Well, here we are, creeping up to another New Year's Day. I don't know about you, but New Year's Day in my head translates to: New Life Starts Today. I don't necessarily gravitate to the whole New Year's resolutions track (though I do certainly see the value in it). I do, however, for whatever reason, have this magical thinking thing going on where I just think everything will be new and different and just the way I dreamed it would/should be: I'll wake up on New Years Day and I'll be thinner, less creaky, more energetic, a better partner, my businesses will take off, Mira will become more self-sufficient without losing her need for me, I will remember to write my blog nearly every day, I will cook better and I will be an instant success at baking...
It's nice to have dreams!
Though I fully recognize that none of these things will just happen because I have to hang a new calendar, it doesn't stop my brain from taking me on a new adventure each year about two weeks prior to the holiday.
I think it is because of this that I always start minor changes in my life and start to take some sort of an "inventory" of where I am, where I want to be, where I wish I was, where I thought I would be, what kind of mother am I, am I at least sufficient in love and creativity, do I have enough skills, what if the apocalypse happens tomorrow, am I prepared if I am lucky enough to survive? Yeah, I know, but it's inevitable: my mind always wants to end things with the ending of the world as we know it.
Anyway.
So this year as I started to take inventory I realized two things simultaneously: I'm broke and I don't know how to bake.
Utilizing those two observations, I spent a bit of my limited resource and bought supplies and for the last two days have been trying my hand at creating within myself: a baker. I've always been a decent cook, but the world of baking seemed light years away. For some reason, I had this idea that because you can't really taste-test the end product well before you're there (as you can in cooking), I just thought I would be an instant failure.
Turns out: cookies ain't so tough!
Now I have something to offer the loved ones around me AND I'm facing the new year with a new skill to pursue and (nearly) perfect!
By the way: I have to admit that the only reason I even THOUGH I could take on baking is thanks mostly to Alton Brown. Thanks, Stranger!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Day 201: In Remembrance
As you may or may not know, my family has recently suffered yet another loss. As his very wise 10 year old grandson Lakota put it: He was a good man. We will miss him greatly. Everyone who had the pleasure of meeting Steve Newby learned something. Steve was my step father, but more importantly, he was my mother's loving husband. I remember shortly after I met him, he and I were in a car together alone for some reason. I was cooking up a speech about how he better not hurt my mother. Then, he beat me to it! HE tole ME I better be nice to my mother because she meant the world to him! Totally stole my thunder... and my heart.
He had a talent like no other of teaching you (and by "you" I do mean YOU, because he inevitably did it with anyone and everyone) a lesson about life, about yourself, about society, the valiant cause of honest and hard work among other things. His talent lied in the fact that he could do this without the actual ACT of teaching. It just came naturally to him to present the world in a way that made you see through your person to the reality that is the world. He lived his life in many different ways, the way I knew him proved that you can lead your mind with your heart without being foolish or selfish. He truly was a man who saw "the big picture" and did almost no act without considering the summation of its many consequences. I learned a great deal from him. Our relationship was cantankerous at times, but I always felt a mutual respect and love regardless of the situation or argument. Through this, I learned the true value of being respectful and mindful while still following your heart.
At his funeral I, along with many others, cried. I am an emotional creature, I may have cried more than others. I don't know. But I know I couldn't stop it. Damned crying! And then in the midst of my crying I had an almost vision. I had a vision of Steve up there at the podium of his own funeral. If there ever was a man who could take the podium at his own funeral: it would have been Steve Newby. Anyway, I saw him up there, leaning on the podium like it was a lunch counter. He looked around the room, at me, then addressing the room, he said "Why are ya cryin?" Pausing for effect and laughter, he continued "No, really: WHY ARE YA CRYIN? I lived a much longer life than I ever deserved, I was blessed with wonderful and beautiful people for children and after a long tumultuous dance with pain and anger within myself, I found a love that most people never get to experience. You people are wasting your time here doing all this mopin and cryin." And he turned away shaking his head and waving us off with a minor annoyance that only he could get away with and disappeared.
Well, we are selfish, that's why we were crying. We know what we've lost. And in the shadow of that, the grief is too large to just be grateful for having gotten to have him in our lives. He always sent you on your way with a "Glad you got to see me!" And good grief, wasn't he right? Aren't we all glad we got to see him.
RIP, Steve Newby.
Nah, on second thought raise as much stink as you can. You are loved and you will be sorely missed, but we will try to just be happy for the time we got to have with you.
He had a talent like no other of teaching you (and by "you" I do mean YOU, because he inevitably did it with anyone and everyone) a lesson about life, about yourself, about society, the valiant cause of honest and hard work among other things. His talent lied in the fact that he could do this without the actual ACT of teaching. It just came naturally to him to present the world in a way that made you see through your person to the reality that is the world. He lived his life in many different ways, the way I knew him proved that you can lead your mind with your heart without being foolish or selfish. He truly was a man who saw "the big picture" and did almost no act without considering the summation of its many consequences. I learned a great deal from him. Our relationship was cantankerous at times, but I always felt a mutual respect and love regardless of the situation or argument. Through this, I learned the true value of being respectful and mindful while still following your heart.
At his funeral I, along with many others, cried. I am an emotional creature, I may have cried more than others. I don't know. But I know I couldn't stop it. Damned crying! And then in the midst of my crying I had an almost vision. I had a vision of Steve up there at the podium of his own funeral. If there ever was a man who could take the podium at his own funeral: it would have been Steve Newby. Anyway, I saw him up there, leaning on the podium like it was a lunch counter. He looked around the room, at me, then addressing the room, he said "Why are ya cryin?" Pausing for effect and laughter, he continued "No, really: WHY ARE YA CRYIN? I lived a much longer life than I ever deserved, I was blessed with wonderful and beautiful people for children and after a long tumultuous dance with pain and anger within myself, I found a love that most people never get to experience. You people are wasting your time here doing all this mopin and cryin." And he turned away shaking his head and waving us off with a minor annoyance that only he could get away with and disappeared.
Well, we are selfish, that's why we were crying. We know what we've lost. And in the shadow of that, the grief is too large to just be grateful for having gotten to have him in our lives. He always sent you on your way with a "Glad you got to see me!" And good grief, wasn't he right? Aren't we all glad we got to see him.
RIP, Steve Newby.
Nah, on second thought raise as much stink as you can. You are loved and you will be sorely missed, but we will try to just be happy for the time we got to have with you.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Day 139: I have a secret.
I have a secret. Not the kind of secret you keep on purpose. The kind of secret you keep because it never comes up in conversation. Never.
I have the urge to take pictures of dead things. Also, to put FOR SALE signs on things and take pictures of them.
There's something symbolic about both of those things and I wish I could blame the urge on that. Unless I have a primal urge to relay subconscious symbolism that I don't know about - I can't claim it a purposeful genius.
I did try once for about a year to follow through with these urges. This was about 7 years ago... I don't know why I stopped. I got such a surge of satisfaction, like I was committing major societal breakthrough or something: the satisfaction level was so strong.
Maybe I should take this up once more, start carrying my camera around with me.
I especially love the idea of (and actually) taking pictures of roadkill. Yes, I know it's weird. No, I'm not scared to admit it. It's part of who I am. No need to be ashamed. It's not something I sought out to be enthralled with: it just comes to me. Every time I see roadkill, I mentally picture it as a photo. I picture the appropriate angle and everything. The urge is that strong!
And yes, I know it's a little wrong to take pictures of dead things without their permission (maybe I should ask them permission?), but there's a little thrill that comes from that aspect.
Well, I think that is just about enough sharing of myself for one day!
I have the urge to take pictures of dead things. Also, to put FOR SALE signs on things and take pictures of them.
There's something symbolic about both of those things and I wish I could blame the urge on that. Unless I have a primal urge to relay subconscious symbolism that I don't know about - I can't claim it a purposeful genius.
I did try once for about a year to follow through with these urges. This was about 7 years ago... I don't know why I stopped. I got such a surge of satisfaction, like I was committing major societal breakthrough or something: the satisfaction level was so strong.
Maybe I should take this up once more, start carrying my camera around with me.
I especially love the idea of (and actually) taking pictures of roadkill. Yes, I know it's weird. No, I'm not scared to admit it. It's part of who I am. No need to be ashamed. It's not something I sought out to be enthralled with: it just comes to me. Every time I see roadkill, I mentally picture it as a photo. I picture the appropriate angle and everything. The urge is that strong!
And yes, I know it's a little wrong to take pictures of dead things without their permission (maybe I should ask them permission?), but there's a little thrill that comes from that aspect.
Well, I think that is just about enough sharing of myself for one day!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Day 135: It's been a while!
Okay, so there's been so much going on!
Our family was facing a minor financial crisis.
I am getting some serious stomping on at work.
We (okay, more like I am) are working on some SERIOUS home makeover stuff.
Plus, I feel like the general cleaning has gotten way out of hand - it's taking up WAY too much time.
Then there's all the normal fracking issues.
Also, a lot of social commentary has been going on.
Not to mention the Occupy Wall Street movement which has spawned an Occupy Together in solidarity movement and you KNOW I can't keep my nose out of THAT!
Anywhat, amidst all of that I am still honing my cooking skills. Researching good old fashioned recipies that call for real, natural ingredients takes time and energy. Oh, and they are soooooooo worth it! I like to pass on any tips I get or things I find and I just found a doozie!
Say GOOD MORNING to homemade breakfast sausage!
A video tutorial!
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24hA3dD8SjM&feature=player_embedded&noredirect=1#!
My love,
Misty
Our family was facing a minor financial crisis.
I am getting some serious stomping on at work.
We (okay, more like I am) are working on some SERIOUS home makeover stuff.
Plus, I feel like the general cleaning has gotten way out of hand - it's taking up WAY too much time.
Then there's all the normal fracking issues.
Also, a lot of social commentary has been going on.
Not to mention the Occupy Wall Street movement which has spawned an Occupy Together in solidarity movement and you KNOW I can't keep my nose out of THAT!
Anywhat, amidst all of that I am still honing my cooking skills. Researching good old fashioned recipies that call for real, natural ingredients takes time and energy. Oh, and they are soooooooo worth it! I like to pass on any tips I get or things I find and I just found a doozie!
Say GOOD MORNING to homemade breakfast sausage!
A video tutorial!
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24hA3dD8SjM&feature=player_embedded&noredirect=1#!
My love,
Misty
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Day 108: Oh Age, you get the best of us.
I'm surrounded by people getting OLDER.
So are YOU!
One of my favorite songs (I have hundreds of them, but still I don't think it diminishes the point) is Older by They Might Be Giants
I went through a lot of the videos to find this one and I think this one was definitely my favorite: I love it when people get creative with their favorite forms of media.
Anywhat!
I like the song a lot. It seems at first that they are making fun of our mortality as living beings, but I think it can most definitely be taken to a deeper level than that. It's not human mortality they are making fun of, it's the way we treat it so dire. Like our mortality is something to fear.
Uh NO!
Mortality is something to embrace!
If you embrace your mortality you can embrace the very action of getting older and with THAT you can better understand not only your life as a whole but the goings on around you. We are all here for a while, some shorter than others and that is a shame it truly is a sobbing shame... For the people we leave behind. But if we understand our mortality and treat it with the respect of an old friend, we have LIVED every single day to its fullest! Or we have at least tried and implemented what it means to live life to its fullest.
I hear an awful lot of people saying things like "LIVE" or "Stop and smell the roses!" or "ENJOY LIFE!", and I see some of them really understanding that and what all that entails. All too often, though, I see people who say things like that but who walk around complaining about everything, constantly sucking the life out of everything. Not that I don't complain, I just mean that there are people who seem to get caught in the idea of complaining and let it run them down the big black hole that is death. Life is rough. It's always going to be rough. There will always be things to dwell on.
NOT
DWELLING
IS
HOW
YOU
ENJOY
LIFE.
You don't dwell on the crap, and you find a way to wipe your ass and stand up and smell the fresh air when you walk out of the bathroom. Too many people hang out in the bathroom poking the poo and calling everyone else into the room to confirm the horrible stench and the pure grossness of it all then bend over and show their asshole.
Not to be gross, that's just the best analogy I could come up with - never mind the pun.
So yeah. Stop and do smell the roses. Try your best to never mind the shit, eh?
So are YOU!
One of my favorite songs (I have hundreds of them, but still I don't think it diminishes the point) is Older by They Might Be Giants
I went through a lot of the videos to find this one and I think this one was definitely my favorite: I love it when people get creative with their favorite forms of media.
Anywhat!
I like the song a lot. It seems at first that they are making fun of our mortality as living beings, but I think it can most definitely be taken to a deeper level than that. It's not human mortality they are making fun of, it's the way we treat it so dire. Like our mortality is something to fear.
Uh NO!
Mortality is something to embrace!
If you embrace your mortality you can embrace the very action of getting older and with THAT you can better understand not only your life as a whole but the goings on around you. We are all here for a while, some shorter than others and that is a shame it truly is a sobbing shame... For the people we leave behind. But if we understand our mortality and treat it with the respect of an old friend, we have LIVED every single day to its fullest! Or we have at least tried and implemented what it means to live life to its fullest.
I hear an awful lot of people saying things like "LIVE" or "Stop and smell the roses!" or "ENJOY LIFE!", and I see some of them really understanding that and what all that entails. All too often, though, I see people who say things like that but who walk around complaining about everything, constantly sucking the life out of everything. Not that I don't complain, I just mean that there are people who seem to get caught in the idea of complaining and let it run them down the big black hole that is death. Life is rough. It's always going to be rough. There will always be things to dwell on.
NOT
DWELLING
IS
HOW
YOU
ENJOY
LIFE.
You don't dwell on the crap, and you find a way to wipe your ass and stand up and smell the fresh air when you walk out of the bathroom. Too many people hang out in the bathroom poking the poo and calling everyone else into the room to confirm the horrible stench and the pure grossness of it all then bend over and show their asshole.
Not to be gross, that's just the best analogy I could come up with - never mind the pun.
So yeah. Stop and do smell the roses. Try your best to never mind the shit, eh?
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Day 94: Venture Localism
So, as some of you may or may not know, 2011 was a big year for me. I passed the 30 year mark in my life, I came into the year with a 6month old child, and since the beginning of the year I have started 3 business ventures. Or business adventures if you will.
I have a dream in mind that will no doubt take no less than about 15 years to come to fruition if I'm being honest about my abilities and my financial situation. Never the less: I believe in my ability to make SOMETHING happen.
All three ventures have their selfish reasons: Mamo's Books & Handmade Goods is the spark in my dream and the most selfish for sure. I want to make things, I want to make money from making things, pretty and useful. I want to see and read all the books I possibly can (I love books!), and I want to make money while giving myself this opportunity. I want to own a shop someday where people can come hang out, drink coffee and juice and water and talk. They can buy books or not buy books, just so long as they talk about them and also talk about the world and how it can be made a nicer place for us all.
Melaleuca is for sure middle of the road. It's a selfish venture because I hope I can make a little money from it. It's not really that selfish though in that I can feel good about using most of their products in my home. I don't need to worry about the endocrine disrupting power of bleach while I disinfect my kitchen, bathroom, floors and whatever, Melaleuca products use tea tree oil (melaleuca oil) and thyme and good ole fashioned herbal chemistry. Even the vitamins are made from organic compounds, so I know I'm doing the better thing by my body (selfish, sure).
