actively learning about and being nice to someone that you potentially wish you never knew in the first place.
I don't get it. I really don't get it. I mean, I understand the process, I guess I understand the goal, but...
I think this is so difficult for me to understand because my biggest demons are within me.
I have no choice but to keep them even closer than friends.
And I really, really REALLY wish that weren't the case.
Besides, I can deal with people I don't want to be around. I just walk away, or give the short answer and wait out the moments they've crossed my path. I have a complete disregard for negativity in my life. There's really so much of it around that I don't contend with the idea that keeping negative forces close to me in any capacity would or could be helpful to me in any way.
But I suppose I understand the people who do. I mean, fear makes us do very strange things. Fear and love both, right? Do you think if they were people, fear and love; do you think they'd be friends?
Link of the Day:
Look at it or don't, there's no need to criticize.
http://mashuavoiceforthevoiceless.blogspot.com/2012/01/10-year-old-girl-in-kenya-needs.html
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Day 398: I almost stole today.
So Brendan and I like to go for drives.
We don't do it often, certainly not as often as we like. But driving around does give us a better perspective of where we live, what else lives around us, and great places to go for future picnics.
While out on our lovely drive in today's damp, warm and very very green afternoon, I was driving, and we came over a little bit of a knoll. As soon as we'd crested the small hill, I saw two little black dots running together, almost like they were one thing, but two lumps of one thing.
"AH! NO! GET OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU! YOU! Whaat arrrrrre those?" I asked Brendan as he stifled giggles at my screeching and swerving - huge overreactions.
Of course, I'm not stopping the car, because my fight or flight response at the time was saying flight, flight, flight. But we realize at just about the same time, that they were baby ducks!
Little brown/black baby ducks (or maybe geese) with tiny speckles. Two little baby ducks, running free on the road.
"Uh, I don't think THAT seems right." I said
Brendan agreed, I mean it IS strange to see little ducks, little baby ducks running around on their own. We decided they were either domesticated or their mother had met some terrible passing (possibly a car?), and that's why they were out running along, right on the road.
Not safe. Not cool.
"Maybe we should rescue them!"
I have to admit, I was deviously excited, hoping, just HOPING those cute little duckies needed to be rescued and thinking that home in my tub would be WAY better than out here on the road.
So, out Brendan got, with a box - how fortuitous that we had a box! I drove on ahead until I found a good place to turn around, then I hit those hazard lights and drove very slowly.
Imagine my disappointment when I realized Brendan was NOT catching the ducks and terrorizing them into a cardboard box.
Totally makes me giggle now.
"I think we scared them." He says.
I have to admit, I think so too - but I'm really happy we did scare them off the road.
We stood and watched them toddle together, like one thing made of two lumps, bouncing up the hill together, toward a house - a farm house with evident other animals. A safe house for ducks, domestic or wild and abandoned. I laughed at how cute they looked almost glued together like that, running away from us. I pictured an entire week of them at our home, in the tub, out of the tub, running from Mira, playing with Wombat. Oh, that was a fun week in my head - probably will always be a wonderful week in my head: those are the things that don't leave your head I hope.
So, yeah, we almost stole some baby ducks today.
Link of the Day: I hope it broadens you're focus, but that's not up to me.
http://www.mergerecords.com/artists/wild_flag
We don't do it often, certainly not as often as we like. But driving around does give us a better perspective of where we live, what else lives around us, and great places to go for future picnics.
While out on our lovely drive in today's damp, warm and very very green afternoon, I was driving, and we came over a little bit of a knoll. As soon as we'd crested the small hill, I saw two little black dots running together, almost like they were one thing, but two lumps of one thing.
"AH! NO! GET OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU! YOU! Whaat arrrrrre those?" I asked Brendan as he stifled giggles at my screeching and swerving - huge overreactions.
Of course, I'm not stopping the car, because my fight or flight response at the time was saying flight, flight, flight. But we realize at just about the same time, that they were baby ducks!
Little brown/black baby ducks (or maybe geese) with tiny speckles. Two little baby ducks, running free on the road.
"Uh, I don't think THAT seems right." I said
Brendan agreed, I mean it IS strange to see little ducks, little baby ducks running around on their own. We decided they were either domesticated or their mother had met some terrible passing (possibly a car?), and that's why they were out running along, right on the road.
Not safe. Not cool.
"Maybe we should rescue them!"
I have to admit, I was deviously excited, hoping, just HOPING those cute little duckies needed to be rescued and thinking that home in my tub would be WAY better than out here on the road.
So, out Brendan got, with a box - how fortuitous that we had a box! I drove on ahead until I found a good place to turn around, then I hit those hazard lights and drove very slowly.
Imagine my disappointment when I realized Brendan was NOT catching the ducks and terrorizing them into a cardboard box.
Totally makes me giggle now.
"I think we scared them." He says.
I have to admit, I think so too - but I'm really happy we did scare them off the road.
We stood and watched them toddle together, like one thing made of two lumps, bouncing up the hill together, toward a house - a farm house with evident other animals. A safe house for ducks, domestic or wild and abandoned. I laughed at how cute they looked almost glued together like that, running away from us. I pictured an entire week of them at our home, in the tub, out of the tub, running from Mira, playing with Wombat. Oh, that was a fun week in my head - probably will always be a wonderful week in my head: those are the things that don't leave your head I hope.
So, yeah, we almost stole some baby ducks today.
Link of the Day: I hope it broadens you're focus, but that's not up to me.
http://www.mergerecords.com/artists/wild_flag
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Day 396: Happy Mother's Day!
To all the Mom's out there - I don't care if you take care of a plant - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Today, I think, is the day that we are all mothers. We are all taking care of something, aren't we?
I see the single woman living by herself as the mother as much as the great grandmother of some insanely large family. Taking care of yourself is a full-time job! Taking care of yourself BY YOURSELF takes so much courage!
I just want to pay tribute to ALL the mothers out there - the literal and the figurative.
I love being the mother of a little girl named Mira. And even though I drove 2 hours, worked 7 hours, did laundry at the laundromat, cooked, cleaned, and had a very long day - I loved every minute of it.
For everyone who said "Happy Mother's Day" to someone - you should know that it really does make a girl feel acknowledged and special.
Brendan brought me flowers, a rare occasion that was completely fitting and lovely today.
And you know what?
Tomorrow, we'll all still be mothers, caring for everything we have the capacity to care for and loving the whole mess.
Link of the Day:
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/photos/mothers-love-gallery
Today, I think, is the day that we are all mothers. We are all taking care of something, aren't we?
I see the single woman living by herself as the mother as much as the great grandmother of some insanely large family. Taking care of yourself is a full-time job! Taking care of yourself BY YOURSELF takes so much courage!
I just want to pay tribute to ALL the mothers out there - the literal and the figurative.
I love being the mother of a little girl named Mira. And even though I drove 2 hours, worked 7 hours, did laundry at the laundromat, cooked, cleaned, and had a very long day - I loved every minute of it.
For everyone who said "Happy Mother's Day" to someone - you should know that it really does make a girl feel acknowledged and special.
Brendan brought me flowers, a rare occasion that was completely fitting and lovely today.
And you know what?
Tomorrow, we'll all still be mothers, caring for everything we have the capacity to care for and loving the whole mess.
Link of the Day:
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/photos/mothers-love-gallery
Friday, May 11, 2012
Day 394: Just givin props
Alright, well, I just thought I should give propers to the person who is responsible for making me see that I was getting lazy about the blog.
Except I can't actually say who it is because I'm pretty sure this person doesn't want to be mentioned. It sounds messy. But it isn't messy - this person just likes to remain low-key and really likes privacy.
So if I were to mention said person, I'm pretty sure that would go against his (or her) standards of privacy. Standards which I know very well about because I happen to be very good friends with this person.
It makes me happy to know people with such high standards.
Anyway, thank you friend, for being supportive and honest in a clear and positive way. I always appreciate honesty - but I really appreciate it more when it's positive and clear.
Link of the Day: Drink it with your brain, then leak it with your mouth. ( <<<~~~~~~ I don't know, I just wanted to be quirky & I think it just came out weird.)
http://timebanks.org/
Except I can't actually say who it is because I'm pretty sure this person doesn't want to be mentioned. It sounds messy. But it isn't messy - this person just likes to remain low-key and really likes privacy.
So if I were to mention said person, I'm pretty sure that would go against his (or her) standards of privacy. Standards which I know very well about because I happen to be very good friends with this person.
It makes me happy to know people with such high standards.
Anyway, thank you friend, for being supportive and honest in a clear and positive way. I always appreciate honesty - but I really appreciate it more when it's positive and clear.
Link of the Day: Drink it with your brain, then leak it with your mouth. ( <<<~~~~~~ I don't know, I just wanted to be quirky & I think it just came out weird.)
http://timebanks.org/
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Day 393: On simplifying
Hmmm, well. I guess I'm not very good at it... I think this is going to be one of those "work on it a little every day" kind of things.
Like a masterpiece!
Only possibly less important for humankind.
Speaking of masterpieces: it has come to my attention more in recent years than ever before in my life that art is not important to everyone. Some people just don't like it, get it, want to get it. Some people think it's a frivolous hobby for artists to paint, make things, write, create music, what have you.
I disagree.
Completely disagree.
I think that people who are artists (I being one of those people who like to 'create') NEED their crafts, they need to create. There is a bond between their brain and their hands that only works when the artist is creating something. Even if it's typing, or plucking madly at a banjo, or looking crazy with paint spatter all over and a brush in one hand with a clenched other hand and a universal "stranger in my thoughts" look in the eyes. For some people, this act of creating is directly linked to our brains and how we relate to the rest of the world.
I see the importance on the other side too. When I see art that speaks to me (like Robert Rauschenberg's Minutiae (1954) or Spread (1983), something happens in MY brain: the world suddenly makes more sense. And for someone who is constantly obsessing over making things make sense, I kind of have a direct NEED for art - I need things that make those connections for me, or that allow my brain to make the connections that let me make sense of things.
So when I, as I have recently, come to understand that some people don't have any reaction at all to art and are in fact even annoyed that it even exists, that people actually spend money on it and on perpetuating it through the generations (teaching kids about art), I actually don't understand it at all.
I don't understand not understanding art.
I don't understand the lack of need for art in any capacity.
Just because I have such a feeling of need for it.
And it really points out to me that even though we are all human and we all have wants and we all have needs - we are all so very different.
Which is perturbing, and it makes life very hard, and it's why I understand the hermit mentality. But it certainly does add color to the pallet of our lives.
Link of the Day: Just check it out - don't judge.
http://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/2012-04-05/jonah-lehrer-how-creativity-works
Like a masterpiece!
Only possibly less important for humankind.
Speaking of masterpieces: it has come to my attention more in recent years than ever before in my life that art is not important to everyone. Some people just don't like it, get it, want to get it. Some people think it's a frivolous hobby for artists to paint, make things, write, create music, what have you.
I disagree.
Completely disagree.
I think that people who are artists (I being one of those people who like to 'create') NEED their crafts, they need to create. There is a bond between their brain and their hands that only works when the artist is creating something. Even if it's typing, or plucking madly at a banjo, or looking crazy with paint spatter all over and a brush in one hand with a clenched other hand and a universal "stranger in my thoughts" look in the eyes. For some people, this act of creating is directly linked to our brains and how we relate to the rest of the world.
I see the importance on the other side too. When I see art that speaks to me (like Robert Rauschenberg's Minutiae (1954) or Spread (1983), something happens in MY brain: the world suddenly makes more sense. And for someone who is constantly obsessing over making things make sense, I kind of have a direct NEED for art - I need things that make those connections for me, or that allow my brain to make the connections that let me make sense of things.
So when I, as I have recently, come to understand that some people don't have any reaction at all to art and are in fact even annoyed that it even exists, that people actually spend money on it and on perpetuating it through the generations (teaching kids about art), I actually don't understand it at all.
I don't understand not understanding art.
I don't understand the lack of need for art in any capacity.
Just because I have such a feeling of need for it.
And it really points out to me that even though we are all human and we all have wants and we all have needs - we are all so very different.
Which is perturbing, and it makes life very hard, and it's why I understand the hermit mentality. But it certainly does add color to the pallet of our lives.
Link of the Day: Just check it out - don't judge.
http://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/2012-04-05/jonah-lehrer-how-creativity-works
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Day 392: Just One
Just One. One is the loneliest number. ONE! It's just the smallest increment of measurement! It's not a big deal, right? RIGHT?
Uh
Hmmm
Wellllllll.
Maybe it is a big deal.
Here's the thing: I didn't write my blog for ONE day. Which turned into two, which turned into 4, and now here I am doing something for the first time in 4 days - something I'm striving to do EVERY DAY.
And that's not the only thing.
It's like cleaning - you leave one dish, just ONE dish, and the dang thing breeds in the sink & pretty soon you've got you're whole sink full, and it smells, and you're ashamed, and there you are, washing your dishes all ashamed for half an hour. Boohoo, but it's your own fault: you let that one sit, and it turned into many.
Or it's like eating healthy. I'm trying to eat healthy. I'm still trying to lose weight from my pregnancy almost two years ago! Plus, just eating healthy is, well, it's just healthy. But I have what some might call a food addiction. I just love food. I think about food all the time. I want food all the time. I heard about some study somewhere that people who think about food a lot are about 20% heavier than 'normal' people. Which didn't make me feel any better - how am I supposed to change those brainwaves? I don't know, but that's off topic. Back to the ONE. So yeah, I try to eat healthy: no processed, microwaved, crappy hydrolyzed anything added, no CRAP! But then I'll justify eating one thing, just ONE thing: Oh, I'm hungry, I can eat this boxed cookie, it'll be fine. Except that it's never fine, then I'm eating any old thing that comes my way AND stopping on my way home to pick up a cold cappucino drink with who knows what's in that. And let me tell you - when I'm eating real food for two weeks, I start trimming down and my depression is much easier to manage (by the way anyone wanting to not take medication for depression: diet, exercise and VITAMIN D in liquid form - try it, you'll like it). But it's all just like that stupid chip bag says:
"Bet you can't eat just one"
Taunters
Damn taudry taunters!
NO! I CAN'T! I CAN'T JUST EAT ONE!
I'll eat several! And my body doesn't process foods like it used to, so then I'll be bloated from the salt and gain weight from the oil - and I won't get enough nutrition from the potatoe to make any difference at all.
Does that make you happy?!?
Bet you can't eat just one.
Alright, I know they're not trying to mock me or taunt me, but listen, it really does taunt me - think I don't know I can't eat just one? I know that! So I just better stick to Zero. Big fat ZERO, my pal the goose egg, zero, my hero. If I keep it all at none, than I have none to worry about and none to justify the next 15 or more.
Hope you liked the rant.
Link of the day:
Disclaimer - these are just tidbits I want to share in case someone else wants to add a little "huh" or "hmmm" or "oh, I never thought of that" to their day.
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
Uh
Hmmm
Wellllllll.
Maybe it is a big deal.
Here's the thing: I didn't write my blog for ONE day. Which turned into two, which turned into 4, and now here I am doing something for the first time in 4 days - something I'm striving to do EVERY DAY.
And that's not the only thing.
It's like cleaning - you leave one dish, just ONE dish, and the dang thing breeds in the sink & pretty soon you've got you're whole sink full, and it smells, and you're ashamed, and there you are, washing your dishes all ashamed for half an hour. Boohoo, but it's your own fault: you let that one sit, and it turned into many.
Or it's like eating healthy. I'm trying to eat healthy. I'm still trying to lose weight from my pregnancy almost two years ago! Plus, just eating healthy is, well, it's just healthy. But I have what some might call a food addiction. I just love food. I think about food all the time. I want food all the time. I heard about some study somewhere that people who think about food a lot are about 20% heavier than 'normal' people. Which didn't make me feel any better - how am I supposed to change those brainwaves? I don't know, but that's off topic. Back to the ONE. So yeah, I try to eat healthy: no processed, microwaved, crappy hydrolyzed anything added, no CRAP! But then I'll justify eating one thing, just ONE thing: Oh, I'm hungry, I can eat this boxed cookie, it'll be fine. Except that it's never fine, then I'm eating any old thing that comes my way AND stopping on my way home to pick up a cold cappucino drink with who knows what's in that. And let me tell you - when I'm eating real food for two weeks, I start trimming down and my depression is much easier to manage (by the way anyone wanting to not take medication for depression: diet, exercise and VITAMIN D in liquid form - try it, you'll like it). But it's all just like that stupid chip bag says:
"Bet you can't eat just one"
Taunters
Damn taudry taunters!
NO! I CAN'T! I CAN'T JUST EAT ONE!
I'll eat several! And my body doesn't process foods like it used to, so then I'll be bloated from the salt and gain weight from the oil - and I won't get enough nutrition from the potatoe to make any difference at all.
Does that make you happy?!?
Bet you can't eat just one.
Alright, I know they're not trying to mock me or taunt me, but listen, it really does taunt me - think I don't know I can't eat just one? I know that! So I just better stick to Zero. Big fat ZERO, my pal the goose egg, zero, my hero. If I keep it all at none, than I have none to worry about and none to justify the next 15 or more.