Finally, I'm brought to my venturing in Doula work. A doula, for those of you who do not know, is a woman who helps other women in childbirth. This job hopefully begins during pregnancy and climaxes during actual labor but does not end after the new person is brought into the world. I started doing this for lots of reasons. The world surrounding pregnancy and childbirth in our American culture is clouded with fear, uncertainty, drugs and greed. Unfortunately. This unfortunate development has led to growing uses of formula instead of breastmilk and thus childhood obesity, a lack of bonding and trust between mother and child, an overall unhealthy attitude towards true nutrition of the mind, body and spirit. One could argue that these developments in our history since the 30's have contributed to the lack of moral scope in Americans: why our crime rate is higher, why there is so much violence here. But I don't want to go there. I don't downplay anyone's experience as a parent: it is such an immense job with such overwhelming emotion and love. I could never pretend that my experience is better or more fulfilling than anyone else's. It wouldn't be right and it wouldn't be fair. I just maintain that in my opinion the overall feelings and thoughts towards childbirth, pregnancy and neonatal care could be better, could be different. The other countries that have a different perspective on childbirth and neonatal care; the countries that use doulas, that embrace pregnancy and childbirth as both natural and beautiful, the ones that have societies who understand that a woman (a mother) is more often than not (by about 87%) very capable of birthing without medical intervention and also more capable than any medical professional to care for her newborn: have lower birth defects, lower infant and maternal mortality rates (excluding 3rd world countries where overall nutrition is a daily struggle), lower violent crime rates, higher breastfeeding rates, less accounts of severe postpartum depression and psychosis AND lower SIDS rates. I even found studies showing an overall decrease in labor time (some claimed only half an hour on average decrease, some claimed as much as 8 hours in an average decrease). Anyway, this last venture is all about doing my part to change the world... For the better.
In any case, all three are an attempt at creating jobs in my local community - even if it's just 3 jobs for ME!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Just playin. Sort of.
Love ya'll!
I have a dream in mind that will no doubt take no less than about 15 years to come to fruition if I'm being honest about my abilities and my financial situation. Never the less: I believe in my ability to make SOMETHING happen.
All three ventures have their selfish reasons: Mamo's Books & Handmade Goods is the spark in my dream and the most selfish for sure. I want to make things, I want to make money from making things, pretty and useful. I want to see and read all the books I possibly can (I love books!), and I want to make money while giving myself this opportunity. I want to own a shop someday where people can come hang out, drink coffee and juice and water and talk. They can buy books or not buy books, just so long as they talk about them and also talk about the world and how it can be made a nicer place for us all.
Melaleuca is for sure middle of the road. It's a selfish venture because I hope I can make a little money from it. It's not really that selfish though in that I can feel good about using most of their products in my home. I don't need to worry about the endocrine disrupting power of bleach while I disinfect my kitchen, bathroom, floors and whatever, Melaleuca products use tea tree oil (melaleuca oil) and thyme and good ole fashioned herbal chemistry. Even the vitamins are made from organic compounds, so I know I'm doing the better thing by my body (selfish, sure).
Finally, I'm brought to my venturing in Doula work. A doula, for those of you who do not know, is a woman who helps other women in childbirth. This job hopefully begins during pregnancy and climaxes during actual labor but does not end after the new person is brought into the world. I started doing this for lots of reasons. The world surrounding pregnancy and childbirth in our American culture is clouded with fear, uncertainty, drugs and greed. Unfortunately. This unfortunate development has led to growing uses of formula instead of breastmilk and thus childhood obesity, a lack of bonding and trust between mother and child, an overall unhealthy attitude towards true nutrition of the mind, body and spirit. One could argue that these developments in our history since the 30's have contributed to the lack of moral scope in Americans: why our crime rate is higher, why there is so much violence here. But I don't want to go there. I don't downplay anyone's experience as a parent: it is such an immense job with such overwhelming emotion and love. I could never pretend that my experience is better or more fulfilling than anyone else's. It wouldn't be right and it wouldn't be fair. I just maintain that in my opinion the overall feelings and thoughts towards childbirth, pregnancy and neonatal care could be better, could be different. The other countries that have a different perspective on childbirth and neonatal care; the countries that use doulas, that embrace pregnancy and childbirth as both natural and beautiful, the ones that have societies who understand that a woman (a mother) is more often than not (by about 87%) very capable of birthing without medical intervention and also more capable than any medical professional to care for her newborn: have lower birth defects, lower infant and maternal mortality rates (excluding 3rd world countries where overall nutrition is a daily struggle), lower violent crime rates, higher breastfeeding rates, less accounts of severe postpartum depression and psychosis AND lower SIDS rates. I even found studies showing an overall decrease in labor time (some claimed only half an hour on average decrease, some claimed as much as 8 hours in an average decrease). Anyway, this last venture is all about doing my part to change the world... For the better.
In any case, all three are an attempt at creating jobs in my local community - even if it's just 3 jobs for ME!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Just playin. Sort of.
Love ya'll!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Day 92: A strange day indeed...
Today was one of those days where I just felt like I was living inside a glass bowl watching everything around me get weirder and weirder. Even the completely normal things seemed strange to me today! I don't really know how to explain it all, well, I CAN'T explain it all, so I'll just list everything:
A woman sitting angrily at a picnic table (don't ask me why, but she just looked angry)
A mother carrying a toddler (maybe around Mira's age) in a sling and also carrying flowers
A remarkably overweight woman walking with a utility cart FULL of empty garbage bags
News reports of an earthquake felt from Atlanta to Boston and originating in Virginia near a nuclear plant
News reports of yet another mob outbreak
News reports of an earthquake about to hit the lower East coast
I would also like to say that I don't usually watch the news, but it was somehow inevitable today as
it was on everywhere I went - and I only committed to watching an accumulative 10-15min total.
A grocery clerk asking me if I knew I picked up organic broccoli and then scoffing at me when it rang up at 3.99 for the bunch
6 different cars pull in to 6 different parking lots, park, immediately pull out, turn around and go back out (okay, I was one of those, but even still; 5 is a lot of that to see in one afternoon)
My phone giving error messages that consisted of one single ! and then the OK button (never seen that one before)
Later, at dinner, discussion moved on to an environmental discussion about the world water shortage (seriously people, it is beginning) and how desertification is becoming a reality in many places the world over:
http://www.howstuffworks.com/environmental/conservation/issues/desertification.htm
and also see:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/climate-weather/atmospheric/us-desert-50-years.htm
I was surprised to be explaining that yes, there really is a threat to our water sources. The entire world is facing a potential disastrous water shortage. I wasn't surprised because it's something that everyone knows, I can face the facts, and the facts are that very few people know or understand this. I was surprised because I honestly thought this particular person already knew... I'm really happy it came up! It's the kind of thing people just don't understand when they can't relate it to their every day lives and their ability to just go to the tap and turn on the faucet. But it is a real threat, mostly due to pollution, drainage without replenishment and pollution. Yeah, I said pollution twice because it is such a big problem: once you put certain things in the water, you can't get just water back!
There are lots of resources out there in modern society bringing it up: a children's cartoon called Rango, National Geographic printed an entire issue related directly to water shortage and pollution, I've seen documentaries, and even news reports and commercials.
Unfortunately it's like my good friend Mac says: "People don't care or pay attention until their hair is on fire"
Hmmmm
So yeah, today was indeed a strange day.
I hope you were enjoying your day wherever you were today. I hope you were noticing all the weirder than normal stuff going on around you too.
A woman sitting angrily at a picnic table (don't ask me why, but she just looked angry)
A mother carrying a toddler (maybe around Mira's age) in a sling and also carrying flowers
A remarkably overweight woman walking with a utility cart FULL of empty garbage bags
News reports of an earthquake felt from Atlanta to Boston and originating in Virginia near a nuclear plant
News reports of yet another mob outbreak
News reports of an earthquake about to hit the lower East coast
I would also like to say that I don't usually watch the news, but it was somehow inevitable today as
it was on everywhere I went - and I only committed to watching an accumulative 10-15min total.
A grocery clerk asking me if I knew I picked up organic broccoli and then scoffing at me when it rang up at 3.99 for the bunch
6 different cars pull in to 6 different parking lots, park, immediately pull out, turn around and go back out (okay, I was one of those, but even still; 5 is a lot of that to see in one afternoon)
My phone giving error messages that consisted of one single ! and then the OK button (never seen that one before)
Later, at dinner, discussion moved on to an environmental discussion about the world water shortage (seriously people, it is beginning) and how desertification is becoming a reality in many places the world over:
http://www.howstuffworks.com/environmental/conservation/issues/desertification.htm
and also see:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/nature/climate-weather/atmospheric/us-desert-50-years.htm
I was surprised to be explaining that yes, there really is a threat to our water sources. The entire world is facing a potential disastrous water shortage. I wasn't surprised because it's something that everyone knows, I can face the facts, and the facts are that very few people know or understand this. I was surprised because I honestly thought this particular person already knew... I'm really happy it came up! It's the kind of thing people just don't understand when they can't relate it to their every day lives and their ability to just go to the tap and turn on the faucet. But it is a real threat, mostly due to pollution, drainage without replenishment and pollution. Yeah, I said pollution twice because it is such a big problem: once you put certain things in the water, you can't get just water back!
There are lots of resources out there in modern society bringing it up: a children's cartoon called Rango, National Geographic printed an entire issue related directly to water shortage and pollution, I've seen documentaries, and even news reports and commercials.
Unfortunately it's like my good friend Mac says: "People don't care or pay attention until their hair is on fire"
Hmmmm
So yeah, today was indeed a strange day.
I hope you were enjoying your day wherever you were today. I hope you were noticing all the weirder than normal stuff going on around you too.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Day 87: Happy Birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRENDAN!
Birthdays are funny creatures aren't they? Especially as you get older... When you're young, birthdays are so important and you sort of expect things, or you hope for things and even if you don't expect them: you're severely disappointing if they don't happen. I remember a few times when I was a kid, I had expectations that weren't met and I was heartbroken.
This isn't a woes me post, it happens to everyone at least once.
My last birthday was a roller coaster for sure: We got literally 2 feet of snow on the ground and I shoveled for almost an hour without getting much of anywhere. The only car we had last year was the Civic which is about as high off the ground as a gocart. Anyway, long story short, I had to call in to work which was both a blessing and a curse. Then we got a much needed new fridge from our neighbors which was also a blessing and a curse because we had some things we needed to do in addition to cleaning out the old fridge, finding a cooler to put the stuff in, shoveling out and moving cars so the snow plow could clean the parking lot. Through all the frustrations, Brendan and I got into a terrible fight. It happens, but it was really a terrible fight made worse by happening on my birthday. So I was let down, picked up, let down, picked up, let down, picked up all day long.
It was memorable!
Anyway, so I always want to try and make up for those little short comings for the people in my life... It doesn't usually work, but I put a lot of thought into it! For Brendan's birthday, for instance, today, I was going to get him a video capable MP3, then I was going to get him a tablet THEN I was going to get him a non-motorized boat!
Needless to say, none of that could fulfill my want for him, so I ended up with some clothes and a pair of shoes instead. He seemed happy.
Maybe next year I can do something really special.
Who knows, maybe this year was extra special because of nothing I did... Maybe this year was extra special because this year he got a card from Mira with her very first writing ever on it.
Who wouldn't love that?
Birthdays are funny creatures aren't they? Especially as you get older... When you're young, birthdays are so important and you sort of expect things, or you hope for things and even if you don't expect them: you're severely disappointing if they don't happen. I remember a few times when I was a kid, I had expectations that weren't met and I was heartbroken.
This isn't a woes me post, it happens to everyone at least once.
My last birthday was a roller coaster for sure: We got literally 2 feet of snow on the ground and I shoveled for almost an hour without getting much of anywhere. The only car we had last year was the Civic which is about as high off the ground as a gocart. Anyway, long story short, I had to call in to work which was both a blessing and a curse. Then we got a much needed new fridge from our neighbors which was also a blessing and a curse because we had some things we needed to do in addition to cleaning out the old fridge, finding a cooler to put the stuff in, shoveling out and moving cars so the snow plow could clean the parking lot. Through all the frustrations, Brendan and I got into a terrible fight. It happens, but it was really a terrible fight made worse by happening on my birthday. So I was let down, picked up, let down, picked up, let down, picked up all day long.
It was memorable!
Anyway, so I always want to try and make up for those little short comings for the people in my life... It doesn't usually work, but I put a lot of thought into it! For Brendan's birthday, for instance, today, I was going to get him a video capable MP3, then I was going to get him a tablet THEN I was going to get him a non-motorized boat!
Needless to say, none of that could fulfill my want for him, so I ended up with some clothes and a pair of shoes instead. He seemed happy.
Maybe next year I can do something really special.
Who knows, maybe this year was extra special because of nothing I did... Maybe this year was extra special because this year he got a card from Mira with her very first writing ever on it.
Who wouldn't love that?
Monday, August 15, 2011
Day 84: Oh to spin a yarn
Oh to spin a yarn and then weave a napkin with it. I say "napkin" because this is only a short story. If it were more, well then, it would be more. A novel, for instance could be a sheet or a blanket; depending on the thickness. A series of novels would be an entire sheet and comforter set.
But this is only a short story. By me.
Today on her ride in she thought of how things used to be. As the air flowed around her, she reminisced cool, clear water flowing from the taps at home whenever she wished. It was like magic in her mind now, the way the liquid came out sparkling and crisp and clean and ready. She usually made a point of not thinking of these things, it made the world feel sad to her, and she had a day to get through.
She usually played a game of chess in her mind with her grandfather on the rides to work. He never played chess in real life that she knew of, but that made it all the more exciting and a never ending source of surprise and wonder when she would imagine the final scene in any game and the words "check" or "check mate" would come out of her mouth or out of his eternal unmoving ever so slightly smiling lips in her mind. She never really knew that much about her grandfather. It made her feel closer to him when she imagined these games they played. She had almost an hour of a ride to work each day. Imagining the chess games from start to finish made the ride seem quicker and took her mind off the fatigue and hunger and thirst. She could mull over each move for whole minutes at a time and contemplate what the next moves might be if she moved the rook here or had her grandfather jump the knight to over there. Playing chess made things as simple as the spokes turning round and round.
In the beginning, when things really started to go bad, when she started riding the bike to work in warm weather, she found herself obsessing over what went wrong and when and how and shame on those people. It was driving her insane and she was taking it out on everyone else. Her health was starting to deteriorate. At first she contributed it solely to the contamination, but then she started to realize her own role in the demise of her mental and physical health. A friend of hers recommended recreational thinking and meditating during downtime. The way he recommended it made her feel like she were in a prison and there was a special amount of time allotted to each day for thinking and such. This, in turn, brought her to a memory of school when her history teacher had brought in a guest; a Vietnam war vet. He told of how the other men around him went insane with nothing to do in a dirty cell everyday except pay attention to the dirty cell and all the other inane men around them. He explained that he came out virtually sane only because he imagined building a fence around his lawn back home. He would imagine going out every morning and measuring out the distance to the next post, get a shovel from the shed, start digging. Sometimes he'd hit a rock and have to dig it out with his hands after which he would study the rock then place it in a pile. He said that at the end, when they let him free, he had a whole pile of rocks to part with. He had explained how doing this exercise everyday gave him something to do with his mind and creating new circumstances to deal with kept his reasoning skills active and focused on more normal circumstances. Aubry found that to be truly inspirational and when she realized she was spending two whole hours of everyday focusing on the dirty cell and the other insane men around her. She'd better start building a fence. So she made her fence be chess, and the lawn, the uncontrollable force in this fantasy, her grandfather. She loved how their relationship had grown since she'd started imagining these games. She'd never had much of a chance to know him in real life, these imagined games let him be everything she ever wanted him to be and even more. She bet he never knew he had a Japanese pen pal in grammar school, back when air mail was a really big deal. She bet he never enjoyed playing any game as much as he enjoyed their games of chess as she rode her bike in to work.