Hope you liked the rant.
Link of the day:
Disclaimer - these are just tidbits I want to share in case someone else wants to add a little "huh" or "hmmm" or "oh, I never thought of that" to their day.
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Day 388: Sharing is Caring
All I have to say today is that sometimes on my drive home from work I think about: ugh, what a long day; wow, what a really long day; I'm tired, it feels good to be tired and know I just got paid to get this tired; I can't wait to see my babygirl; it sure is beautiful here in upstate, NY; I wish this car would stop following me so closely - I mean, there IS another lane; am I lucky enough to have this life? I'm a good person, right? Yeah, I'm pretty alright, I guess. I mean, right? Yeah, I am. I think so anyway. Is it awful that I think I'm good enough for my life?
Nah.
Or is it?
I don't think so... if I say so myself.
I gotta get out of my head more often.
Well, that's what I thought about on my drive home today anyway - for almost the entire hour - and it definitely wasn't a first time event.
Cheers, love and all that jazz.
Link of the Day:
http://artelectronicmedia.com/artwork/interactive-plant-growing
Nah.
Or is it?
I don't think so... if I say so myself.
I gotta get out of my head more often.
Well, that's what I thought about on my drive home today anyway - for almost the entire hour - and it definitely wasn't a first time event.
Cheers, love and all that jazz.
Link of the Day:
http://artelectronicmedia.com/artwork/interactive-plant-growing
Friday, May 4, 2012
Day 387: CSA anyone?
During pregnancy, along with all the physical, hormonal, emotional and life changes, I made endless efforts to get healthier.
I'm not an expert, not by a long shot, and I'd still rather go camping with the bears than work out.
But.
I did find out a LOT about our American food, and our American food system.
It was pretty shocking.
Most of those apple pies your buying instead of making are riddled with chemicals designed in a lab that are mysteriously "just fine" for human consumption - without evidence to back it up (and in some cases, with scientists getting fired when they find during studies that many of these chemicals and processes make rats very sick). Meanwhile the cancer, obesity, heart disease, well, you name it and it's on the rise. And these are food related disorders. I think, sure, we eat a lot more than we need to as Americans, but mostly, we eat crap. Total crap. I'm talking anti-freeze in your ice cream, I'm talking manufactured (not in any way grown) blueberries in your cute little muffins, I'm talking ammonia washed meat in your burger, I'm talking petroleum based food packaging. I could go on.
But I won't.
Because it's not really what I wanted to write about today.
All that stuff is just the precursor.
So you know why I eat like a 'freak', as has been mentioned to me here and there when I'm caught eating my cut fruit that I cut myself and put in my little glass container instead of buying the prepackaged little plastic containers of processed fruit.
I am the proud participant of a CSA in my area.
And I love it.
I paid a subscription fee up front, though some are set up so that you just pay a weekly fee for a particular amount of product.
Anyway, so I paid an up front fee which gets me what ever I want that my farmer has available whenever I want it. During the winter it was only meat, a few eggs here and there, honey and some pretty amazing apple cider vinegar. I can't wait for the plant harvest though.
So some things I noticed about the meat: it tastes like real meat. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just go buy your regular meat, then buy one single pound of grass fed 'organic' meat. Make burgers out of each, and see what you think of the difference. I was totally shocked. I didn't think there should be such a difference, so I looked it up to see what other people were saying, and I read, heard all the same things I was thinking.
Amazing what a little grazing on unfertilized lawns will do for the meat of a cow or a lamb.
And the lamb is more amazing than I ever thought. I had a bad experience with regular store bought lamb once a while ago and thought all lamb was an acquired taste and just EWWWW. But, as it turns out, it's just all in the way the dang lamb was raised!
I think we have such a separation from the ideas of where our food comes from that we can't even imagine that the processes in which it is raised would make such a huge difference in the way they taste when we've bought them from the supermarket then cooked them at home.
Oh, and a CSA is "Consumer Supported Agriculture", so it is where you, the consumer has a direct product to purchase relationship with the farmer. No middle man, no extra rules or fees for either you or the farmer. In most cases, you can tour the farm and in every case, you can ask the farmer anything you want about his/her processes. This is a truly great way to get pure products and keep our American farmers sustained financially and within their community. It isn't that difficult to find them, you just have to look and make a few phone calls or send a few emails. After that, it's easy and completely rewarding.
In some cases, I've heard of people buying part of a dairy cow so they can have some of the raw milk produced by the cow. This is one way of getting around all the governmental red tape that hovers over the milk industry - it is also another example of direct product to purchase relationships.
Just something to think about.
Link of the day. This time I'm going with more than one.
http://www.nectarhillsfarm.com/
http://bigskyfarm.org/
http://www.gaiasbreathfarm.com/
http://www.foxfallsfarm.com/index.html
http://www.otsego2000.org/farmersmarket/
I'm not an expert, not by a long shot, and I'd still rather go camping with the bears than work out.
But.
I did find out a LOT about our American food, and our American food system.
It was pretty shocking.
Most of those apple pies your buying instead of making are riddled with chemicals designed in a lab that are mysteriously "just fine" for human consumption - without evidence to back it up (and in some cases, with scientists getting fired when they find during studies that many of these chemicals and processes make rats very sick). Meanwhile the cancer, obesity, heart disease, well, you name it and it's on the rise. And these are food related disorders. I think, sure, we eat a lot more than we need to as Americans, but mostly, we eat crap. Total crap. I'm talking anti-freeze in your ice cream, I'm talking manufactured (not in any way grown) blueberries in your cute little muffins, I'm talking ammonia washed meat in your burger, I'm talking petroleum based food packaging. I could go on.
But I won't.
Because it's not really what I wanted to write about today.
All that stuff is just the precursor.
So you know why I eat like a 'freak', as has been mentioned to me here and there when I'm caught eating my cut fruit that I cut myself and put in my little glass container instead of buying the prepackaged little plastic containers of processed fruit.
I am the proud participant of a CSA in my area.
And I love it.
I paid a subscription fee up front, though some are set up so that you just pay a weekly fee for a particular amount of product.
Anyway, so I paid an up front fee which gets me what ever I want that my farmer has available whenever I want it. During the winter it was only meat, a few eggs here and there, honey and some pretty amazing apple cider vinegar. I can't wait for the plant harvest though.
So some things I noticed about the meat: it tastes like real meat. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just go buy your regular meat, then buy one single pound of grass fed 'organic' meat. Make burgers out of each, and see what you think of the difference. I was totally shocked. I didn't think there should be such a difference, so I looked it up to see what other people were saying, and I read, heard all the same things I was thinking.
Amazing what a little grazing on unfertilized lawns will do for the meat of a cow or a lamb.
And the lamb is more amazing than I ever thought. I had a bad experience with regular store bought lamb once a while ago and thought all lamb was an acquired taste and just EWWWW. But, as it turns out, it's just all in the way the dang lamb was raised!
I think we have such a separation from the ideas of where our food comes from that we can't even imagine that the processes in which it is raised would make such a huge difference in the way they taste when we've bought them from the supermarket then cooked them at home.
Oh, and a CSA is "Consumer Supported Agriculture", so it is where you, the consumer has a direct product to purchase relationship with the farmer. No middle man, no extra rules or fees for either you or the farmer. In most cases, you can tour the farm and in every case, you can ask the farmer anything you want about his/her processes. This is a truly great way to get pure products and keep our American farmers sustained financially and within their community. It isn't that difficult to find them, you just have to look and make a few phone calls or send a few emails. After that, it's easy and completely rewarding.
In some cases, I've heard of people buying part of a dairy cow so they can have some of the raw milk produced by the cow. This is one way of getting around all the governmental red tape that hovers over the milk industry - it is also another example of direct product to purchase relationships.
Just something to think about.
Link of the day. This time I'm going with more than one.
http://www.nectarhillsfarm.com/
http://bigskyfarm.org/
http://www.gaiasbreathfarm.com/
http://www.foxfallsfarm.com/index.html
http://www.otsego2000.org/farmersmarket/
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Day 386 : Simplification isn't that easy
I've noticed in the last few months I walk around feeling my pockets. For several reasons. Sometimes it's because I have no idea what I'm doing and I think that if I check my pockets I'll find some clues as to where I'm going or what I'm doing that day. Sometimes it's because I feel like I'm missing something and even though I don't know what it is I think I might find it in my pocket.
I never do.
Honestly I think it's because I don't know what the hell it is I think I might be missing.
I think all this pocket fondling is due to over complication of life. Life is already complicated, but those of you who know me well know that I just never stop. I sign myself up for everything. I went from having 3 jobs to having a family and I have no idea how to make the transition. The transition just sort of happened and I've been walking around just trying to do all the stuff you have to do when your life changes from busy single crazy female to mom extraordinaire grasping at straws to feel fulfilled outside of motherhood.