That's usually what she did with her thoughts on the ride to work, but today was different. Today she felt the full force of the unfairness that is sometimes life. Today she wanted to be angry. Today she needed to feel angry and see the awfulness that had become modern day life. Today she wanted to reminisce on all the things she had seen in her life and connect them to the downfall of civilization. Today she was glad she had an hour on the bike in the cool and biting morning air to set fire to her soul and let the anger drive her. Today was the anniversary of his death.
She thought, today, about how things had changed in her life, in everyone's life. There had been an amazing moment in society when the technological advances had become so remarkable. People were ACTUALLY changing the world with words. But with all the money going into advertising and people losing time to ruminate over what is actually happening around them: communication eventually caused their demise. All the ads saying that we need we need we need this and we need we need we need that, we never had a chance to see for ourselves if we even wanted much less needed to have what they told us. We ran out of time every day, listening to the ads just made life easier. Slowly, trickle by trickle, almost all the clean water ran out. It all went down over the course of one decade. As they spewed waves of information, entertainment and opinion over us to wash our brains of all the worry, we lost sight of how to pay attention. Now there was hardly any usable water anywhere. The animals were dying, the plants were dying, the people... the people are dying. Now they're trying to figure out ways to clean the water or ways to survive without.
But he went first, he went before all of that. His death marked the turning point for the world. Her son, her truly magnificent son, lost to Death, that asshole! Oh, but what a wonder he was, her son. He could weave a smile on a fresh widow's face. His innocence bared honesty from even the best liars. If only he had lived past 11... What had it been, 10 years? 15? More? She had no idea, she was just angry.
He could have saved them all. He could have saved the world. He would have been able to crack the earth open with his bare hands and find clean water. He could have done it, he could have found magical, sparkling, beautiful, clean water - enough for everyone. He would have been able to protect it against all harm, keep it clean and replenished and safe without violence. That's how amazing he was. That's how amazing he had been. She reeled in fury over and over again as her feet pumped, letting the fire and brimstone curse everything along her path. Even her grandfather couldn't stop her from destroying her sanity today. No one could.
But this is only a short story. By me.
Today on her ride in she thought of how things used to be. As the air flowed around her, she reminisced cool, clear water flowing from the taps at home whenever she wished. It was like magic in her mind now, the way the liquid came out sparkling and crisp and clean and ready. She usually made a point of not thinking of these things, it made the world feel sad to her, and she had a day to get through.
She usually played a game of chess in her mind with her grandfather on the rides to work. He never played chess in real life that she knew of, but that made it all the more exciting and a never ending source of surprise and wonder when she would imagine the final scene in any game and the words "check" or "check mate" would come out of her mouth or out of his eternal unmoving ever so slightly smiling lips in her mind. She never really knew that much about her grandfather. It made her feel closer to him when she imagined these games they played. She had almost an hour of a ride to work each day. Imagining the chess games from start to finish made the ride seem quicker and took her mind off the fatigue and hunger and thirst. She could mull over each move for whole minutes at a time and contemplate what the next moves might be if she moved the rook here or had her grandfather jump the knight to over there. Playing chess made things as simple as the spokes turning round and round.
In the beginning, when things really started to go bad, when she started riding the bike to work in warm weather, she found herself obsessing over what went wrong and when and how and shame on those people. It was driving her insane and she was taking it out on everyone else. Her health was starting to deteriorate. At first she contributed it solely to the contamination, but then she started to realize her own role in the demise of her mental and physical health. A friend of hers recommended recreational thinking and meditating during downtime. The way he recommended it made her feel like she were in a prison and there was a special amount of time allotted to each day for thinking and such. This, in turn, brought her to a memory of school when her history teacher had brought in a guest; a Vietnam war vet. He told of how the other men around him went insane with nothing to do in a dirty cell everyday except pay attention to the dirty cell and all the other inane men around them. He explained that he came out virtually sane only because he imagined building a fence around his lawn back home. He would imagine going out every morning and measuring out the distance to the next post, get a shovel from the shed, start digging. Sometimes he'd hit a rock and have to dig it out with his hands after which he would study the rock then place it in a pile. He said that at the end, when they let him free, he had a whole pile of rocks to part with. He had explained how doing this exercise everyday gave him something to do with his mind and creating new circumstances to deal with kept his reasoning skills active and focused on more normal circumstances. Aubry found that to be truly inspirational and when she realized she was spending two whole hours of everyday focusing on the dirty cell and the other insane men around her. She'd better start building a fence. So she made her fence be chess, and the lawn, the uncontrollable force in this fantasy, her grandfather. She loved how their relationship had grown since she'd started imagining these games. She'd never had much of a chance to know him in real life, these imagined games let him be everything she ever wanted him to be and even more. She bet he never knew he had a Japanese pen pal in grammar school, back when air mail was a really big deal. She bet he never enjoyed playing any game as much as he enjoyed their games of chess as she rode her bike in to work.
That's usually what she did with her thoughts on the ride to work, but today was different. Today she felt the full force of the unfairness that is sometimes life. Today she wanted to be angry. Today she needed to feel angry and see the awfulness that had become modern day life. Today she wanted to reminisce on all the things she had seen in her life and connect them to the downfall of civilization. Today she was glad she had an hour on the bike in the cool and biting morning air to set fire to her soul and let the anger drive her. Today was the anniversary of his death.
She thought, today, about how things had changed in her life, in everyone's life. There had been an amazing moment in society when the technological advances had become so remarkable. People were ACTUALLY changing the world with words. But with all the money going into advertising and people losing time to ruminate over what is actually happening around them: communication eventually caused their demise. All the ads saying that we need we need we need this and we need we need we need that, we never had a chance to see for ourselves if we even wanted much less needed to have what they told us. We ran out of time every day, listening to the ads just made life easier. Slowly, trickle by trickle, almost all the clean water ran out. It all went down over the course of one decade. As they spewed waves of information, entertainment and opinion over us to wash our brains of all the worry, we lost sight of how to pay attention. Now there was hardly any usable water anywhere. The animals were dying, the plants were dying, the people... the people are dying. Now they're trying to figure out ways to clean the water or ways to survive without.
But he went first, he went before all of that. His death marked the turning point for the world. Her son, her truly magnificent son, lost to Death, that asshole! Oh, but what a wonder he was, her son. He could weave a smile on a fresh widow's face. His innocence bared honesty from even the best liars. If only he had lived past 11... What had it been, 10 years? 15? More? She had no idea, she was just angry.
He could have saved them all. He could have saved the world. He would have been able to crack the earth open with his bare hands and find clean water. He could have done it, he could have found magical, sparkling, beautiful, clean water - enough for everyone. He would have been able to protect it against all harm, keep it clean and replenished and safe without violence. That's how amazing he was. That's how amazing he had been. She reeled in fury over and over again as her feet pumped, letting the fire and brimstone curse everything along her path. Even her grandfather couldn't stop her from destroying her sanity today. No one could.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Day 80:
I'd like to take this opportunity to say first that I have faith in humanity. I am not a negative person, I try to see the good in every situation and I am most certainly the type of individual who can laugh through a surprising inconvenience. What, CRY over spilled milk? Oh hell, let's just laugh about it then work on cleaning the shit up. Let us definitely not get ANGRY about it - that gets on my nerves; the milk is ALREADY SPILLED, do you think your ANGER is going to magically clean it up and make it unspillable milk?
I mean, really...
But I will tell you one thing that makes me angry: People who blatantly make rude comments about others without regard to their feelings OR what they may have been through in their life previous to their rude and thoughtless behavior.
What is the point of that exactly, anyway? Does it really make someone feel GOOD to call someone else FAT in a parking lot? Really? I just don't understand it, and it totally pisses me off. So what if you think he's fat or she's fat: so what if he really IS FAT?!? What's it to you? You think they don't know? You think they really have no idea? Like it's not shoved in their face every single day. Give me a break, it's just stupid.
It's not just when they say the word "Fat" either, it's all kinds of stuff that sets me off.
You think it's a good idea to make fun of someone for what they're wearing? Maybe THEY think they look great and MAYBE it's not up to YOU to RUIN THEIR FUCKING DAY BY OPENING YOUR RIDICULOUS MOUTH!
Oh yeah, and how about those flamboyant personalities who can't help but be noticed from several feet away, you think it's doing anyone any good to call out the "F" word on them? Like they've gotten through their whole life so far without noticing they have a flamboyant way of being? Maybe they like who they are and maybe they don't but who the hell are YOU to go pinning stereotypes on people anyway? You think you're so freaking wonderful you get to call the shots? You're just showing your ignorance, self pity and stupidity, but for some reason it also affects others, usually negatively. What, misery loves company? How about you just try to buck up and do the right thing and make your own life better instead of dragging all these other nice people down with you in your little stenchy pool of stagnant piss.
I hope you, my reader aren't really that type. I just use the word "you" because it's easier that trying to find some other way to describe the person who partakes in this kind of awful activity.
Anyway, I still believe in the best of the human race, just getting a little aggression out.
On another note, anyone else enjoying the delicious apricots this season has had to offer? I don't recall them ever being so delicious as this before. Yesterday, I literally ate 8 of them. If you haven't tried any, I suggest you do. The US grown organic variety to be specific.
I mean, really...
But I will tell you one thing that makes me angry: People who blatantly make rude comments about others without regard to their feelings OR what they may have been through in their life previous to their rude and thoughtless behavior.
What is the point of that exactly, anyway? Does it really make someone feel GOOD to call someone else FAT in a parking lot? Really? I just don't understand it, and it totally pisses me off. So what if you think he's fat or she's fat: so what if he really IS FAT?!? What's it to you? You think they don't know? You think they really have no idea? Like it's not shoved in their face every single day. Give me a break, it's just stupid.
It's not just when they say the word "Fat" either, it's all kinds of stuff that sets me off.
You think it's a good idea to make fun of someone for what they're wearing? Maybe THEY think they look great and MAYBE it's not up to YOU to RUIN THEIR FUCKING DAY BY OPENING YOUR RIDICULOUS MOUTH!
Oh yeah, and how about those flamboyant personalities who can't help but be noticed from several feet away, you think it's doing anyone any good to call out the "F" word on them? Like they've gotten through their whole life so far without noticing they have a flamboyant way of being? Maybe they like who they are and maybe they don't but who the hell are YOU to go pinning stereotypes on people anyway? You think you're so freaking wonderful you get to call the shots? You're just showing your ignorance, self pity and stupidity, but for some reason it also affects others, usually negatively. What, misery loves company? How about you just try to buck up and do the right thing and make your own life better instead of dragging all these other nice people down with you in your little stenchy pool of stagnant piss.
I hope you, my reader aren't really that type. I just use the word "you" because it's easier that trying to find some other way to describe the person who partakes in this kind of awful activity.
Anyway, I still believe in the best of the human race, just getting a little aggression out.
On another note, anyone else enjoying the delicious apricots this season has had to offer? I don't recall them ever being so delicious as this before. Yesterday, I literally ate 8 of them. If you haven't tried any, I suggest you do. The US grown organic variety to be specific.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Day 79: Oh Syracuse... Part II
I apologize that it took 2 days to get this out, but we had a full day yesterday. Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!
So after our lovely little stay in Sunset Park about 25mi outside of Syracuse in Memphis, NY, we packed up our wet tent, our wet blankets and sleeping backs and our wet chairs and umbrellas and headed on into the 'Cuse.
Where we got lost. Repeatedly.
Yes, we had TWO GPS's, and there was really good signage, but for some reason or another, we just kept going round and round and round the same area of town. As with any other 'getting lost' kind of story, we weren't in the best part of town, but it wasn't especially scary because it was like 9:30am. We did get lots of interesting looks from the people we passed on the street. My guess is that they don't see many green Subaru Wagons around there.
It probably didn't help that we were either arguing excitedly (it's how we roll) or laughing hysterically (also how we roll).
Anyway, with some luck we found a nice little diner, GEM read the sign: where the eggs were perfectly poached, the hollandaise sauce was grainy, the home fries had no taste and the pineapple pancakes were pretty good. And we hadn't had warm food in 2 days, so it was a real treat. Funny thing: the parking lot was PACKED. I think it might have some kind of specialty, but we didn't know what it was and since we were the LEAST manicured people there, I don't think they wanted us hanging around. Who really knows.
Anyway, then it was time for the Rosamond Gifford Zoo which was a great time, worth the $ and got lots and lots of "Hiiiii Keeeteeee"s from Mira. Oh, yes and there were also "Hi KeeeKAT!"s, which is new, so we'll see.
The elephant was by far her favorite, she stared in awe at a creature so big and awesome. We didn't get to see the tiger, he was passed out and panting way down his hill - not accepting visitors. We did see the lions and the monkeys who put on quite a nice show right at the end of our visit. And I got to see a peacock completely feathered out for the first time. True, he kept his back to us the entire time, but I'd say it still counts.
So we left the zoo in search of a WalMart via GPS and we STILL got lost again! This was only momentary though and soon we saw across the underside of an overpass "NOTHING TO DO HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU" and on the other side the four seasons with various adjectives, the only two of which I can remember are "FALL LEAVES WINTER LONGS"
I found a little more out about that here:
http://www.9wsyr.com/news/local/story/A-Love-Letter-to-Syracuse-artist-paints-downtown/7zWcfS5lJkelY4UqqMAx-A.cspx
Pretty cool. I love art, but art for the masses AND their brains is the BEST!
So on the way to WalMart, we throw Brendan's shoes in the garbage because between never drying out from camping and then walking around the hot zoo all day, the smell like a dead animal and they need to be thrown away. Not two minutes after discussing a plan of action for me to go in, get Brendan a pair of shoes, bring them out and then we can all go into Wal Mart... MY SHOES BREAK! Okay, well, one shoe, but still, the signs don't say "No shoes No service, but One shoe is Okay". Now we needed a new plan of action. Which in the end included minor flip flop surgery, gorilla glue and running added to the first plan. Except I can't run, so the plan was amended in action.
In the end, we all got new shoes (Mira's were also soaked) and air conditioned relief from the heat and we left WalMart refreshed for the remaining 2 and a half hour drive home. Except it was longer than that because we stopped and ate lunch at the Cazenovia waterfront stop along the way.
Home again Home again, jiggity jig.
So after our lovely little stay in Sunset Park about 25mi outside of Syracuse in Memphis, NY, we packed up our wet tent, our wet blankets and sleeping backs and our wet chairs and umbrellas and headed on into the 'Cuse.
Where we got lost. Repeatedly.
Yes, we had TWO GPS's, and there was really good signage, but for some reason or another, we just kept going round and round and round the same area of town. As with any other 'getting lost' kind of story, we weren't in the best part of town, but it wasn't especially scary because it was like 9:30am. We did get lots of interesting looks from the people we passed on the street. My guess is that they don't see many green Subaru Wagons around there.
It probably didn't help that we were either arguing excitedly (it's how we roll) or laughing hysterically (also how we roll).
Anyway, with some luck we found a nice little diner, GEM read the sign: where the eggs were perfectly poached, the hollandaise sauce was grainy, the home fries had no taste and the pineapple pancakes were pretty good. And we hadn't had warm food in 2 days, so it was a real treat. Funny thing: the parking lot was PACKED. I think it might have some kind of specialty, but we didn't know what it was and since we were the LEAST manicured people there, I don't think they wanted us hanging around. Who really knows.
Anyway, then it was time for the Rosamond Gifford Zoo which was a great time, worth the $ and got lots and lots of "Hiiiii Keeeteeee"s from Mira. Oh, yes and there were also "Hi KeeeKAT!"s, which is new, so we'll see.