What I've found is that signing up for everything that I care about or that I want to help with only leaves me feeling overwhelmed, over complicated and constantly confused.
Great.
Oh, and I'm also not fulfilling many of my actual goals, goals I set for myself before any of this other outside shit presented itself.
So now I'm trying to simplify.
And it makes me feel guilty. But I felt guilty anyway. I just can't ever seem to do enough. It's never enough.
But I really dislike the disorientation and the feeling around of the pockets thing just makes me feel like a weirdo. Seriously.
So now I'm removing a lot of things from my home, I'm not saying yes to everything, and I'm trying to just have a little fun here and there. I will say, though, that simplifying your life is really really really hard. And complicated. But I totally recommend it.
Cheers to you, and your over complicated and lovely life.
Link of the day: Just hoping something enriches your life without adding any clutter:
http://maurastephens.blogspot.com/2012/01/american-lung-association-in-bed-with.html
I never do.
Honestly I think it's because I don't know what the hell it is I think I might be missing.
I think all this pocket fondling is due to over complication of life. Life is already complicated, but those of you who know me well know that I just never stop. I sign myself up for everything. I went from having 3 jobs to having a family and I have no idea how to make the transition. The transition just sort of happened and I've been walking around just trying to do all the stuff you have to do when your life changes from busy single crazy female to mom extraordinaire grasping at straws to feel fulfilled outside of motherhood.
What I've found is that signing up for everything that I care about or that I want to help with only leaves me feeling overwhelmed, over complicated and constantly confused.
Great.
Oh, and I'm also not fulfilling many of my actual goals, goals I set for myself before any of this other outside shit presented itself.
So now I'm trying to simplify.
And it makes me feel guilty. But I felt guilty anyway. I just can't ever seem to do enough. It's never enough.
But I really dislike the disorientation and the feeling around of the pockets thing just makes me feel like a weirdo. Seriously.
So now I'm removing a lot of things from my home, I'm not saying yes to everything, and I'm trying to just have a little fun here and there. I will say, though, that simplifying your life is really really really hard. And complicated. But I totally recommend it.
Cheers to you, and your over complicated and lovely life.
Link of the day: Just hoping something enriches your life without adding any clutter:
http://maurastephens.blogspot.com/2012/01/american-lung-association-in-bed-with.html
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Day 312: What it sounds like
Holy moly, I just love being a mother. Whatever and everything that entails: I love it. Even when my daughter has been a little poo flinger and I'm disturbed and disgusted and scared that we're all going to get sick if one little speck gets missed in the cleanup: I love it.
My favorite part?
There are several of those.
Yep!
Several.
I love it when she knows she's done something bad and she tries to get out of the negative consequenses by looking up at you after you say a stern "NO!" and saying a sweet "Hieeee!" in rebuttal. As hard as you might try: you'll giggle despite your intense need to stay strong.
I love it when she's all angry at being in the carseat or whatever and she's skreeching her little "Eeeeeek!"s, and you play a little peek-a-boo with her and those skreeches turn into giggles in 20seconds flat.
I love it when I go to check on her because she's been quiet for just long enough to be getting into trouble, and I find her quietly sitting and "reading" a book: turning the pages and studying each one before turning to the next.
I love it when I see her go to attempt something new, something I just know she cannot do, but I let her try anyway because that is the only way she will ever learn for herself how to do things: and he blows my mind by being completely successful.
I love it when she is participating in self play and suddenly bursts into song or a random string of words she knows: "MIMI! MIMI! MIMI!" (translation: that is her name) "Mmmmmah!" (translation: kiss and milk) "Alilililililigadew" (translation: alligator) "Bee!" (translation: the letter "b", and bear) "Abidad" (translation: Wombat - our cat's name) "Eeowwww" (translation: meow) "Duck" (translation: duck or dog) "Wow!" (translation: wow) "No" (translation: no) "Iiiiita-iiiiiita-iiiiiitabateeee, aaaaaaaaaaaay!" (translation: the itsy-bitsy spider song)
I think my favorite thing that she does this week is when she says her name over and over and over again while shaking her head "no". So funny. And it also lets me know that she is paying attention to when she is being told "no". I hope the action leaves a bigger impression than the "no", but that remains to be seen.
And she had her first REAL time out time today... A full 5 minutes in a chair, facing the wall. She hated it. I hope she learned something. I hope it wasn't just an unpleasant experience.... I guess that remains to be seen as well!
And
Now
For
The
Link of the Day!
Not to shove anything in your face, not to say I know a lot and you should know the same things. Just a little sharing of my life experiences through links I randomly find on this here internet. I hope you get something out of them:
http://www.jointhereboot.com/index.php?option=com_zoo&view=category&layout=category&Itemid=695&lang=en
My favorite part?
There are several of those.
Yep!
Several.
I love it when she knows she's done something bad and she tries to get out of the negative consequenses by looking up at you after you say a stern "NO!" and saying a sweet "Hieeee!" in rebuttal. As hard as you might try: you'll giggle despite your intense need to stay strong.
I love it when she's all angry at being in the carseat or whatever and she's skreeching her little "Eeeeeek!"s, and you play a little peek-a-boo with her and those skreeches turn into giggles in 20seconds flat.
I love it when I go to check on her because she's been quiet for just long enough to be getting into trouble, and I find her quietly sitting and "reading" a book: turning the pages and studying each one before turning to the next.
I love it when I see her go to attempt something new, something I just know she cannot do, but I let her try anyway because that is the only way she will ever learn for herself how to do things: and he blows my mind by being completely successful.
I love it when she is participating in self play and suddenly bursts into song or a random string of words she knows: "MIMI! MIMI! MIMI!" (translation: that is her name) "Mmmmmah!" (translation: kiss and milk) "Alilililililigadew" (translation: alligator) "Bee!" (translation: the letter "b", and bear) "Abidad" (translation: Wombat - our cat's name) "Eeowwww" (translation: meow) "Duck" (translation: duck or dog) "Wow!" (translation: wow) "No" (translation: no) "Iiiiita-iiiiiita-iiiiiitabateeee, aaaaaaaaaaaay!" (translation: the itsy-bitsy spider song)
I think my favorite thing that she does this week is when she says her name over and over and over again while shaking her head "no". So funny. And it also lets me know that she is paying attention to when she is being told "no". I hope the action leaves a bigger impression than the "no", but that remains to be seen.
And she had her first REAL time out time today... A full 5 minutes in a chair, facing the wall. She hated it. I hope she learned something. I hope it wasn't just an unpleasant experience.... I guess that remains to be seen as well!
And
Now
For
The
Link of the Day!
Not to shove anything in your face, not to say I know a lot and you should know the same things. Just a little sharing of my life experiences through links I randomly find on this here internet. I hope you get something out of them:
http://www.jointhereboot.com/index.php?option=com_zoo&view=category&layout=category&Itemid=695&lang=en
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Day 307: True to Form, I am now sleep deprived.
It's no secret: I've never really slept well.
But add the excitement of a family holiday, and it's a useless endeavor.
Don't get me wrong, I'm used to running for long periods of time on little to no sleep. The biggest setback on this spectacular occasion is that I have only slept about an hour since 8:30pm day before last. Meh, oh well, I'm too excited to care and really, I have too much to do if we're going to leave on time.
We are going on a little trip!
To our nation's capitol!
I've never been, and I'm SO excited! It's not that big of a deal, just two days away in a place known around the world for shady backroom deals, worldwide heroes, runaway dreams, and squashed honest good for the love of money. I guess that's one way of looking at it anyway. Another thing to think about is the many, many, MANY museums, the architectural landscape, the grungy underscene of the day to day life in a big government town where people still run the CVS, walk their bad dog, and fight with their sister. I want to see it all, but I know the two days will fly by like nothing and we'll be waiting until the next time we have a bit of a chance to get back there. Already I can't wait: that might be the sleep deprivation talking though.
Anyway, I must be off!
There are wraps to roll!
There is a cooler in this house somewhere and that puppy needs to get to the car!
Plus I want to make us some nice breakfast sandwiches with the lovely local grass fed beef breakfast sausage, the certified humane cage free vegetarian fed chicken eggs and some classic nooks and crannies from Thomas's English Muffins. YUM! And socially responsible!
Did you know they make a mexican flavored dogfood? Yeah. BlahbityBlah Fiesta! The only thing I saw that was remotely Latino was the avocado..... Not a great idea, that one.
Anywhat.
Link of the Day:
Listen, I don't post these links as to say "Hey! I know everything and here's a little tidbit to prove it!" And I also don't post them to say "Wow, look at this link: this is the be all end all of everything that is important and smart and wonderful." I do post them hoping that you get something out of it. Please enjoy, and I genuinely hope you do.
http://www.karmatube.org/index.php
But add the excitement of a family holiday, and it's a useless endeavor.
Don't get me wrong, I'm used to running for long periods of time on little to no sleep. The biggest setback on this spectacular occasion is that I have only slept about an hour since 8:30pm day before last. Meh, oh well, I'm too excited to care and really, I have too much to do if we're going to leave on time.
We are going on a little trip!
To our nation's capitol!
I've never been, and I'm SO excited! It's not that big of a deal, just two days away in a place known around the world for shady backroom deals, worldwide heroes, runaway dreams, and squashed honest good for the love of money. I guess that's one way of looking at it anyway. Another thing to think about is the many, many, MANY museums, the architectural landscape, the grungy underscene of the day to day life in a big government town where people still run the CVS, walk their bad dog, and fight with their sister. I want to see it all, but I know the two days will fly by like nothing and we'll be waiting until the next time we have a bit of a chance to get back there. Already I can't wait: that might be the sleep deprivation talking though.
Anyway, I must be off!
There are wraps to roll!
There is a cooler in this house somewhere and that puppy needs to get to the car!
Plus I want to make us some nice breakfast sandwiches with the lovely local grass fed beef breakfast sausage, the certified humane cage free vegetarian fed chicken eggs and some classic nooks and crannies from Thomas's English Muffins. YUM! And socially responsible!
Did you know they make a mexican flavored dogfood? Yeah. BlahbityBlah Fiesta! The only thing I saw that was remotely Latino was the avocado..... Not a great idea, that one.
Anywhat.
Link of the Day:
Listen, I don't post these links as to say "Hey! I know everything and here's a little tidbit to prove it!" And I also don't post them to say "Wow, look at this link: this is the be all end all of everything that is important and smart and wonderful." I do post them hoping that you get something out of it. Please enjoy, and I genuinely hope you do.
http://www.karmatube.org/index.php
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Day 293: For Shame, For Shame
You ever felt ashamed?
Sure you have, you can admit it.
At least I'm telling you that you can admit it because I'm about to.
Not about big stuff, just about little stuff - I'll leave my big stuff in my closet and you can do whatever you want with yours. I'm keeping it a bit light for the sake of conversation.
But yeah, I mean little stuff, like:
-If you're on a diet with excercise trying to lose weight, and you opt in for the butter on your muffin (sweetened with applesauce, of course!)
-You offer your daughter a blue crayon when she can't decide what color to start with even though you secretly want to hand her the pink one "because pink is for girls" and that's the one you would want to start with if you were her
-You go out for shopping or laundry or another errand and you enjoy your time away from your family (Don't worry, I always want to come back, but believe me, I'm savoring the time outside)
-Your partner asks you if you have any cash and you say no even though you know you have at least $2 cash money in your pocket right then (oh, come on, I know you've done that too - it's only $2!)
-You try to think of ways of getting around answering a question or explaining something in detail to your very young child even though you generally pride yourself on talking to her like a "normal person".
-You told yourself you were going to do 3 sets of your workout routine today but you only did one (or none)
I think you see what I mean. This wasn't intended to be confession time. I just wanted to throw it out there - all that shame. It's all over little stuff - don't sweat the small stuff , yeah , I get it, but let me tell ya: all that small stuff adds up sometimes!
So, you just keep sweating the small stuff, but don't give it more sweat than it's worth. At least I'll try if I know you're out there doing the same thing. Besides, we all have stuff to be plenty proud of to overshadow that little creeping shame.
Cheers to you and all that awesome stuff you do.
I'm going to go look for some healthy and delicious recipes.
Link of the day:
I'm not all knowledgeable, and I know that - I don't mean to suggest that the links I post ARE either. I do hope you like them and that your wealth of knowledge is even the slightest increased by each.
http://www.politicalcompass.org/test (<- Try it out, just for kicks)
Sure you have, you can admit it.
At least I'm telling you that you can admit it because I'm about to.
Not about big stuff, just about little stuff - I'll leave my big stuff in my closet and you can do whatever you want with yours. I'm keeping it a bit light for the sake of conversation.
But yeah, I mean little stuff, like:
-If you're on a diet with excercise trying to lose weight, and you opt in for the butter on your muffin (sweetened with applesauce, of course!)
-You offer your daughter a blue crayon when she can't decide what color to start with even though you secretly want to hand her the pink one "because pink is for girls" and that's the one you would want to start with if you were her
-You go out for shopping or laundry or another errand and you enjoy your time away from your family (Don't worry, I always want to come back, but believe me, I'm savoring the time outside)
-Your partner asks you if you have any cash and you say no even though you know you have at least $2 cash money in your pocket right then (oh, come on, I know you've done that too - it's only $2!)
-You try to think of ways of getting around answering a question or explaining something in detail to your very young child even though you generally pride yourself on talking to her like a "normal person".
-You told yourself you were going to do 3 sets of your workout routine today but you only did one (or none)
I think you see what I mean. This wasn't intended to be confession time. I just wanted to throw it out there - all that shame. It's all over little stuff - don't sweat the small stuff , yeah , I get it, but let me tell ya: all that small stuff adds up sometimes!
So, you just keep sweating the small stuff, but don't give it more sweat than it's worth. At least I'll try if I know you're out there doing the same thing. Besides, we all have stuff to be plenty proud of to overshadow that little creeping shame.
Cheers to you and all that awesome stuff you do.
I'm going to go look for some healthy and delicious recipes.
Link of the day:
I'm not all knowledgeable, and I know that - I don't mean to suggest that the links I post ARE either. I do hope you like them and that your wealth of knowledge is even the slightest increased by each.
http://www.politicalcompass.org/test (<- Try it out, just for kicks)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Day 286: Sweet stuff and look over the bluff
So, in the interest of learning exactly what is in my food, I have taken to task trying to learn exactly how I can make things at home. I feel like being able to make my own food will shed some light on what ingredients are supposed to look like as opposed to manufactured food where chemicals replace real food ingredients. I have already learned to make my own soda pop and learned that it does not need to contain high fructose corn syrup nor does it need to contain any preservatives if I make it at home.
In the interest of shedding some light on this, I will share instructions on how to make your own Ginger Beer, Ginger Ale or whatever you prefer to call it:
First, you need to know the basic recipe for simple syrup. Simple syrup is one of the most basic ingredients for a lot of sweet beverages like soda pop, shakes, smoothies, snow cones. I think you get the picture.
To make a simple syrup you simply need to combine 2parts sugar to 1part water, heat until the sugar is dissolved completely. Done. Most often it is easiest to make in batches using the 8oz "cup" measurement, so I will be using this increment in my following description.
-Skin your ginger root (just take a knife and either scrape that crusty skin off or cut it off, whichever method you prefer)
-Slice it into very thin disks (very thin being thinner than a nickel)
-Mottle (which basically means take a blunt object and smash the bejezums out of it til it's good and squished so that you release the flavors locked inside the cell walls of the fruit, herb or spice)
-Place in a pan on your stove
-Add 1cup water
-Simmer (or heat on very low heat, just enough so that it is to warm to touch for very long) for about half an hour (which will make your house smell awesome)
-Strain (some people like to leave the chunks in, but most people want a smooth syrup. Also: a chunkless syrup will keep in your refrigerator longer than one that has food particles in it) with a cheese cloth lined strainer (you can keep all the strained out pieces for breads, jams or ice cream topping)
-Pour liquid into a measuring cup and make sure you are still at 1cup (add water to make up the difference if you are not - the longer you simmer the more concentrated your flavor but also the more water you lose, if you are leaving the chunks in you can skip this step)
-Release the 1cup of now flavored liquid back into the pan on the stove
-Add 2c sugar
-Simmer until sugar is completely dissolved (5-10min) and has reached an evenly distributed texture (you will have to stir very frequently or even constantly)
-Defrost (yeah, I know, but just trust me, it makes all the difference)
-Mottle (or take a blunt object and smash the bejezums out of it til it's complete mush)
-Throw in a pan on the stove (because you are going to have to heat it)
-Add 1cup water
-Simmer for at least half an hour
-Strain through a metal strainer lined with a cheese cloth (or you CAN leave the chunks in if you want just keep the chunks for other recipes, for jams or for topping ice cream with)
-Put the liquid into a measuring cup and add water until you are back at 1cup (if you are a bit over a cup, don't pour any out! Just add twice the difference in sugar! - Also, if you are LEAVING THE CHUNKS IN - you can skip this step completely)
-Add 2cups sugar (do you see the pattern here?)