The elephant was by far her favorite, she stared in awe at a creature so big and awesome. We didn't get to see the tiger, he was passed out and panting way down his hill - not accepting visitors. We did see the lions and the monkeys who put on quite a nice show right at the end of our visit. And I got to see a peacock completely feathered out for the first time. True, he kept his back to us the entire time, but I'd say it still counts.
So we left the zoo in search of a WalMart via GPS and we STILL got lost again! This was only momentary though and soon we saw across the underside of an overpass "NOTHING TO DO HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH YOU" and on the other side the four seasons with various adjectives, the only two of which I can remember are "FALL LEAVES WINTER LONGS"
I found a little more out about that here:
http://www.9wsyr.com/news/local/story/A-Love-Letter-to-Syracuse-artist-paints-downtown/7zWcfS5lJkelY4UqqMAx-A.cspx
Pretty cool. I love art, but art for the masses AND their brains is the BEST!
So on the way to WalMart, we throw Brendan's shoes in the garbage because between never drying out from camping and then walking around the hot zoo all day, the smell like a dead animal and they need to be thrown away. Not two minutes after discussing a plan of action for me to go in, get Brendan a pair of shoes, bring them out and then we can all go into Wal Mart... MY SHOES BREAK! Okay, well, one shoe, but still, the signs don't say "No shoes No service, but One shoe is Okay". Now we needed a new plan of action. Which in the end included minor flip flop surgery, gorilla glue and running added to the first plan. Except I can't run, so the plan was amended in action.
In the end, we all got new shoes (Mira's were also soaked) and air conditioned relief from the heat and we left WalMart refreshed for the remaining 2 and a half hour drive home. Except it was longer than that because we stopped and ate lunch at the Cazenovia waterfront stop along the way.
Home again Home again, jiggity jig.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Day 77: Oh Syracuse...
Well, the camping excursion we had planned was not exactly what we thought it would be. Lovely as Sunset Park is on Cross Lake, it is mostly a summer vacation spot for people who pay a small amount year round to keep a lot there. These lots are all VERY close together and set up with RV's, and mobile homes with decks and flower gardens and whimsical signs and various doodads to make it look summery, vacationy and enjoyable. One thing's for sure: they enjoy it! Because all the sites are so close together and also because they have the tent sites right in the middle of all of them (it sort of felt like we were on display), we got to enjoy their partying until well after 1am. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining, I don't judge or want to take away from anybody's good time, but for all the noise, Mira thought SHE was at their party too! So WE were up until about 1am, and up pretty early (you know how tent camping is!).
Anyway, between all that, all the rain and the fact that Mira sustained her first big injury Friday night as I was packing - we ended our camping excursion early.
Let me just stop right there: Yep, Mira has her first big injury. I'm not making a big deal of it because if she's anything like me, my brother or MOST of the kids in the world: it won't be her last. She apparently found some glass with her foot and took a nice little chunk right off the bottom of her big toe. It's not a big deal though it looks pretty gruesome, and since she's been walking for 6months now I was just waiting for SOMETHING to happen. Anyway, with the wetness outside, we didn't feel comfortable letting her traipse around with her bandaged foot getting it all wet. The thing with that is that it just wouldn't ever dry staying in the bandage like that and that's bad news. Also, she loves to be cuddled, but DOES NOT want to be HELD CONSTANTLY and also got real tired of the tent real quick. So after much screaming and protesting on Saturday, we decided we'd leave Sunday, head for the Zoo and come on home afterward.
Which is what we did.
And if you want to know more about it, you're gonna have to check in tomorrow...
Anyway, between all that, all the rain and the fact that Mira sustained her first big injury Friday night as I was packing - we ended our camping excursion early.
Let me just stop right there: Yep, Mira has her first big injury. I'm not making a big deal of it because if she's anything like me, my brother or MOST of the kids in the world: it won't be her last. She apparently found some glass with her foot and took a nice little chunk right off the bottom of her big toe. It's not a big deal though it looks pretty gruesome, and since she's been walking for 6months now I was just waiting for SOMETHING to happen. Anyway, with the wetness outside, we didn't feel comfortable letting her traipse around with her bandaged foot getting it all wet. The thing with that is that it just wouldn't ever dry staying in the bandage like that and that's bad news. Also, she loves to be cuddled, but DOES NOT want to be HELD CONSTANTLY and also got real tired of the tent real quick. So after much screaming and protesting on Saturday, we decided we'd leave Sunday, head for the Zoo and come on home afterward.
Which is what we did.
And if you want to know more about it, you're gonna have to check in tomorrow...
Friday, August 5, 2011
Day 74: Lions and Tigers and Bears OH MY!
Okay, so we're not even camping yet and I'm already afraid of the wildlife... I had to dig out our camping gear from the big closet. This was no easy task as I had buried it and buried it and buried it since we moved into this apartment over a year and a half ago. Digging through layers of boxes 3 deep, I was afraid there might be a critter in there, holing up to keep cool from the heat. A silly thought, yeah, I admit that - irrational, absolutely, but no less real in my mind as I picked up, bent backwards, twisted into unrecognizable forms to clear one row, retrieve camping mats, pillows, backpack full of useful goods, and I don't even know what else WITHOUT attracting the attention of one 14mo old who can be very "helpful".
Whew! After all that, I sure hope I picked a good spot for us! It's our only getaway for the summer, three days in the wiles outside of Syracuse. In the midst of about 4 parks and forests, I'm hoping we can squeeze about a week's worth of vacation. Our summer so far seems to have been packed with hard work, rinse, repeat.
So yeah, I'm not sure what I thought was gonna come out of the dark cracks between boxes in the closet: a raccoon, a tiger, a bat or a rat, but I was terrified. I'm sure it'll be worth it come Tuesday morning when I have to put it all back again... Maybe I'll stack it a little closer to the front - that other crap's not going anywhere anytime soon.
Whew! After all that, I sure hope I picked a good spot for us! It's our only getaway for the summer, three days in the wiles outside of Syracuse. In the midst of about 4 parks and forests, I'm hoping we can squeeze about a week's worth of vacation. Our summer so far seems to have been packed with hard work, rinse, repeat.
So yeah, I'm not sure what I thought was gonna come out of the dark cracks between boxes in the closet: a raccoon, a tiger, a bat or a rat, but I was terrified. I'm sure it'll be worth it come Tuesday morning when I have to put it all back again... Maybe I'll stack it a little closer to the front - that other crap's not going anywhere anytime soon.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Day 71: Babies, Babies, BABIES!
You know, about two years before I had a pregnancy of my own, I looked around and saw ALL THESE PREGNANT WOMEN! At first I thought my biological clock was ticking... but then I checked and it wasn't. There really were so many pregnant women all over the place.
Then there were more.
Then there were more.
Then there were women with babies who were pregnant again.
Then there I was pregnant.
And I looked around and I saw even more pregnant women!
While I was pregnant!
Now I have a toddler (she's just over a year old, but, hey, she's walking so it counts!) and I look around and there are STILL all these pregnant women!
Hell, two of the men I work with (that's two out of about 40) are expecting in a few weeks.
Anyway, all these babies. And it's NOT my imagination just because I'm a 30something female and all that jazz. I know that because me, in all my paranoia and nosieness asks around "Is it me, or are there a LOT of pregnant women and babies walking around lately?" So far, everyone agrees "Yes, Misty, there are a LOT of pregnant women and babies around these days. More so than in years past."
Are we in the midst of another baby boom?
Then there were more.
Then there were more.
Then there were women with babies who were pregnant again.
Then there I was pregnant.
And I looked around and I saw even more pregnant women!
While I was pregnant!
Now I have a toddler (she's just over a year old, but, hey, she's walking so it counts!) and I look around and there are STILL all these pregnant women!
Hell, two of the men I work with (that's two out of about 40) are expecting in a few weeks.
Anyway, all these babies. And it's NOT my imagination just because I'm a 30something female and all that jazz. I know that because me, in all my paranoia and nosieness asks around "Is it me, or are there a LOT of pregnant women and babies walking around lately?" So far, everyone agrees "Yes, Misty, there are a LOT of pregnant women and babies around these days. More so than in years past."
Are we in the midst of another baby boom?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Day 69:
Listen I know everything's already been done and there are no "new" ideas and all that. I know it's been that way for years.
But sometimes I see examples of things being repeated and I'm shocked. Why is that?
For instance, I've been watching the show ThirtySomething from the late 80's early 90's. I don't actually watch television, but I dabble in Hulu when I can't sleep and, well, I haven't been sleeping much lately. So yeah. Many of the subject they talk about concerning social reform and environmental safety open my eyes to the fact that I am NOT the first mother to buy organic food for my toddler, I am NOT the first mother to be concerned with petitions and polutions, Brendan and I are NOT the first couple to toy with lots of different ideas surrounding our financial and work states. Hell we're not the first couple to hate each other sometimes.
I forget the particular instance, and believe me I really do know Brendan and I aren't the first couple in the world - much less the first couple to have all the crazy ideas we have, but something one of the couples did literally made me gasp. Not because what they were doing was SO crazy but because it's something Brendan and I do, or have done or something like that. I never knew anyone else to do that! (again, I don't remember what it was at all) It was just the idea that SOME ONE ELSE was doing that very thing! Not only that, but someone on a TELEVISION SHOW! That means that not only has someone else done that very thing, but then either they wrote about it, someone they know wrote about it or someone who knows someone they know wrote about it. Or, even if no "real" couple exists that went through or did this particular thing (gosh, I do wish I could remember what that thing was, but I'm not rewatching any of the episodes to find out), someone made it up in a believable way which generally means that it has happened or almost happened or happens all the time - writers write about what they know.
Short story long, I don't know why I was so incredibly SHOCKED to see first hand (or whatever hand television gives you) that Brendan and I are SO not original. It was a little crazy.
Oh, and another thing. I went to look at the family games section at WalMart the other day while Brendan was asking the friendly personnel at the Tire Shop a question. There are some interesting looking games out there, and I really wanted to try at least one of them out (like we have the time), but they were almost $30! Ouch!
When did family games get so expensive? And why!?!
That's it for today.
But sometimes I see examples of things being repeated and I'm shocked. Why is that?
For instance, I've been watching the show ThirtySomething from the late 80's early 90's. I don't actually watch television, but I dabble in Hulu when I can't sleep and, well, I haven't been sleeping much lately. So yeah. Many of the subject they talk about concerning social reform and environmental safety open my eyes to the fact that I am NOT the first mother to buy organic food for my toddler, I am NOT the first mother to be concerned with petitions and polutions, Brendan and I are NOT the first couple to toy with lots of different ideas surrounding our financial and work states. Hell we're not the first couple to hate each other sometimes.
I forget the particular instance, and believe me I really do know Brendan and I aren't the first couple in the world - much less the first couple to have all the crazy ideas we have, but something one of the couples did literally made me gasp. Not because what they were doing was SO crazy but because it's something Brendan and I do, or have done or something like that. I never knew anyone else to do that! (again, I don't remember what it was at all) It was just the idea that SOME ONE ELSE was doing that very thing! Not only that, but someone on a TELEVISION SHOW! That means that not only has someone else done that very thing, but then either they wrote about it, someone they know wrote about it or someone who knows someone they know wrote about it. Or, even if no "real" couple exists that went through or did this particular thing (gosh, I do wish I could remember what that thing was, but I'm not rewatching any of the episodes to find out), someone made it up in a believable way which generally means that it has happened or almost happened or happens all the time - writers write about what they know.
Short story long, I don't know why I was so incredibly SHOCKED to see first hand (or whatever hand television gives you) that Brendan and I are SO not original. It was a little crazy.
Oh, and another thing. I went to look at the family games section at WalMart the other day while Brendan was asking the friendly personnel at the Tire Shop a question. There are some interesting looking games out there, and I really wanted to try at least one of them out (like we have the time), but they were almost $30! Ouch!
When did family games get so expensive? And why!?!
That's it for today.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Day 68:It's about TIME!
Aaaaaalllllright!
I know, I know, it's been 24 days since my last blog, you've lost interest and how can I expect you to get interested again?
Well, you don't have to and it's really none of my business what you're into!
;^P
Not to make excuses, but I would like to share my experience of the last oh, 3+ weeks.
First things first, I got my period. Normally that's not such a big deal, but this was the first period since I got pregnant with Mira - so it's been a while.
And boy oh boy was it making up for lost time. Every symptom started the week before and some are still lingering today.
Mostly the depression and insomnia have been the biggest factors.
Lucky me, I didn't get much in the way of postpartum depression, but these last three weeks have really been harsh enough to make up for that.
And I can't sleep. Unless it's during the day which is completely useful (not!) Two hours each night if I'm lucky. I can sleep around 8 or 9pm, but I'm up by 11 for sure - and I'm awake all night. I wouldn't mind except I can't get much done during those late evening and super early mornings while it's still dark out or I might wake my sweetly sleeping counterparts.
To boot, Mira's still teething molars which makes the poor girl miserable and since we do not use any chemicals for her (ambesol), the only solace she gets is from nursing. Two days this week, last week and the week before (for some reason she prefers Tuesday and Wednesday) she nursed literally every half hour for about 12 hours minus two 40min naps. If you don't know, producing milk is a very tiresome and fatiguing business - totally worth it, but shit, I don't have energy for anything else!
AHHHH!
Ohkay, well, I think that's good enough for one day.
Ya'll take care & I'll be back tomorrow, I'm sure.
Lots of love and I missed writing for sure.
I know, I know, it's been 24 days since my last blog, you've lost interest and how can I expect you to get interested again?
Well, you don't have to and it's really none of my business what you're into!
;^P
Not to make excuses, but I would like to share my experience of the last oh, 3+ weeks.
First things first, I got my period. Normally that's not such a big deal, but this was the first period since I got pregnant with Mira - so it's been a while.
And boy oh boy was it making up for lost time. Every symptom started the week before and some are still lingering today.
Mostly the depression and insomnia have been the biggest factors.
Lucky me, I didn't get much in the way of postpartum depression, but these last three weeks have really been harsh enough to make up for that.
And I can't sleep. Unless it's during the day which is completely useful (not!) Two hours each night if I'm lucky. I can sleep around 8 or 9pm, but I'm up by 11 for sure - and I'm awake all night. I wouldn't mind except I can't get much done during those late evening and super early mornings while it's still dark out or I might wake my sweetly sleeping counterparts.
To boot, Mira's still teething molars which makes the poor girl miserable and since we do not use any chemicals for her (ambesol), the only solace she gets is from nursing. Two days this week, last week and the week before (for some reason she prefers Tuesday and Wednesday) she nursed literally every half hour for about 12 hours minus two 40min naps. If you don't know, producing milk is a very tiresome and fatiguing business - totally worth it, but shit, I don't have energy for anything else!
AHHHH!
Ohkay, well, I think that's good enough for one day.
Ya'll take care & I'll be back tomorrow, I'm sure.
Lots of love and I missed writing for sure.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Day 44: Independence Day (no, not the movie)
So yesterday, my small family and I went to the big O-town celebration for our nation's Independence Day. It was one of those things where any of the area non-profit organizations capable of having a booth, had one set up for food, beverages or even games (I do wish there were more games!). There were also inflated jumping toys for the kids (I think there were about eight of those), and plenty of walking and sitting around room for the adults. At about 7:30, the Fire Rescue Team of Oneonta, "Fire Safety" taped off an area of the park in anticipation for the fireworks.
We had just set up our viewing area along with Brendan's mother and prepared to wait. It's more than waiting in a crowd like that - I love that kind of thing because it means you can people watch! It's always an opportunity for me to see something new - like an under 10 year old carrying a newborn, which a little shocking until you see the mother snatch the baby away from him and carry the baby WAY less affectionately than the boy had. We also took that opportunity to get ice cream and a second round of food from the vendors. We ate the ice cream first, and it was delicious! I also had Speedie's for the first time thanks to the Rotary "Shelter Box" vendor, also quite delicious! Mira played with a little almost 3 year old boy just slightly taller than her, which was very sweet and entertaining.
I almost forgot to tell you about the biggest attraction there, aside from the fireworks! They had a stage! Well, 2 stages, really. The big stage was all set up for bands, the first of which was really very progressive for Oneonta, we thought. They were a teenage jam band. If you're not familiar with jam bands, it's a band of musicians who know how to play their instruments very well and basically just do that for swaths of time. Some jam band songs can last for a half an hour. I think this first band only actually sang 4 songs in their hour and a half on stage - it was refreshing to hear MUSIC instead of all the familiar songs you can sing to and you know how to dance to. When they were done there was a second, smaller stage where some real live Cloggers from Milford, NY entertained the crowd with their very cute matching dresses with bloomers and tapshoes and even a little doggy trick side show. Then it was back to the main stage for a karaoke style (we think she was an American Idol hopeful or local winner) singer. After that, there was your typical, good, middle-aged all male band presenting the tunes everyone could either sing along with or dance to with some ease and familiarity. Following this act: FIREWORKS!
The fireworks did not start until about 9:30/9:45, a bit later than the advertised time, but hell, we'd been there most of the day, so what's another half an hour? Besides, the prime people watching available was really easy on passing the time. Once they started, though, it was definitely showtime. The fireworks were nice with a really kick ass finale. Nothing much compared to the fireworks show's I grew up going to in Oklahoma, but better than no fireworks at all to be sure. I think they were definitely trying to space it out though, as there were sometimes full minutes spaced between each set off. This silence of "boom"s and "screech"es provided ample opportunity to hear the soundtrack blaring from the stage. There were some of the old standby's like "Proud to be an American" and such. One song stuck out though that I thought was VERY interesting - especially right now when some states are completely rewriting their immigrant laws: "Coming to America". I got a little chuckle out of it and it spawned an interesting conversation in the car ride home between Brendan and I, but I just wondered what made "them" (whoever "they" are) chose THAT as one of the songs. Maybe to spawn interesting conversations on the car ride home? Or to take a stance against these new immigrant laws? Either way, you cannot doubt the controversial nature of the song in our particular time. I was pleasantly surprised about NOT hearing any people spouting off about how much they disliked certain someones' "Coming to America".
Then again; that's a great sign of a truly kick-ass finale.
We had just set up our viewing area along with Brendan's mother and prepared to wait. It's more than waiting in a crowd like that - I love that kind of thing because it means you can people watch! It's always an opportunity for me to see something new - like an under 10 year old carrying a newborn, which a little shocking until you see the mother snatch the baby away from him and carry the baby WAY less affectionately than the boy had. We also took that opportunity to get ice cream and a second round of food from the vendors. We ate the ice cream first, and it was delicious! I also had Speedie's for the first time thanks to the Rotary "Shelter Box" vendor, also quite delicious! Mira played with a little almost 3 year old boy just slightly taller than her, which was very sweet and entertaining.
I almost forgot to tell you about the biggest attraction there, aside from the fireworks! They had a stage! Well, 2 stages, really. The big stage was all set up for bands, the first of which was really very progressive for Oneonta, we thought. They were a teenage jam band. If you're not familiar with jam bands, it's a band of musicians who know how to play their instruments very well and basically just do that for swaths of time. Some jam band songs can last for a half an hour. I think this first band only actually sang 4 songs in their hour and a half on stage - it was refreshing to hear MUSIC instead of all the familiar songs you can sing to and you know how to dance to. When they were done there was a second, smaller stage where some real live Cloggers from Milford, NY entertained the crowd with their very cute matching dresses with bloomers and tapshoes and even a little doggy trick side show. Then it was back to the main stage for a karaoke style (we think she was an American Idol hopeful or local winner) singer. After that, there was your typical, good, middle-aged all male band presenting the tunes everyone could either sing along with or dance to with some ease and familiarity. Following this act: FIREWORKS!
The fireworks did not start until about 9:30/9:45, a bit later than the advertised time, but hell, we'd been there most of the day, so what's another half an hour? Besides, the prime people watching available was really easy on passing the time. Once they started, though, it was definitely showtime. The fireworks were nice with a really kick ass finale. Nothing much compared to the fireworks show's I grew up going to in Oklahoma, but better than no fireworks at all to be sure. I think they were definitely trying to space it out though, as there were sometimes full minutes spaced between each set off. This silence of "boom"s and "screech"es provided ample opportunity to hear the soundtrack blaring from the stage. There were some of the old standby's like "Proud to be an American" and such. One song stuck out though that I thought was VERY interesting - especially right now when some states are completely rewriting their immigrant laws: "Coming to America". I got a little chuckle out of it and it spawned an interesting conversation in the car ride home between Brendan and I, but I just wondered what made "them" (whoever "they" are) chose THAT as one of the songs. Maybe to spawn interesting conversations on the car ride home? Or to take a stance against these new immigrant laws? Either way, you cannot doubt the controversial nature of the song in our particular time. I was pleasantly surprised about NOT hearing any people spouting off about how much they disliked certain someones' "Coming to America".
Then again; that's a great sign of a truly kick-ass finale.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day 42: WTF is going on around here?
Uh, so I just found out that the state of Minnesota basically shut down? How the heck is that possible? I mean, really? Is there a point at which they will reopen? How does a state close? I don't get it, and I think it's actually pretty scary. Are they going to start taking volunteers soon?
And I heard Connecticut is next?
I don't know, people, this is not sounding like something we should just be shrugging our shoulders and letting happen without any reaction... Did I miss the reaction?
I feel like I'm asking if I missed the revolution.
A revolution would be really, really hard to miss because revolutions CHANGE things. Oh, but Minnesota, the STATE, being closed is a pretty big change. So who's running the revolution? And what, exactly, is their end goal? And why do states need to shut down because of it?
I am freaking out, in case you can't tell.
The worst part about all of this... in my opinion... is that I don't know about it, but I've seen so much of the damned Casey Anthony trial (though I don't know anything because I wasn't paying attention) because the news networks are showing it non stop! Why is THAT so compelling anyway? She's just some random citizen who may or may not have killed her own child, which pretty much (sadly) happens at least once a month, I'm sure. What's so special about THIS case? And why was there a dowsing rod expert? Is this THE trial of the century? Already in 2011? Is this particular trial going to change the way our society lives in ANY WAY?
Then WHY the fuck are we WATCHING IT!?!?!
Okay, so, now I'm freaked out AND a little angry.
I think it's time for a nap.
Or maybe some Shelly Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater (yeah, it's awesome) from Hulu.
Yeah, that will help my destress.
And I heard Connecticut is next?
I don't know, people, this is not sounding like something we should just be shrugging our shoulders and letting happen without any reaction... Did I miss the reaction?
I feel like I'm asking if I missed the revolution.
A revolution would be really, really hard to miss because revolutions CHANGE things. Oh, but Minnesota, the STATE, being closed is a pretty big change. So who's running the revolution? And what, exactly, is their end goal? And why do states need to shut down because of it?
I am freaking out, in case you can't tell.
The worst part about all of this... in my opinion... is that I don't know about it, but I've seen so much of the damned Casey Anthony trial (though I don't know anything because I wasn't paying attention) because the news networks are showing it non stop! Why is THAT so compelling anyway? She's just some random citizen who may or may not have killed her own child, which pretty much (sadly) happens at least once a month, I'm sure. What's so special about THIS case? And why was there a dowsing rod expert? Is this THE trial of the century? Already in 2011? Is this particular trial going to change the way our society lives in ANY WAY?
Then WHY the fuck are we WATCHING IT!?!?!
Okay, so, now I'm freaked out AND a little angry.
I think it's time for a nap.
Or maybe some Shelly Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater (yeah, it's awesome) from Hulu.
Yeah, that will help my destress.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Day 39: I miss my baby...
It's sometimes the weirdest thing, having a kid.
I adore, absolutely adore and love my child. She is sweet, bold, independent, smart, and amazing. That said, there are certainly some days that are harder than others. Some days, sweet Mira, is so unhappy for one reason or another (didn't sleep well, teething, growth spurts, uncomfortable in some way, hungry, you name it). Even those days, I cannot get enough of her.
Sometimes, I load her into the car and we head out for this place or that and I fear I left her at home because she isn't RIGHT THERE. She is quietly watching the goings on of the world outside from her carseat, but I panic, thinking I forgot her altogether! It's silly and I know that; irrational. But for some reason, if she isn't right there where I can pick her up and hold her if I want, I sort of freak out for a minute and have to calm myself again.
Like right now: Brendan took her to his mother's house for a little while so I could get some work done. Very thoughtful of him, indeed. But I just frantically reached out to feel for her in the middle of working on something! I miss my baby! This bond is ridiculously strong! Sometimes even when I'm at work, I almost believe I can feel her calling out for me or just longing for an embrace from me. And then I am longing to hold her and hear her talking or screaming or singing or even crying, I don't care how I get her, I just want her.
Don't get me wrong - it IS good to get away sometimes. But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of her or missing her while we are apart...
Being a mom is very crazy.
I adore, absolutely adore and love my child. She is sweet, bold, independent, smart, and amazing. That said, there are certainly some days that are harder than others. Some days, sweet Mira, is so unhappy for one reason or another (didn't sleep well, teething, growth spurts, uncomfortable in some way, hungry, you name it). Even those days, I cannot get enough of her.
Sometimes, I load her into the car and we head out for this place or that and I fear I left her at home because she isn't RIGHT THERE. She is quietly watching the goings on of the world outside from her carseat, but I panic, thinking I forgot her altogether! It's silly and I know that; irrational. But for some reason, if she isn't right there where I can pick her up and hold her if I want, I sort of freak out for a minute and have to calm myself again.
Like right now: Brendan took her to his mother's house for a little while so I could get some work done. Very thoughtful of him, indeed. But I just frantically reached out to feel for her in the middle of working on something! I miss my baby! This bond is ridiculously strong! Sometimes even when I'm at work, I almost believe I can feel her calling out for me or just longing for an embrace from me. And then I am longing to hold her and hear her talking or screaming or singing or even crying, I don't care how I get her, I just want her.
Don't get me wrong - it IS good to get away sometimes. But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of her or missing her while we are apart...
Being a mom is very crazy.
Day 38: And now for something completely different
So, first I'd like to tell you a story about the laundromat, yep, the laundromat. I had laundry (I always do!) to do. I took Mira because I couldn't leave her at home alone, a blessing and a curse at the same time. Since it's gotten hot, they've been rigging the door open so you can't shut it even if you wanted too - also a blessing and a curse. The blessing being the fresh air, the curse being that I can't put Mira down because she RUNS straight out and into the parking lot. Not such a great idea for a just barely 1 year old, but so far I can't seem to talk her out of it. That being said, I obviously can't put her down, I have to carry her constantly. Let me tell you that carrying an over 20lb, squirming, squealing baby is no easy task when carrying a laundry basket, getting change loading soap and quarters AND clothes into an about waist high hole for a front loader. So at some point, in front of the washing mashing, loading one thing or another, I leaned in to get closer to the washer. Mira must have leaned in right then too, because I felt a little jerk in her body that let me know she hit something, a shoulder or arm or maybe even a cheek or something. I looked her over to make sure she was okay and she was. The girl didn't even seem phased one bit. Just then, from across the laundromat, I heard "OH MY GOSH! SHE HIT THE BABY'S FACE ON THE CORNER! SHE HIT THE BABY'S FACE ON THE CORNER OF THE WASHING MACHINE!"
It was being yelled shrilly.
It was an older woman, and the longer I think about it the longer I'm convinced she never had any kids of her own. Anyone with kids would know that it was nothing to worry about or spend any time fretting over.
I looked up, there were a lot of people in that small laundromat. I found the face the loud obnoxious and humiliating accusation came out of. Her face was distorted with worry. I really wanted to answer something loudly back, but thought maybe she didn't deserve that. In a world of child abuse and neglect, it is perfectly reasonable for her to overreact to my daughter's very slight head bumping. Humiliated as I was, it was really hard to calmly reassure her that Mira was fine, see, she's fine, look, she hasn't even noticed that anything happened, that is how minor that was, so you can go on about your business.
So that's my little story.
And now, I'd like to share something with you!
If you are buying your coleslaw dressing - STOP! You can make it yourself WAY cheaper, it's very easy AND it is all great ingredients without msg or preservatives or any of that crap. You'll be amazed how easy it is once you try it yourself and you'll wonder why you were buying that crap before.
You will need:
a whisk
a bowl
sugar
white vinegar
water
mayonnaise (real mayonnaise)
salt
pepper
Since I don't know how much coleslaw you are making, I cannot tell you exact measurements BUT don't be discouraged! Just try this and see what happens!
Mix equal parts water, vinegar and sugar in your bowl with the whisk (maybe try about 1tbs of each first). When the sugar is dissolved, add 3 parts mayo (so if you used 1tbsp of water, 1tbsp sugar & 1 tbsp vinegar, you would add 3 tbsp mayonnaise), whisk.
Taste it. Salt and pepper to taste (I prefer A LOT of pepper). If the consistency is a little thinner than you'd like, add a little more mayo (1tbsp at a time).
Some people like to add some Cheyenne pepper to taste or even horseradish, have fun with it; it's YOUR recipe! It takes, maybe, 1 minute and cents to make. When you're done mixing it all in with your cabbage and whatever you like in your slaw, you can say with all of your heart that YOU made this coleslaw.
It's a great feeling.
It was being yelled shrilly.
It was an older woman, and the longer I think about it the longer I'm convinced she never had any kids of her own. Anyone with kids would know that it was nothing to worry about or spend any time fretting over.
I looked up, there were a lot of people in that small laundromat. I found the face the loud obnoxious and humiliating accusation came out of. Her face was distorted with worry. I really wanted to answer something loudly back, but thought maybe she didn't deserve that. In a world of child abuse and neglect, it is perfectly reasonable for her to overreact to my daughter's very slight head bumping. Humiliated as I was, it was really hard to calmly reassure her that Mira was fine, see, she's fine, look, she hasn't even noticed that anything happened, that is how minor that was, so you can go on about your business.
So that's my little story.
And now, I'd like to share something with you!
If you are buying your coleslaw dressing - STOP! You can make it yourself WAY cheaper, it's very easy AND it is all great ingredients without msg or preservatives or any of that crap. You'll be amazed how easy it is once you try it yourself and you'll wonder why you were buying that crap before.
You will need:
a whisk
a bowl
sugar
white vinegar
water
mayonnaise (real mayonnaise)
salt
pepper
Since I don't know how much coleslaw you are making, I cannot tell you exact measurements BUT don't be discouraged! Just try this and see what happens!
Mix equal parts water, vinegar and sugar in your bowl with the whisk (maybe try about 1tbs of each first). When the sugar is dissolved, add 3 parts mayo (so if you used 1tbsp of water, 1tbsp sugar & 1 tbsp vinegar, you would add 3 tbsp mayonnaise), whisk.
Taste it. Salt and pepper to taste (I prefer A LOT of pepper). If the consistency is a little thinner than you'd like, add a little more mayo (1tbsp at a time).