-Simmer and stir until the sugar is completely dissolved and the liquid has a uniform texture
-Remove from heat and let cool
-Chop and mottle (just take a knife and a cutting board and go to town then toss it in a bowl and smash the everlovin bejezums out of it until all of your feelings of aggression for the world have gone)
-Put in a pan (do you see where this is going?)
-Add 1cup water
-Simmer very low (herbs are less tolerant of heat) for at least half an hour (oh, man is it going to smell amazing!)
-Strain (if you want to, but with herbs it's not really necessary) through a cheese cloth lined metal strainer
-Return liquid to pan (or if you aren't straining just go to the next step)
-Add 2cups of sugar
-Simmer and stir for 5-10minutes or until sugar is completely dissolved and the liquid has a completely uniform texture
-Viola!
-Cut the rest of the skin away from the fruit and cut wedges from the meat of the fruit (you want to avoid any and all of the membranes around each fruit: they add bitterness)
-Put in a pan (NO MOTTLING NECESSARY)
-Add 1c water
-Simmer for at least 30minutes
-Strain (or don't) through a cheese cloth lined strainer (save the fruit chunks for other recipes or for topping with ice cream; save the zest pieces and candy them by adding them back to the liquid for the sugar addition, then remove from the liquid)
-Add liquid (and zest if you want to candy your zest) back to the pan
-Add 2c sugar
-Simmer and stir for 5-10 minutes until sugar is completely dissolved and uniform in texture
-If you've candied your zest (which is not a euphamism) you should remove it and reserve for an edible garnish to beverages or to other dishes (candied orange zest is pretty delicious if chopped and added to a salty or spicy stir fry)
You can make homemade snowcones with your syrup: just shave or grate your ice, pack it into the shape you like (but you do have to pack it) then drizzle on the syrup until all the ice has been touched by your amazing creation!
You can mix your syrups together: 1T (<-that means a Tablespoon) strawberry syrup with 1tsp (<-that means a teaspoon) basil syrup and add to soda water or shaved ice and you have and experience, not just a tasty treat!
Most syrups (because of their very sugary nature) will keep in the fridge for quite a while. Trust me, you'll know when it goes bad - and put a lid on it for sure: this sugary substance will inherit the flavors of everything your fridge has to offer including stale air.
And Finally:
Link of the Day: I don't think I know it all and I certainly don't think anyone else does either - least of all the people responsible for the links I add here. I just want to spread the wealth of knowledge that other things are possible in this life, and I hope you can get even a little squeeze of something out of it.
http://projectcamelotportal.com/
In the interest of shedding some light on this, I will share instructions on how to make your own Ginger Beer, Ginger Ale or whatever you prefer to call it:
First, you need to know the basic recipe for simple syrup. Simple syrup is one of the most basic ingredients for a lot of sweet beverages like soda pop, shakes, smoothies, snow cones. I think you get the picture.
To make a simple syrup you simply need to combine 2parts sugar to 1part water, heat until the sugar is dissolved completely. Done. Most often it is easiest to make in batches using the 8oz "cup" measurement, so I will be using this increment in my following description.
TO MAKE A GINGER SYRUP:
(we'll make an example out of ginger first, then I will give you clues to making other flavored syrups)-Skin your ginger root (just take a knife and either scrape that crusty skin off or cut it off, whichever method you prefer)
-Slice it into very thin disks (very thin being thinner than a nickel)
-Mottle (which basically means take a blunt object and smash the bejezums out of it til it's good and squished so that you release the flavors locked inside the cell walls of the fruit, herb or spice)
-Place in a pan on your stove
-Add 1cup water
-Simmer (or heat on very low heat, just enough so that it is to warm to touch for very long) for about half an hour (which will make your house smell awesome)
-Strain (some people like to leave the chunks in, but most people want a smooth syrup. Also: a chunkless syrup will keep in your refrigerator longer than one that has food particles in it) with a cheese cloth lined strainer (you can keep all the strained out pieces for breads, jams or ice cream topping)
-Pour liquid into a measuring cup and make sure you are still at 1cup (add water to make up the difference if you are not - the longer you simmer the more concentrated your flavor but also the more water you lose, if you are leaving the chunks in you can skip this step)
-Release the 1cup of now flavored liquid back into the pan on the stove
-Add 2c sugar
-Simmer until sugar is completely dissolved (5-10min) and has reached an evenly distributed texture (you will have to stir very frequently or even constantly)
TO MAKE SODA POP WITH SAID SYRUP:
-Add your completely homemade syrup to tonic water or soda water (there are machines you can buy that will add carbon bubbles to water if you want to invest in one of those). Usually 1Tablespoon to 8oz of soda water, but feel free to add more if you like your soda pop sweeter.TO MAKE A FRUIT SYRUP:
-Freeze your fruit or start with frozen fruit (freezing fruit begins the cell break down process and also enhances the sweet flavor of your fruit) Avoid seeds when possible.-Defrost (yeah, I know, but just trust me, it makes all the difference)
-Mottle (or take a blunt object and smash the bejezums out of it til it's complete mush)
-Throw in a pan on the stove (because you are going to have to heat it)
-Add 1cup water
-Simmer for at least half an hour
-Strain through a metal strainer lined with a cheese cloth (or you CAN leave the chunks in if you want just keep the chunks for other recipes, for jams or for topping ice cream with)
-Put the liquid into a measuring cup and add water until you are back at 1cup (if you are a bit over a cup, don't pour any out! Just add twice the difference in sugar! - Also, if you are LEAVING THE CHUNKS IN - you can skip this step completely)
-Add 2cups sugar (do you see the pattern here?)
-Simmer and stir until the sugar is completely dissolved and the liquid has a uniform texture
-Remove from heat and let cool
TO MAKE AN HERBED SYRUP: (oh yes, you can, and it is TASTY!)
-Start with either fresh or dried herb of choice-Chop and mottle (just take a knife and a cutting board and go to town then toss it in a bowl and smash the everlovin bejezums out of it until all of your feelings of aggression for the world have gone)
-Put in a pan (do you see where this is going?)
-Add 1cup water
-Simmer very low (herbs are less tolerant of heat) for at least half an hour (oh, man is it going to smell amazing!)
-Strain (if you want to, but with herbs it's not really necessary) through a cheese cloth lined metal strainer
-Return liquid to pan (or if you aren't straining just go to the next step)
-Add 2cups of sugar
-Simmer and stir for 5-10minutes or until sugar is completely dissolved and the liquid has a completely uniform texture
-Viola!
TO MAKE A CITRUS SYRUP:
-Cut zest off (leave the white parts with the rest of the fruit or it will taste bitter - the zest is just the colored part on the outside of the skin)-Cut the rest of the skin away from the fruit and cut wedges from the meat of the fruit (you want to avoid any and all of the membranes around each fruit: they add bitterness)
-Put in a pan (NO MOTTLING NECESSARY)
-Add 1c water
-Simmer for at least 30minutes
-Strain (or don't) through a cheese cloth lined strainer (save the fruit chunks for other recipes or for topping with ice cream; save the zest pieces and candy them by adding them back to the liquid for the sugar addition, then remove from the liquid)
-Add liquid (and zest if you want to candy your zest) back to the pan
-Add 2c sugar
-Simmer and stir for 5-10 minutes until sugar is completely dissolved and uniform in texture
-If you've candied your zest (which is not a euphamism) you should remove it and reserve for an edible garnish to beverages or to other dishes (candied orange zest is pretty delicious if chopped and added to a salty or spicy stir fry)
You can make homemade snowcones with your syrup: just shave or grate your ice, pack it into the shape you like (but you do have to pack it) then drizzle on the syrup until all the ice has been touched by your amazing creation!
You can mix your syrups together: 1T (<-that means a Tablespoon) strawberry syrup with 1tsp (<-that means a teaspoon) basil syrup and add to soda water or shaved ice and you have and experience, not just a tasty treat!
Most syrups (because of their very sugary nature) will keep in the fridge for quite a while. Trust me, you'll know when it goes bad - and put a lid on it for sure: this sugary substance will inherit the flavors of everything your fridge has to offer including stale air.
And Finally:
Link of the Day: I don't think I know it all and I certainly don't think anyone else does either - least of all the people responsible for the links I add here. I just want to spread the wealth of knowledge that other things are possible in this life, and I hope you can get even a little squeeze of something out of it.
http://projectcamelotportal.com/
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Day 284: Like a Kleenex just waiting to be tossed out
Ugh.
I mean, really.
Ugh.
Some
Days.
I
Just
Feel
Like
I'm a crumpled up used kleenex sitting around waiting for someone to come along and
I mean, really.
Ugh.
Some
Days.
I
Just
Feel
Like
I'm a crumpled up used kleenex sitting around waiting for someone to come along and
throw
me
in
the
garbage
so
I
can
REST!
But the wierdest part about feeling like that is that I'm really not doing anything in the first place. So I don't understand the ache for rest.
But anyway!
Maybe I'll do some sit ups. Yep, you read that right, some sit ups. It's been a while & I can hear my cute little yoga mat calling my name from over there in the corner. Where it belongs.
And I already know what I'm doing tomorrow: running bank/post office and other errands in the morning, baking bread and making soup in the evening! All the rest of the day is up for grabs! Maybe I won't feel like a used up ball of snot filled tissue tomorrow that only wants to be handled then tossed away! Because quite frankly THIS JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
So I guess you could say I feel like a confused little crumpled up used kleenex waiting around for someone to come by and throw me in the garbage so I can rest.
Link of the Day: I don't know everything, and I don't propose that the links I provide are the answer to life. I do hope they enrich your life in some way or at the very least make you think.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Day 282: Upon Looking Deeper
Hiya! Well, today I was faced with yet another conundrum of life. I am forever on the lookout for projects that need help - whether I can help financially or not is a completely separate matter. If I can, I will, otherwise I will try to spread the word about said organization and hope that helps, or if they need a petition signed or whatever... As long as I agree with the fundamentals of the organization and what they are trying to improve about the world.
For instance, there is a rash of "Non-Profit Organizations" that claim to be striving for a cleaner future for our earth: a subject I am all about. However, upon looking a little deeper into the makeup of the organization I may find that this organization is funded largely by a pr firm for a fossil fuel company and that their techniques in making our earth 'greener' are merely an extension of current values continued not to make our world a better place but to make it APPEAR as though such measures are being met and no further research is necessary. For that kind of group, I make NO moves. I do not sign their petitions and I do not further their cause financially or by word of mouth. I'm most certain they've got enough funding funneled in from larger sources, they don't need my help and besides, I hardly think blinders are an appropriate solution to any problem.
I recently saw a petition posed by Monsanto (who started out as the manufacturer of agent orange, let us not forget that) to ask our government to propose implementing their 'growing methods' in third world countries. The problem here is that Monsanto claims patents on any seed they sell, and anyone agreeing to buy/sow their seed agrees they will always only buy seed from them and never save seed. But saving seed is one of the best ways farmers have of ensuring crop integrity for following years and is also one way they are able to raise their profitability - a subject I think we all know they need every little bit of help in. The other problem with Monsanto's patent on seeds is that when they find "their product" in someone else's fields (someone who did not buy seed from them therefore did not sign an agreement to uphold the integrity of their patent) they sue, and subsequently bankrupt or own the rights to the farmer's crop regardless of their will. What is one of the most basic things we learn about plants? They cross polinate in order to grow flowers or crop. So, you see, it is impossible to keep Monsanto out if your neighbor agrees to grow their crop. They infest and contaminate in order to control, and it is UGLY. So, no, I will not help them 'help' people. I don't believe they intend to 'help' anyone. I believe they are a corporation out for profits and nothing else.
BOOM!
Anyway, these are just examples, but the instance I ran into earlier today was more bothersome to me on a personal level. One of the most important values I hold is the value on human rights. Not human rights based on culture, color, gender or otherwise specified degrees of "rightness". We are all human and we all deserve the right to food, water, life, and "the pursuit of happiness".
So when I see an organization touting "If you hate poverty, come help US out!" I'm all over it. Except when I go to this website (or whatever) and see that they are a religious organization.... This is where I'm at a loss... I understand Christianity (having been raised Southern Baptist) to be a faith of love and understanding, but my observations of Christian groups (having been raised Southern Baptist) has shown me quite a different picture. I don't propose that ALL Christians or ALL Christian groups are conditional with their love and compassion, but I do propose that in my experience, most are. So when I see a Christian (Catholic) group proposing to save American children from the devastating effects of poverty: I stop short. I am reluctant. I don't know if I can agree. Why? Because I don't know if they will only help the impoverished kids who say "I love Jesus" or who agree to read their Bible or who are not gay or who do not contend that they are sorry for stealing to feed themselves or their family. Stealing is wrong, sure, but I don't think anyone who does it out of desperation should be ostracized for it, but instead they should be shown ways to help themselves from that point on.
Of course, these are my values and I don't intend to impose them on anyone else. I do, however wonder if I'm alone in this course of thought. I mean, kids is people too, right? Shouldn't children be treated with respect regardless of their social standing or financial standing?
Anyway
Now
For
The
Link of the Day: I don't think I know everything and I certainly do not mean to imply that the links I present do. These links are just meant to provide a little intellectual enlightenment - and maybe even a little spiritual enlightenment: your choice!
http://www.enoughproject.org/blogs/how-our-cell-phones-link-us-congo-sexual-violence-epidemic
For instance, there is a rash of "Non-Profit Organizations" that claim to be striving for a cleaner future for our earth: a subject I am all about. However, upon looking a little deeper into the makeup of the organization I may find that this organization is funded largely by a pr firm for a fossil fuel company and that their techniques in making our earth 'greener' are merely an extension of current values continued not to make our world a better place but to make it APPEAR as though such measures are being met and no further research is necessary. For that kind of group, I make NO moves. I do not sign their petitions and I do not further their cause financially or by word of mouth. I'm most certain they've got enough funding funneled in from larger sources, they don't need my help and besides, I hardly think blinders are an appropriate solution to any problem.
I recently saw a petition posed by Monsanto (who started out as the manufacturer of agent orange, let us not forget that) to ask our government to propose implementing their 'growing methods' in third world countries. The problem here is that Monsanto claims patents on any seed they sell, and anyone agreeing to buy/sow their seed agrees they will always only buy seed from them and never save seed. But saving seed is one of the best ways farmers have of ensuring crop integrity for following years and is also one way they are able to raise their profitability - a subject I think we all know they need every little bit of help in. The other problem with Monsanto's patent on seeds is that when they find "their product" in someone else's fields (someone who did not buy seed from them therefore did not sign an agreement to uphold the integrity of their patent) they sue, and subsequently bankrupt or own the rights to the farmer's crop regardless of their will. What is one of the most basic things we learn about plants? They cross polinate in order to grow flowers or crop. So, you see, it is impossible to keep Monsanto out if your neighbor agrees to grow their crop. They infest and contaminate in order to control, and it is UGLY. So, no, I will not help them 'help' people. I don't believe they intend to 'help' anyone. I believe they are a corporation out for profits and nothing else.
BOOM!
Anyway, these are just examples, but the instance I ran into earlier today was more bothersome to me on a personal level. One of the most important values I hold is the value on human rights. Not human rights based on culture, color, gender or otherwise specified degrees of "rightness". We are all human and we all deserve the right to food, water, life, and "the pursuit of happiness".
So when I see an organization touting "If you hate poverty, come help US out!" I'm all over it. Except when I go to this website (or whatever) and see that they are a religious organization.... This is where I'm at a loss... I understand Christianity (having been raised Southern Baptist) to be a faith of love and understanding, but my observations of Christian groups (having been raised Southern Baptist) has shown me quite a different picture. I don't propose that ALL Christians or ALL Christian groups are conditional with their love and compassion, but I do propose that in my experience, most are. So when I see a Christian (Catholic) group proposing to save American children from the devastating effects of poverty: I stop short. I am reluctant. I don't know if I can agree. Why? Because I don't know if they will only help the impoverished kids who say "I love Jesus" or who agree to read their Bible or who are not gay or who do not contend that they are sorry for stealing to feed themselves or their family. Stealing is wrong, sure, but I don't think anyone who does it out of desperation should be ostracized for it, but instead they should be shown ways to help themselves from that point on.
Of course, these are my values and I don't intend to impose them on anyone else. I do, however wonder if I'm alone in this course of thought. I mean, kids is people too, right? Shouldn't children be treated with respect regardless of their social standing or financial standing?
Anyway
Now
For
The
Link of the Day: I don't think I know everything and I certainly do not mean to imply that the links I present do. These links are just meant to provide a little intellectual enlightenment - and maybe even a little spiritual enlightenment: your choice!
http://www.enoughproject.org/blogs/how-our-cell-phones-link-us-congo-sexual-violence-epidemic
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Day 277
As some of you may know and some of you may not know: I am a doula.
WTF is a doula?
A doula is a woman who assists other women during labor and childbirth. In my role as such, I work with women during pregnancy to understand their wishes and thoughts about their experience (or at least their desired experience) for pregnancy and actual labor and delivery as well as neonatal care (newborn care).