Some people like to add some Cheyenne pepper to taste or even horseradish, have fun with it; it's YOUR recipe! It takes, maybe, 1 minute and cents to make. When you're done mixing it all in with your cabbage and whatever you like in your slaw, you can say with all of your heart that YOU made this coleslaw.
It's a great feeling.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Day 36: Art for $ sake
So I've had John Lennon's Working Class Hero in my head for days:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKwXwU5iWs
Here are the lyrics:
As soon as your born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you're so clever and classless and free,
But you're still fucking peasents as far as I can see,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
There's room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
A working class hero is something to be.
A working class hero is something to be.
If you want to be a hero well just follow me,
If you want to be a hero well just follow me.
I love the perplexity this song leaves me with. And I find I'm trying to justify my own personal decisions while listening to it: "but, but I don't subscribe to the bullshit! I quit schools - a few of them! I denounce proclaiming my worth with pieces of paper whether in the form of diplomas or certificates or dollar bills! I AM a working class hero! And I still don't know how to follow you!" seems to play on repeat in my brain while I listen and for quite a while thereafter.
And then I listen to it again.
And again.
And I dissect each line like it's a religion to be studied and followed.
I do this because, well, he plainly states that something is to be achieved if I do "follow him". I believe that if I DO follow him by subscribing to this song... well... then I somehow am able to denounce the fear, the religion, the classes, the sex, the oppression, the time restrictions/constrictions, the failure, all that. But then I realize that I'm not so sure I believe the author himself was a working class hero. Was he?
I don't know.
I don't even know what that means.
By the time I run all this around in my brain, I don't even know whether BEING one is a good thing or a bad thing. Then I always come to the same sobering, cooling, sweaty realization: it doesn't even matter.
I guess in the scheme of things, it really is just art. Meant to perplex and educate and fulfill and to provoke anger towards "those bastards" who do the spreading of fear through religion, class, sex, time restrictions/constrictions by differentiating us with who is worthy, who is not and who is successful and who is a failure.
I'll tell you one thing: I have succeeded in my life! I am exactly who and WHAT I want to be and I love where I am, who I am and who I am with (more often than not!). I work to feel worthy (the money helps, no doubt) of my own food and shelter and contributions to my community, and my self worth is gauged solely on my own parameters!
This is where I sigh the sigh of relief and listen to the song one last time and the tumult of emotions that plagued me before turn to soft resignation and a deep sigh. I let the relief wash over me as I move on into the next thing.
Whew! I thought my brain might explode there for a minute!
And to be sure: I'm not against education - I love to learn and increase my knowledge. I disagree with the idea that a person's worth is measured by whether they followed a program to completion in order to receive a piece of paper. I disagree with the fact that people cannot usually even just try to DO what they love, they have to jump like a monkey and go through the hoops to prove they are worthy of doing what they love. I disagree because it has turned much of our societies into groups of people who just want more and more paper, oh the paper, gimme the diplomas, lemme have the certificates, then I'll get the money the money the money. It's all paper, where did the love go? And what happened to the value in following your heart? What happened to the integrity of the soul?
I'm sure, if you made it all the way through this, you are probably right in touch with your heart and soul and you have no trouble doing what you love all whilst expressing it.
LOVE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lKwXwU5iWs
Here are the lyrics:
As soon as your born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV,
And you think you're so clever and classless and free,
But you're still fucking peasents as far as I can see,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
There's room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
A working class hero is something to be.
A working class hero is something to be.
If you want to be a hero well just follow me,
If you want to be a hero well just follow me.
I love the perplexity this song leaves me with. And I find I'm trying to justify my own personal decisions while listening to it: "but, but I don't subscribe to the bullshit! I quit schools - a few of them! I denounce proclaiming my worth with pieces of paper whether in the form of diplomas or certificates or dollar bills! I AM a working class hero! And I still don't know how to follow you!" seems to play on repeat in my brain while I listen and for quite a while thereafter.
And then I listen to it again.
And again.
And I dissect each line like it's a religion to be studied and followed.
I do this because, well, he plainly states that something is to be achieved if I do "follow him". I believe that if I DO follow him by subscribing to this song... well... then I somehow am able to denounce the fear, the religion, the classes, the sex, the oppression, the time restrictions/constrictions, the failure, all that. But then I realize that I'm not so sure I believe the author himself was a working class hero. Was he?
I don't know.
I don't even know what that means.
By the time I run all this around in my brain, I don't even know whether BEING one is a good thing or a bad thing. Then I always come to the same sobering, cooling, sweaty realization: it doesn't even matter.
I guess in the scheme of things, it really is just art. Meant to perplex and educate and fulfill and to provoke anger towards "those bastards" who do the spreading of fear through religion, class, sex, time restrictions/constrictions by differentiating us with who is worthy, who is not and who is successful and who is a failure.
I'll tell you one thing: I have succeeded in my life! I am exactly who and WHAT I want to be and I love where I am, who I am and who I am with (more often than not!). I work to feel worthy (the money helps, no doubt) of my own food and shelter and contributions to my community, and my self worth is gauged solely on my own parameters!
This is where I sigh the sigh of relief and listen to the song one last time and the tumult of emotions that plagued me before turn to soft resignation and a deep sigh. I let the relief wash over me as I move on into the next thing.
Whew! I thought my brain might explode there for a minute!
And to be sure: I'm not against education - I love to learn and increase my knowledge. I disagree with the idea that a person's worth is measured by whether they followed a program to completion in order to receive a piece of paper. I disagree with the fact that people cannot usually even just try to DO what they love, they have to jump like a monkey and go through the hoops to prove they are worthy of doing what they love. I disagree because it has turned much of our societies into groups of people who just want more and more paper, oh the paper, gimme the diplomas, lemme have the certificates, then I'll get the money the money the money. It's all paper, where did the love go? And what happened to the value in following your heart? What happened to the integrity of the soul?
I'm sure, if you made it all the way through this, you are probably right in touch with your heart and soul and you have no trouble doing what you love all whilst expressing it.
LOVE!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Day 35: Been slipping up!
So I initiated this blog to be an every day thing. As you can see if you look over to the list (or scroll down) there are some days missing, Day 34, Day 32. I'm sure you can find the rest on your own.
I attribute this to MANY factors, most of which lead to the same end result: I run out of day before I get to the blog. Oh, you want reasons? Work, class, house chores, Mira, sleep, research, social life, Brendan, writer's block and uhm, oh, I don't know: I forgot.
In honor of these things, I pose a question:
WHY IS IT SO FUHREAKING DIFFICULT TO JUGGLE EVERYTHING?
And before you ask, no, of course I am not literally juggling my daughter and her father - or anything else for that matter.
I multi-task (which I hear is actually detrimental to overall achievability), I make lists, I try (and I mean I really, really do try, damnit) all with moderate success.
Surely I'm not alone in the feeling that I just don't get as much accomplished as I plan for myself, right? Don't most people have this feeling at the end of the day and as a result, strive to wake up early and get a good start on the next day?
I mean, is THIS what keeps us GOING?
Is a general sense of FAILURE what gets us MOTIVATED at the start of our day? Okay, well maybe not direct failure, but maybe the FEAR of failure? Is it?
Are fear and failure our main source of motivation?
I think I must be confused (and tired, and a little headachey), because for some reason that is all making total sense to me right now.
On some other level (waaaaay over there, yep, that one WAAAYY over there) I don't think that's right at all, I think it is the promise of hope and potential success that gets us motivated every day. Or the love we feel for the people in our lives and the need to be happy so they can be happy as a part of our lives could also be a major contributor to motivation.
I don't know (as you can tell, I'm sure).
But what I do know is that whatever causes motivation seems to evade me all together sometimes. I think about things I should or could be doing and then I think about how I would or could or should be doing them and THEN I think about how motivated I am toward doing them or getting them done. Generally if I think in my head that I could get away with NOT doing them (only when my motivation is low) for whatever reason, I don't. I just don't.
For instance, I once had to take 26 loads of laundry to the laundromat.
Oh yeah, you read that right: 26 (the big two-six; twenty six) loads of laundry. Because I was not motivated for, like 3 months (I don't know, it could have been more, I wasn't motivated at all, so I wasn't counting things either). That was embarrassing.
For real.
I attribute this to MANY factors, most of which lead to the same end result: I run out of day before I get to the blog. Oh, you want reasons? Work, class, house chores, Mira, sleep, research, social life, Brendan, writer's block and uhm, oh, I don't know: I forgot.
In honor of these things, I pose a question:
WHY IS IT SO FUHREAKING DIFFICULT TO JUGGLE EVERYTHING?
And before you ask, no, of course I am not literally juggling my daughter and her father - or anything else for that matter.
I multi-task (which I hear is actually detrimental to overall achievability), I make lists, I try (and I mean I really, really do try, damnit) all with moderate success.
Surely I'm not alone in the feeling that I just don't get as much accomplished as I plan for myself, right? Don't most people have this feeling at the end of the day and as a result, strive to wake up early and get a good start on the next day?
I mean, is THIS what keeps us GOING?
Is a general sense of FAILURE what gets us MOTIVATED at the start of our day? Okay, well maybe not direct failure, but maybe the FEAR of failure? Is it?
Are fear and failure our main source of motivation?
I think I must be confused (and tired, and a little headachey), because for some reason that is all making total sense to me right now.
On some other level (waaaaay over there, yep, that one WAAAYY over there) I don't think that's right at all, I think it is the promise of hope and potential success that gets us motivated every day. Or the love we feel for the people in our lives and the need to be happy so they can be happy as a part of our lives could also be a major contributor to motivation.
I don't know (as you can tell, I'm sure).
But what I do know is that whatever causes motivation seems to evade me all together sometimes. I think about things I should or could be doing and then I think about how I would or could or should be doing them and THEN I think about how motivated I am toward doing them or getting them done. Generally if I think in my head that I could get away with NOT doing them (only when my motivation is low) for whatever reason, I don't. I just don't.
For instance, I once had to take 26 loads of laundry to the laundromat.
Oh yeah, you read that right: 26 (the big two-six; twenty six) loads of laundry. Because I was not motivated for, like 3 months (I don't know, it could have been more, I wasn't motivated at all, so I wasn't counting things either). That was embarrassing.
For real.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Day 33: "You have to live outside of society to live a healthy lifestyle."
I had an interesting talk with someone this week about being healthy.
Being healthy shouldn't be that hard. If you think about it, really, it is so difficult. Our society is made up of 'convenience' and that convenience is so poor in quality that you really do pay a price for convenience. Some people are shedding decades off their life in the name of convenience. This is a very difficult concept to swallow.
But it's true. How many people do you know who are in very poor health around 50? My guess is, quite a few. How many of those people eat fast food daily, or even more than twice a week? Cook in plastic? Use aspartame sweetened products? What about processed foods that contain partially hydrogenated oils? Fried foods? Microwaved foods?
I don't disagree that a little convenience is great - but did you know that you lose HALF of your nutrients in food in the first 10 seconds of microwaving?
Or did you know that when you cook in plastic - microwave or other - the petroleum chemicals used in the plastic (which are mostly carcinogenic), leech into your food?
How about the fact that partially hydrogenated oils came about being used in foods just years before the obesity epidemic started, did you know that?
Sure, a few fast food burgers there, some microwaved soup there, it's no big deal. But most of our population does at least one of these things A DAY. No wonder we are dying sooner, deteriorating in health earlier and spending WAY WAY WAY more cash on healthcare.
All this is going on daily and people are getting pissed about airport security. Isn't our day to day health just slightly more important? Isn't the fact that I lost my Granny too young more important than that? We deserve to live reasonably long, healthy lives, don't we?
But someone said something to me the other day that sort of resonated with me. After mulling it over for a few days, I find it to be completely true:
You have to live as an outsider of society in order to live a healthy lifestyle.
It's true. How many people think organic food is "posh". Why? Because it doesn't contain harmful chemicals that can lead to normal bodily function breakdowns? Because it's the healthiest option? Because it's $0.20 more per pound?
Or take my choice to have a "natural birth", a good deal of my friends treated it like it was out of line and unreasonable that I should "want to go through all of that". Nevermind all the health implications that go with a medically assisted birth, I felt as though I was being treated like I was cutting my tongue off!
Then there is the whole breastfeeding thing. So many people rolled their eyes or acted like I was just being difficult when I said that my daughter didn't take a bottle. But the thing is; she refused the bottle from 3weeks on! I breastfed her (and still do at certain times of the day) because it is better for her body, better for her brain and believe it or not; better for her socially. It's also had wonderful reprecutions for me - it took almost 6 months before my uterus went back down, I cant imagine what it would have been like had I not breastfed. And I STILL haven't had a period - I can't tell you how awesome THAT is! And good for my family history of cancers. Not to mention my daughter has NEVER had a fever... Maybe once, she was almost to 99degrees. She has had a couple of minor colds and she got 5ths disease (which EVERYONE gets at one point in their life).
I guess I could go on and on. I don't mean to chastise anyone. I feel like the mainstream ideals are just unhealthy and misleading. I do feel apart from most folks because I am conscientious about my way of life and about what I feed myself and my family. Don't get me wrong, I'll do a frozen pizza here and there: but it's rare, not my way of life. I guess I feel that people aren't really given the opportunities to really LOOK at their habits and see how unhealthy they are. They just see (and I know from experience) what is convenient, what is easy and what is cheap and think "It MUST be okay or it wouldn't be available for me to buy" or "Of COURSE these large label companies have my best interest at heart: they want to keep me as a customer!" You might find, if you really research, that they possibly DON'T care and they are more likely counting on your blind trust and ignorance.
Being healthy shouldn't be that hard. If you think about it, really, it is so difficult. Our society is made up of 'convenience' and that convenience is so poor in quality that you really do pay a price for convenience. Some people are shedding decades off their life in the name of convenience. This is a very difficult concept to swallow.
But it's true. How many people do you know who are in very poor health around 50? My guess is, quite a few. How many of those people eat fast food daily, or even more than twice a week? Cook in plastic? Use aspartame sweetened products? What about processed foods that contain partially hydrogenated oils? Fried foods? Microwaved foods?
I don't disagree that a little convenience is great - but did you know that you lose HALF of your nutrients in food in the first 10 seconds of microwaving?
Or did you know that when you cook in plastic - microwave or other - the petroleum chemicals used in the plastic (which are mostly carcinogenic), leech into your food?
How about the fact that partially hydrogenated oils came about being used in foods just years before the obesity epidemic started, did you know that?
Sure, a few fast food burgers there, some microwaved soup there, it's no big deal. But most of our population does at least one of these things A DAY. No wonder we are dying sooner, deteriorating in health earlier and spending WAY WAY WAY more cash on healthcare.
All this is going on daily and people are getting pissed about airport security. Isn't our day to day health just slightly more important? Isn't the fact that I lost my Granny too young more important than that? We deserve to live reasonably long, healthy lives, don't we?
But someone said something to me the other day that sort of resonated with me. After mulling it over for a few days, I find it to be completely true:
You have to live as an outsider of society in order to live a healthy lifestyle.
It's true. How many people think organic food is "posh". Why? Because it doesn't contain harmful chemicals that can lead to normal bodily function breakdowns? Because it's the healthiest option? Because it's $0.20 more per pound?
Or take my choice to have a "natural birth", a good deal of my friends treated it like it was out of line and unreasonable that I should "want to go through all of that". Nevermind all the health implications that go with a medically assisted birth, I felt as though I was being treated like I was cutting my tongue off!