In studying to become a doula I learned that there is no certification required, and no certification in my state (New York) available. However; I do want to have some kind of official piece of paper that lets prospective clients know I'm not just some crazy lady who wants to help them have their baby. Even though that's kind of what I am, I think an official piece of paper might add to my legitimacy in some peoples eyes.
Getting certified (not certifiable) requires an academic course then a required number of attended births followed by so many hours of continued education academia. The specifics on these three things are different depending on what source you seek to get your certificate from. The source I chose required a 6 week (and fairly intensive) academic course, 3 births attended and 15 hours of continued education hours each subsequent year. So far, I've finished the academic piece, and have attended 1 birth.
And holy woah, how amazing that experience was. I absolutely loved being there offering support in any way I could. We tried some positioning maneuvers, some essential oils, some breathing (which was her amazing mother's prompting), some visualization, some talk therapy and rationalization speak (which is not easy during labor). Then the baby came and everyone cried and she is a beautiful healthy human being. I felt so inspired to go forth on this journey. I felt a renewed sense of amazement and importance wash over me. I felt a love so strong for the family I was there for and for life in general.
It was so beautiful.
And I had my follow up interview today.
And I got positive feedback from the mother.
And I feel wonderfully confident that I can do this, that I am good at this, that I can get better at this, that I can grow from this, that my community can be positively influenced by what I do.
And now:
Link of the Day:
I make no claims to know everything, and I do not contend that the links I post do either. I simply post them to enrich your mind or to offer the opportunity of such an act.
http://newlifeonahomestead.com/2011/01/garden-planting-zones-frost-dates/
WTF is a doula?
A doula is a woman who assists other women during labor and childbirth. In my role as such, I work with women during pregnancy to understand their wishes and thoughts about their experience (or at least their desired experience) for pregnancy and actual labor and delivery as well as neonatal care (newborn care).
In studying to become a doula I learned that there is no certification required, and no certification in my state (New York) available. However; I do want to have some kind of official piece of paper that lets prospective clients know I'm not just some crazy lady who wants to help them have their baby. Even though that's kind of what I am, I think an official piece of paper might add to my legitimacy in some peoples eyes.
Getting certified (not certifiable) requires an academic course then a required number of attended births followed by so many hours of continued education academia. The specifics on these three things are different depending on what source you seek to get your certificate from. The source I chose required a 6 week (and fairly intensive) academic course, 3 births attended and 15 hours of continued education hours each subsequent year. So far, I've finished the academic piece, and have attended 1 birth.
And holy woah, how amazing that experience was. I absolutely loved being there offering support in any way I could. We tried some positioning maneuvers, some essential oils, some breathing (which was her amazing mother's prompting), some visualization, some talk therapy and rationalization speak (which is not easy during labor). Then the baby came and everyone cried and she is a beautiful healthy human being. I felt so inspired to go forth on this journey. I felt a renewed sense of amazement and importance wash over me. I felt a love so strong for the family I was there for and for life in general.
It was so beautiful.
And I had my follow up interview today.
And I got positive feedback from the mother.
And I feel wonderfully confident that I can do this, that I am good at this, that I can get better at this, that I can grow from this, that my community can be positively influenced by what I do.
And now:
Link of the Day:
I make no claims to know everything, and I do not contend that the links I post do either. I simply post them to enrich your mind or to offer the opportunity of such an act.
http://newlifeonahomestead.com/2011/01/garden-planting-zones-frost-dates/
Friday, January 13, 2012
Day 275: Maybe I can live up to that.
Everyday, like most people (or at least I hope like most people), I think about my life and how I can improve upon it. I think about ways I can improve my business practices, ways I can rearrange my apartment, ways I can streamline my physique, ways I can feed my family better, ways I can generally improve not only my life, but the life of my family and the life of others.
One of the more selfish (yeah, whatever, being somewhat selfish is NOT bad, we DO have to work on ourselves, don't we?) things I do is write this blog. I do it for me, to clear my head to give myself some creative outlet without having to delve into a huge project. I do HOPE that there are other people who get enjoyment out of it, and I also hope that those of my family and friends who are curious about what might be in the head of someone they know (or love) have a way to find that out. I also, in my live, have found that I am very curious about what my parents think about, what my brothers and cousins and aunts and uncles, grandparents and friends are thinking about in their lives. I hope, that by writing this blog, my daughter won't have to wonder quite so much about me. Maybe she'll be able to source to this and occupy her mind with other things. Who knows, but it makes me feel better.
Anyway, in an effort to make 2012 a better year than 2011 on a personal level, I hope to be more committed to writing here.
If you're reading this: I hope you like it.
If you don't like this, I really can't take responsibility for that. I curse. There are worse things. And, to me, cursing is a non issue.
Link for the Day:
I don't claim to know everything, and I don't intend for these links to indicate that I do. They are meant to enrich your life of knowledge/spark interest in interesting things. That being said, please enjoy.
http://ravenredbone.wordpress.com/
One of the more selfish (yeah, whatever, being somewhat selfish is NOT bad, we DO have to work on ourselves, don't we?) things I do is write this blog. I do it for me, to clear my head to give myself some creative outlet without having to delve into a huge project. I do HOPE that there are other people who get enjoyment out of it, and I also hope that those of my family and friends who are curious about what might be in the head of someone they know (or love) have a way to find that out. I also, in my live, have found that I am very curious about what my parents think about, what my brothers and cousins and aunts and uncles, grandparents and friends are thinking about in their lives. I hope, that by writing this blog, my daughter won't have to wonder quite so much about me. Maybe she'll be able to source to this and occupy her mind with other things. Who knows, but it makes me feel better.
Anyway, in an effort to make 2012 a better year than 2011 on a personal level, I hope to be more committed to writing here.
If you're reading this: I hope you like it.
If you don't like this, I really can't take responsibility for that. I curse. There are worse things. And, to me, cursing is a non issue.
Link for the Day:
I don't claim to know everything, and I don't intend for these links to indicate that I do. They are meant to enrich your life of knowledge/spark interest in interesting things. That being said, please enjoy.
http://ravenredbone.wordpress.com/
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Day 274: Here's an idea... or two.
Here we live in this crazy confusing and complex world. A place where you can be sure you'd rather sit and watch the latest episode of your favorite program than the news, any news, and you'd certainly rather watch that than try to be informed about all the fucked up shit happening everywhere around you. Well, maybe YOU wouldn't, but that seems to be the idea extraordinaire for our population at large. Most people don't know what's in their food, they don't know what congress does all day, they don't know the dangers that REALLY lurk in your household (like bleach). I can't say I blame them. There are definitely days where I wish I could dismiss most of the truths I know. It sure would be easier, not to mention cheaper.
But no, I go on like I do, learning how to be self-sustaining, buying real food and learning how to cook it, finding out the OLD ways of cleaning and integrating them with new stuff that doesn't damage my family's endocrine production. So often I hear people tell me it doesn't matter what I do: there's cancer and disease in everything. I wish they knew more. I wish they had regular access to self educating material, instead of regular access to mindless comedy or drama or dramedy or whatever.
To all this I will say that I seem to talk to more and more people who are aware each day. I think people are waking up from the televisionic slumber and they're realizing their favorite snackfood, their precious chips contains MSG because mono sodium glutamate IS MSG, and the food manufacturer doesn't have to label it so you can understand it. They just have to label it.
Anyway, this isn't meant to be a tirade or a lecture, just a thought.
Another thought I had more recently was to add a link to my post each time I post. I'll call it:
Link of the day:
Some of these links might be educational, inspirational, or just plain thought provoking. I don't claim to know it all, and I don't think any of my links will either, but if you give them a chance they just might give you something else.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Z-cT8Qe7y3k
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Z-cT8Qe7y3k" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
But no, I go on like I do, learning how to be self-sustaining, buying real food and learning how to cook it, finding out the OLD ways of cleaning and integrating them with new stuff that doesn't damage my family's endocrine production. So often I hear people tell me it doesn't matter what I do: there's cancer and disease in everything. I wish they knew more. I wish they had regular access to self educating material, instead of regular access to mindless comedy or drama or dramedy or whatever.
To all this I will say that I seem to talk to more and more people who are aware each day. I think people are waking up from the televisionic slumber and they're realizing their favorite snackfood, their precious chips contains MSG because mono sodium glutamate IS MSG, and the food manufacturer doesn't have to label it so you can understand it. They just have to label it.
Anyway, this isn't meant to be a tirade or a lecture, just a thought.
Another thought I had more recently was to add a link to my post each time I post. I'll call it:
Link of the day:
Some of these links might be educational, inspirational, or just plain thought provoking. I don't claim to know it all, and I don't think any of my links will either, but if you give them a chance they just might give you something else.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Z-cT8Qe7y3k
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Z-cT8Qe7y3k" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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