Then there is the whole breastfeeding thing. So many people rolled their eyes or acted like I was just being difficult when I said that my daughter didn't take a bottle. But the thing is; she refused the bottle from 3weeks on! I breastfed her (and still do at certain times of the day) because it is better for her body, better for her brain and believe it or not; better for her socially. It's also had wonderful reprecutions for me - it took almost 6 months before my uterus went back down, I cant imagine what it would have been like had I not breastfed. And I STILL haven't had a period - I can't tell you how awesome THAT is! And good for my family history of cancers. Not to mention my daughter has NEVER had a fever... Maybe once, she was almost to 99degrees. She has had a couple of minor colds and she got 5ths disease (which EVERYONE gets at one point in their life).
I guess I could go on and on. I don't mean to chastise anyone. I feel like the mainstream ideals are just unhealthy and misleading. I do feel apart from most folks because I am conscientious about my way of life and about what I feed myself and my family. Don't get me wrong, I'll do a frozen pizza here and there: but it's rare, not my way of life. I guess I feel that people aren't really given the opportunities to really LOOK at their habits and see how unhealthy they are. They just see (and I know from experience) what is convenient, what is easy and what is cheap and think "It MUST be okay or it wouldn't be available for me to buy" or "Of COURSE these large label companies have my best interest at heart: they want to keep me as a customer!" You might find, if you really research, that they possibly DON'T care and they are more likely counting on your blind trust and ignorance.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Day 31: There's work to be done
First things first: There aren't many websites I spread around, but the one's I do, I only do because I use them often. I'm about to share a link here. The link I'm sure you will find helpful, but really the WHOLE site is worth checking out. I subscribe to their email list and I find it COMPLETELY useful. So:
http://www.learnvest.com/living-frugally/current-events/freeze-summer-for-later-765/?utm_source=email&utm_medium=lvdaily&utm_campaign=c=guide#top-block
Click it, use it, like it, you got it.
Now, I'd like to mention something that I feel very personal about.
As most of you know, I'm going through a training course to become a certified Doula. In my training I am learning much. Some of which being the true differences and benefits from natural birth and breastfeeding versus other options. While I wholeheartedly agree that every woman has the right to make her own decision for her birth, I do not feel like most women are given the opportunity to KNOW what each choice means.
I know I didn't know. I just thought I had a choice and whatever I decided was related to how I wanted to experience my baby's birth and ONLY related to that. Not true. I won't get into the specifics, but I will get into the fact that I was GIVEN the opportunity to LEARN about not only the different options I had but also the different resources.
I was given this opportunity from month 4 to my 9th month of pregnancy. At the time, Bassett (or my midwife at least) was trialing a program called Centering Pregnancy (http://www.centeringhealthcare.org/pages/centering-model/pregnancy-overview.php).
Centering Pregnancy is a revolutionary way of getting and providing prenatal care. Instead of 15-20 minute visits with your Midwife or OB, you get two hour sessions. It's great! All the vitals are checked, BP, weight, baby's heartbeat, all that stuff, then everyone (pregnant women and partners) gathers in a sort of round table discussion about where they are that week, how they see their pregnancy going, birthing choices, postpartum depression, diet, exercise, neonatal care, mom's healing time, grandparents, aunts/uncles, siblings, birth control, emotions, relationships, diapering, the labor and birth process; pretty much EVERYTHING pregnancy, labor and new baby. By the time I had Mira, I had about 5 months worth of training and education on not only having her, but caring for her too.
It was invaluable. And amazing. I still hang out with some of the women from my group which allows us to continue our learning experiences through one another as well as giving us other parents to talk to about our struggles with our child (or children).
Now that I've explained what Centering Pregnancy is, and what it meant for me... Well, I have bad news. For some reason Bassett turned down an over $40k grant and discontinued the program.
I am devastated.
This program was amazing for me, my daughter, my partner and I know the other couples felt the same way.
I don't know why Bassett terminated the group. I could speculate that they felt like they had given the midwives too much leeway (they used to have about as much pull as an OB). I could speculate that they need revenue after building the new unit, so they are taking measures to increase the epidural and c-section rate (both have gone UP since Centering was terminated - oh, and Bassett went for more of a medical model for labor and delivery than the previous birth center protocol). I could even speculate that they just really don't care about the education of pregnant women and their partners.
I don't know why they terminated the program. I do know that the Centering Pregnancy program is making some amazing growth across the country due to the fact that women who go through it have healthier, fuller term babies, their labor experience is generally better (more women feel better about their experience, there are less c-sections and epidurals), there is also an increase in breastfeeding which is beneficial to both mom and baby.
SO, all this to tell you all that I am making a commitment to my community and the community surrounding mine. I want to create a program for pregnant women which offers these same benefits. I will offer educational materials, I will offer my expert opinions and advice, and I will provide group settings in which women and their partners can discuss what this information means to them.
I just need to finish my certification program.
There is work to be done.
http://www.learnvest.com/living-frugally/current-events/freeze-summer-for-later-765/?utm_source=email&utm_medium=lvdaily&utm_campaign=c=guide#top-block
Click it, use it, like it, you got it.
Now, I'd like to mention something that I feel very personal about.
As most of you know, I'm going through a training course to become a certified Doula. In my training I am learning much. Some of which being the true differences and benefits from natural birth and breastfeeding versus other options. While I wholeheartedly agree that every woman has the right to make her own decision for her birth, I do not feel like most women are given the opportunity to KNOW what each choice means.
I know I didn't know. I just thought I had a choice and whatever I decided was related to how I wanted to experience my baby's birth and ONLY related to that. Not true. I won't get into the specifics, but I will get into the fact that I was GIVEN the opportunity to LEARN about not only the different options I had but also the different resources.
I was given this opportunity from month 4 to my 9th month of pregnancy. At the time, Bassett (or my midwife at least) was trialing a program called Centering Pregnancy (http://www.centeringhealthcare.org/pages/centering-model/pregnancy-overview.php).
Centering Pregnancy is a revolutionary way of getting and providing prenatal care. Instead of 15-20 minute visits with your Midwife or OB, you get two hour sessions. It's great! All the vitals are checked, BP, weight, baby's heartbeat, all that stuff, then everyone (pregnant women and partners) gathers in a sort of round table discussion about where they are that week, how they see their pregnancy going, birthing choices, postpartum depression, diet, exercise, neonatal care, mom's healing time, grandparents, aunts/uncles, siblings, birth control, emotions, relationships, diapering, the labor and birth process; pretty much EVERYTHING pregnancy, labor and new baby. By the time I had Mira, I had about 5 months worth of training and education on not only having her, but caring for her too.
It was invaluable. And amazing. I still hang out with some of the women from my group which allows us to continue our learning experiences through one another as well as giving us other parents to talk to about our struggles with our child (or children).
Now that I've explained what Centering Pregnancy is, and what it meant for me... Well, I have bad news. For some reason Bassett turned down an over $40k grant and discontinued the program.
I am devastated.
This program was amazing for me, my daughter, my partner and I know the other couples felt the same way.
I don't know why Bassett terminated the group. I could speculate that they felt like they had given the midwives too much leeway (they used to have about as much pull as an OB). I could speculate that they need revenue after building the new unit, so they are taking measures to increase the epidural and c-section rate (both have gone UP since Centering was terminated - oh, and Bassett went for more of a medical model for labor and delivery than the previous birth center protocol). I could even speculate that they just really don't care about the education of pregnant women and their partners.
I don't know why they terminated the program. I do know that the Centering Pregnancy program is making some amazing growth across the country due to the fact that women who go through it have healthier, fuller term babies, their labor experience is generally better (more women feel better about their experience, there are less c-sections and epidurals), there is also an increase in breastfeeding which is beneficial to both mom and baby.
SO, all this to tell you all that I am making a commitment to my community and the community surrounding mine. I want to create a program for pregnant women which offers these same benefits. I will offer educational materials, I will offer my expert opinions and advice, and I will provide group settings in which women and their partners can discuss what this information means to them.
I just need to finish my certification program.
There is work to be done.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Day 29: It was a year ago today
It was a year ago today that I woke up at 5:30am on the dot with my first contraction. By 1:48pm, there was a beautiful crying baby in my arms. She came out aware as any newborn could possibly be and today, on her first birthday she is capable of running, talking, effectively communicating emotion through inflection and making her parents so happy they can hardly stand it.
She is amazing.
And nature must think so too, for she gave Mira a gift today too!
Allergies!
Yes, folks, it is apparently so: runny nose, constant sneezing, puffy and watery eyes. The whole bit, I'm afraid. Mira has allergies much like both of her parents had as children. Lucky for us, we both grew out of them, but she's got well over a decade and a half to go with them if she's got to keep them.
But don't be fooled by the patheticness of her sweet little puffy eyes and runny nose and pouty lips, this girl is STILL HAPPY! Sure, she can't quite dance when she wants to as her equilibrium is off due to mucous build up, but she still tries, falls, gets back up and stumbles on to the next activity.
Can't get that girl down!
And it occurred to me that she may no longer actually be my BABY, but rather my TODDLER at this point. I don't know the rules here; they seem a little hazy to me.
Well, regardless. The work load for my department has been a bit lacking so I've been working half days. I'm sure I'll suffer the consequences when payday rolls around, but it is oh so sweet to get out earlier than usual on a beautiful, sunshiny day like the ones we've been having.
Happy Birthday My Beautiful Darling. I love you so much.
She is amazing.
And nature must think so too, for she gave Mira a gift today too!
Allergies!
Yes, folks, it is apparently so: runny nose, constant sneezing, puffy and watery eyes. The whole bit, I'm afraid. Mira has allergies much like both of her parents had as children. Lucky for us, we both grew out of them, but she's got well over a decade and a half to go with them if she's got to keep them.
But don't be fooled by the patheticness of her sweet little puffy eyes and runny nose and pouty lips, this girl is STILL HAPPY! Sure, she can't quite dance when she wants to as her equilibrium is off due to mucous build up, but she still tries, falls, gets back up and stumbles on to the next activity.
Can't get that girl down!
And it occurred to me that she may no longer actually be my BABY, but rather my TODDLER at this point. I don't know the rules here; they seem a little hazy to me.
Well, regardless. The work load for my department has been a bit lacking so I've been working half days. I'm sure I'll suffer the consequences when payday rolls around, but it is oh so sweet to get out earlier than usual on a beautiful, sunshiny day like the ones we've been having.
Happy Birthday My Beautiful Darling. I love you so much.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Day 28: Happy Father's Day
Hey, Daddies, you are awesome, Happy You Day.
I don't wanna hear about "But I'm not a Daddy"
Because in some way or another, you are.
A daddy takes care of someone or some thing that otherwise would perish.
So if you have a dog, a cat, a fish, a rabbit, a lizard, a plant, even a gleam in your eye - you are a father.
Oh yes, even a gleam in the eye counts. Do you know why? Because every day you forge forward in this life, you are in training for the time that comes when you WILL be a daddy; even if it's for a dog, cat, fish, lizard or plant. You are building experience that you can pass down or use to protect your charge.
So be proud, be loving, be amazing: YOU ARE DAD!
My daddy is awesome. I've laughed with him, cried with him, yelled at him, been yelled at him, drank beer with him, stayed up WAY too late listening to records with him, learned about the world with him, formed my opinions with him, been the recipient of yellow roses for friendship from him on birthdays. He warms my heart, makes me laugh, encourages me to tell jokes and be funny. From him I learned that every day - EVERY SINGLE DAY - is another opportunity to be loved, be loving, accept fault and to be kinder than necessary. From my father, I learned how to be a mother.
I love you, Dad!
Oh, and if anyone wants to know: you can make your own salsa at home. All you need is:
some kind of food processor or blender
some tomatoes
about a quarter of an onion per 4-5 tomatoes
probably half a pepper per 4-5 tomatoes
1tsp per 4-5 tomatoes
1tbsp olive oil per
1tbsp white vinegar per
Blend it all up, baby and you have some kick ASS home made salsa to impress all your friends with at all those parties you go to! ;)
I don't wanna hear about "But I'm not a Daddy"
Because in some way or another, you are.
A daddy takes care of someone or some thing that otherwise would perish.
So if you have a dog, a cat, a fish, a rabbit, a lizard, a plant, even a gleam in your eye - you are a father.
Oh yes, even a gleam in the eye counts. Do you know why? Because every day you forge forward in this life, you are in training for the time that comes when you WILL be a daddy; even if it's for a dog, cat, fish, lizard or plant. You are building experience that you can pass down or use to protect your charge.
So be proud, be loving, be amazing: YOU ARE DAD!
My daddy is awesome. I've laughed with him, cried with him, yelled at him, been yelled at him, drank beer with him, stayed up WAY too late listening to records with him, learned about the world with him, formed my opinions with him, been the recipient of yellow roses for friendship from him on birthdays. He warms my heart, makes me laugh, encourages me to tell jokes and be funny. From him I learned that every day - EVERY SINGLE DAY - is another opportunity to be loved, be loving, accept fault and to be kinder than necessary. From my father, I learned how to be a mother.
I love you, Dad!
Oh, and if anyone wants to know: you can make your own salsa at home. All you need is:
some kind of food processor or blender
some tomatoes
about a quarter of an onion per 4-5 tomatoes
probably half a pepper per 4-5 tomatoes
1tsp per 4-5 tomatoes
1tbsp olive oil per
1tbsp white vinegar per
Blend it all up, baby and you have some kick ASS home made salsa to impress all your friends with at all those parties you go to! ;)
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Day 27: The fountain of youth
Another day passed, another one added to the memory banks.
Mira will be 1 on Monday, that's the day after tomorrow. Soon enough it'll be yesterday then last week, then a month ago... Then, it will be next year.
I
I'm at a loss for words about all of it right now. Maybe it's the chili I made sitting right at my throat for lack of a cold drink to wash it down (room temp water just doesn't cut it for me). Maybe I'm just tired.
Or
Maybe I'm just like a good many of the parents out there who are in utter disbelief about the major transformation my life is going through day to day. I'm in utter disbelief that now the passing time takes with it more opportunities to enjoy my growing child.
The way she IS, soon becomes the way she WAS.
Now I understand the fountain of youth. I never cared before, never understood the idea of wanting to stay young. Except now I see it quite differently. Now I see it as an opportunity for me to enjoy the youth of my daughter - maybe I could find the fountain and keep her young so the enjoyment of who she is never leaves me.
I know it doesn't work that way. Without hindsight, how could I ache for "the good ole times"?
All I can say is: at least I know what I've got and I DO take every opportunity to enjoy the ever lovin' begeezers out of that little girl. And I look forward to the next day with hope and I look back at the last one with amazement.
Growing old is fine, watching my daughter grow up is beautiful.
Mira will be 1 on Monday, that's the day after tomorrow. Soon enough it'll be yesterday then last week, then a month ago... Then, it will be next year.
I
I'm at a loss for words about all of it right now. Maybe it's the chili I made sitting right at my throat for lack of a cold drink to wash it down (room temp water just doesn't cut it for me). Maybe I'm just tired.
Or
Maybe I'm just like a good many of the parents out there who are in utter disbelief about the major transformation my life is going through day to day. I'm in utter disbelief that now the passing time takes with it more opportunities to enjoy my growing child.
The way she IS, soon becomes the way she WAS.
Now I understand the fountain of youth. I never cared before, never understood the idea of wanting to stay young. Except now I see it quite differently. Now I see it as an opportunity for me to enjoy the youth of my daughter - maybe I could find the fountain and keep her young so the enjoyment of who she is never leaves me.
I know it doesn't work that way. Without hindsight, how could I ache for "the good ole times"?
All I can say is: at least I know what I've got and I DO take every opportunity to enjoy the ever lovin' begeezers out of that little girl. And I look forward to the next day with hope and I look back at the last one with amazement.
Growing old is fine, watching my daughter grow up is beautiful.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Day 26: Some days are just better than others
Yes, some days are just better than others and today was right in the middle.
Part of me loves days like this, where not much excitement happened one way or the other, and things went along without much of a hitch.
I got all of my coursework finished for the week, got Mira's food prepared for the weekend, passed my quiz for this weeks study material, did a little (I said a LITTLE) housework and got some plans for next week in motion. I'd say it was a pretty good day.
I know I thought of more productive things to mention earlier, but the mediocre day got away with me and now I just can't remember.
So
Have a great night and a wonderful day, I'm gonna try to get some rest as I have to get up at 3:30 in the morning for work.
Part of me loves days like this, where not much excitement happened one way or the other, and things went along without much of a hitch.
I got all of my coursework finished for the week, got Mira's food prepared for the weekend, passed my quiz for this weeks study material, did a little (I said a LITTLE) housework and got some plans for next week in motion. I'd say it was a pretty good day.
I know I thought of more productive things to mention earlier, but the mediocre day got away with me and now I just can't remember.
So
Have a great night and a wonderful day, I'm gonna try to get some rest as I have to get up at 3:30 in the morning for work.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Day 25: It's official
I am officially raising a hoodlum. The poor kid never stood a chance did she? I mean, with a punk like me for a momma. I dress "normal" and all that, but deep down inside is a raging punk girl who says ftw and you too.
Maybe I'm being a little dramatic.
Here's the deal:
Mira said shit. Not once or twice or even three times, but REPEATEDLY. And a little voice somewhere inside me said "YAY!" as I giggled uncontrollably. Don't worry, I turned my face so as not to encourage such a thing, but really - aren't there WAY more important things I need to worry about? Honestly, I think "proper language" is pretty low on my list of things to teach her. Grammar being one, correct verbage being another. I, personally don't mind if she uses a swear word as long as she uses it correctly in a sentence. Is that so wrong?
Besides, half the people (only half) I hear complaining about cuss words coming out the mouths of babes have much more serious issues going on in their lives like addiction, abuse, laziness or just down right bad manners. True there are some words that should never EVER be used as they carry an entire history of murder, mistreatment and oppression with them. But shit? Shit's no big deal.
I remember when I was a kid, some kids got sent home for cussing, but not for bullying or being mean or lying or sometimes even for fighting. There's something wrong there.
Besides.
She's not purposefully saying shit.
She's trying to say something else altogether, but it's coming out sounding like shit, literally.
Anyone familiar with Cake's song "Nugget"?
Well, if you aren't you should be - there will be (and I promise this) a day when you want it for your own.
Here, check it out, but don't listen with any kids around: it's catchy and they WILL repeat it.
Cake: Nugget -----From the album Fashion Nugget
Maybe I'm being a little dramatic.
Here's the deal:
Mira said shit. Not once or twice or even three times, but REPEATEDLY. And a little voice somewhere inside me said "YAY!" as I giggled uncontrollably. Don't worry, I turned my face so as not to encourage such a thing, but really - aren't there WAY more important things I need to worry about? Honestly, I think "proper language" is pretty low on my list of things to teach her. Grammar being one, correct verbage being another. I, personally don't mind if she uses a swear word as long as she uses it correctly in a sentence. Is that so wrong?
Besides, half the people (only half) I hear complaining about cuss words coming out the mouths of babes have much more serious issues going on in their lives like addiction, abuse, laziness or just down right bad manners. True there are some words that should never EVER be used as they carry an entire history of murder, mistreatment and oppression with them. But shit? Shit's no big deal.
I remember when I was a kid, some kids got sent home for cussing, but not for bullying or being mean or lying or sometimes even for fighting. There's something wrong there.
Besides.
She's not purposefully saying shit.
She's trying to say something else altogether, but it's coming out sounding like shit, literally.
Anyone familiar with Cake's song "Nugget"?
Well, if you aren't you should be - there will be (and I promise this) a day when you want it for your own.
Here, check it out, but don't listen with any kids around: it's catchy and they WILL repeat it.
Cake: Nugget -----From the album Fashion Nugget
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Day 23:
Quick, hurry! It's almost 11o'clock! Only an hour left to write today's stuff!
Okay, so today wasn't THAT exciting. To tell the truth, it wasn't exciting at all. I did course work for my certification all day (after I slept in of course) then took Mira to the grocery store for some shopping. I got out and about too late to make it to the Natural Foods Store, but there's always tomorrow.
I made a vat of tuna fish salad, which turned out deliciously. I put more sour cream than mayo in it so it's a bit on the healthier side as far as that goes. And I tried dates instead of sugar in my smoothie today and IT WAS YUMMY! I felt good about giving Mira some too, since there was no sugar, all fructose goodness.
Part of my training is reading and homework and essays and stuff like that, but part of it is watching videos of all different types. Some are about physiology some are about psychology, some are medical and some are theoretical. I watched one today that blew my mind, I loved it. It was about how the birth actually affects the human psyche. In our culture, in the last 75 years or so, the medical industry has claimed that giving birth is a science and it needs to be measured for abnormalities and dealt with clinically. Some psychologists, birth specialists and midwives are saying that isn't so. They say that the change in our birthing style is part of what has caused all the trauma to our teens, leading to a much higher teen suicide rate than ever before. They say it also adds to the inclined violence more prevalent today than in days past. They say, and there is research to back this up, that the infant (fetus, whatever) is responsive to stimulus inside the womb which tells us they have a sense of awareness even then. They claim that not only the trauma attached with a birth, but the first half hour after birth affect an infant so much that if these things have a negative affect it takes months if not years to make it right. They say that infants who are taken to a nursery still bond, just not with people, they bond with walls, with the bin they are placed in and with the machinery around them. These babies will have a much harder time creating personal relationships throughout their lives.
Isn't that interesting?
I believe it. It seems very accurate and it makes a lot of sense. The first hours we are entering and actually enter the world are our introduction to it. You never get a second chance to make a first impression and some people start out with a BAD impression that all they will get in life is cold machinery and metal, rough handling, slapping, and to be left alone. Pretty sad, no wonder some people turn out to be psychopaths.
Okay, so today wasn't THAT exciting. To tell the truth, it wasn't exciting at all. I did course work for my certification all day (after I slept in of course) then took Mira to the grocery store for some shopping. I got out and about too late to make it to the Natural Foods Store, but there's always tomorrow.
I made a vat of tuna fish salad, which turned out deliciously. I put more sour cream than mayo in it so it's a bit on the healthier side as far as that goes. And I tried dates instead of sugar in my smoothie today and IT WAS YUMMY! I felt good about giving Mira some too, since there was no sugar, all fructose goodness.
Part of my training is reading and homework and essays and stuff like that, but part of it is watching videos of all different types. Some are about physiology some are about psychology, some are medical and some are theoretical. I watched one today that blew my mind, I loved it. It was about how the birth actually affects the human psyche. In our culture, in the last 75 years or so, the medical industry has claimed that giving birth is a science and it needs to be measured for abnormalities and dealt with clinically. Some psychologists, birth specialists and midwives are saying that isn't so. They say that the change in our birthing style is part of what has caused all the trauma to our teens, leading to a much higher teen suicide rate than ever before. They say it also adds to the inclined violence more prevalent today than in days past. They say, and there is research to back this up, that the infant (fetus, whatever) is responsive to stimulus inside the womb which tells us they have a sense of awareness even then. They claim that not only the trauma attached with a birth, but the first half hour after birth affect an infant so much that if these things have a negative affect it takes months if not years to make it right. They say that infants who are taken to a nursery still bond, just not with people, they bond with walls, with the bin they are placed in and with the machinery around them. These babies will have a much harder time creating personal relationships throughout their lives.
Isn't that interesting?
I believe it. It seems very accurate and it makes a lot of sense. The first hours we are entering and actually enter the world are our introduction to it. You never get a second chance to make a first impression and some people start out with a BAD impression that all they will get in life is cold machinery and metal, rough handling, slapping, and to be left alone. Pretty sad, no wonder some people turn out to be psychopaths.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Day 22: Drown in sugar?
So tonight might be the first time where both Brendan and I are exhausted and barely able (if able at all) to entertain Mira. And she is WOUND UP! I'm hoping if I do a little writing, I will wake up a bit since Brendan is totally zonked out at the moment.
I guess it's appropriate that this would be a moment where I miss my friends, and my old lifestyle. I feel like I've not missed them nearly as much as I do right now... It's another transition phase where I've gone in one direction with my life that doesn't really allow for the instances in which my friends were regularly in my life. I'm making new friends, and so far, I really do love them all... But I already have relationships with the old friends! It's so hard to establish a knowledge base for new people in your life! Especially when you're still trying to build your life.
I see a lot of people who seem to already have built their lives. I started all that, then I did a re-do, then I did another re-do, and now I'm really actually committed to the life I'm building. Entrepreneur, warehouse worker, mother, writer, lover, changer of the world: I can totally live with all of that - I've always lived a multifaceted life. It feels a little frustrating when I look around and see the lovely people who have already worked so hard and are now reaping the benefits of the seeds they sewn.
Anyway, now for a bitch session; it's been a while.
Say someone asks you a question (about another person) you are not only not comfortable answering fully, but you just will NOT put yourself in the position to gossip and spread shit. Regardless of how true it is, let's just say you aren't willing to do that. So, say, you tell this person such. For instance, someone asked such a question of me, I replied with "Uh, I will say I think (he) is sleazy, but I'm not going to say anything else because I don't want to get caught up in any gossiping or rumor spreading."
If someone said that to me, I would respect their thought, move on and leave the issue alone. But in my experience today, that is not what happened. The person went on and on, saying suggestive things that so-n-so could have done and playing the "Am I right?" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* game. Which is not a game to me, I really find it disrespectful and rude. Four times, I had to repeat myself, FOUR TIMES, saying that I was not going to add to any gossip or anything about (him), all I will say is that I find (him) to be sleazy. Four times. Don't you think that's overkill?
I think it's too much. I don't take someone's reputation lightly when it falls in my hands to trash or uphold. Especially when faced with someone else trying to badger me into doing one or the other. It's not only not fair, moral or justified, it's fishing.
Which brings me to my last bit of ... last bit of... stuff.
Did you know the Domino sugar factory is in Baltimore? Did you know they have huge piles of sugar all day long (I'm assuming only in good weather?) resting at the dock and you can watch the crane (or what ever the machine is) pick up gobfulls of sugar and drop it into (I'm guessing) a hopper? Doesn't that sound so crazy and make you want to see the sugar shenanigans? And what if you FELL in the big pile of sugar? Would you drown? Or suffocate? Is it like quicksand?
I guess it's appropriate that this would be a moment where I miss my friends, and my old lifestyle. I feel like I've not missed them nearly as much as I do right now... It's another transition phase where I've gone in one direction with my life that doesn't really allow for the instances in which my friends were regularly in my life. I'm making new friends, and so far, I really do love them all... But I already have relationships with the old friends! It's so hard to establish a knowledge base for new people in your life! Especially when you're still trying to build your life.
I see a lot of people who seem to already have built their lives. I started all that, then I did a re-do, then I did another re-do, and now I'm really actually committed to the life I'm building. Entrepreneur, warehouse worker, mother, writer, lover, changer of the world: I can totally live with all of that - I've always lived a multifaceted life. It feels a little frustrating when I look around and see the lovely people who have already worked so hard and are now reaping the benefits of the seeds they sewn.
Anyway, now for a bitch session; it's been a while.
Say someone asks you a question (about another person) you are not only not comfortable answering fully, but you just will NOT put yourself in the position to gossip and spread shit. Regardless of how true it is, let's just say you aren't willing to do that. So, say, you tell this person such. For instance, someone asked such a question of me, I replied with "Uh, I will say I think (he) is sleazy, but I'm not going to say anything else because I don't want to get caught up in any gossiping or rumor spreading."
If someone said that to me, I would respect their thought, move on and leave the issue alone. But in my experience today, that is not what happened. The person went on and on, saying suggestive things that so-n-so could have done and playing the "Am I right?" *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* game. Which is not a game to me, I really find it disrespectful and rude. Four times, I had to repeat myself, FOUR TIMES, saying that I was not going to add to any gossip or anything about (him), all I will say is that I find (him) to be sleazy. Four times. Don't you think that's overkill?
I think it's too much. I don't take someone's reputation lightly when it falls in my hands to trash or uphold. Especially when faced with someone else trying to badger me into doing one or the other. It's not only not fair, moral or justified, it's fishing.
Which brings me to my last bit of ... last bit of... stuff.
Did you know the Domino sugar factory is in Baltimore? Did you know they have huge piles of sugar all day long (I'm assuming only in good weather?) resting at the dock and you can watch the crane (or what ever the machine is) pick up gobfulls of sugar and drop it into (I'm guessing) a hopper? Doesn't that sound so crazy and make you want to see the sugar shenanigans? And what if you FELL in the big pile of sugar? Would you drown? Or suffocate? Is it like quicksand?
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Day 21: What's that saying?
Some days you bite the bear, some days the bear bites you?
Some days you bite the tiger, some days he bites back?
What is it?
I obviously don't know, but I'll tell you what I do know for sure:
I STRUGGLE with my diet - by "diet" in this sense I don't mean "I'm on a diet" (even though I am, sort of), I mean my overall, general eating habits. I would like to eat healthy, I read labels, I do like healthy food and I often stop myself from eating unhealthy food. But, like, right NOW, I'm eating pizza. Some pizza can be healthy, but not the stuff I'm eating right now - it's got partianally hydrogenated oils, preservatives out the wazoo an NO veggies - I don't even think the sauce counts for tomatoes because it's over processed and has (I'm sure) petroleum based preservatives and flavors. Why is it SO HARD sometimes to just eat healthy food?
Really?
Why?
I honestly want to know!
I've heard of studies done where they conclude that junk food is addictive. And why in the hell would THAT be? Aren't humans supposed to be some sort of sophisticatedly evolved creatures? Then WHY do we get addicted to stuff that's BAD for us?
Heroin? Sure!
Tobbacco? SURE!
Alcohol? Sign me UP!
Junk food? Oh, Yummy.
Something healthy and wholesome and GOOD FOR YOU? Oh hell no.
I smoked for 15 years and quit within 2 months of finding out I was pregnant with Mira. But junk food? I can't seem to shake it! I like a little junk in my trunk, don't get me wrong, it's all the unhealthy diseases, disorders, dysfunctions and short life span that get to me.
Signed,
Frustratingly Enjoying My Pizza
Some days you bite the tiger, some days he bites back?
What is it?
I obviously don't know, but I'll tell you what I do know for sure:
I STRUGGLE with my diet - by "diet" in this sense I don't mean "I'm on a diet" (even though I am, sort of), I mean my overall, general eating habits. I would like to eat healthy, I read labels, I do like healthy food and I often stop myself from eating unhealthy food. But, like, right NOW, I'm eating pizza. Some pizza can be healthy, but not the stuff I'm eating right now - it's got partianally hydrogenated oils, preservatives out the wazoo an NO veggies - I don't even think the sauce counts for tomatoes because it's over processed and has (I'm sure) petroleum based preservatives and flavors. Why is it SO HARD sometimes to just eat healthy food?
Really?
Why?
I honestly want to know!
I've heard of studies done where they conclude that junk food is addictive. And why in the hell would THAT be? Aren't humans supposed to be some sort of sophisticatedly evolved creatures? Then WHY do we get addicted to stuff that's BAD for us?
Heroin? Sure!
Tobbacco? SURE!
Alcohol? Sign me UP!
Junk food? Oh, Yummy.
Something healthy and wholesome and GOOD FOR YOU? Oh hell no.
I smoked for 15 years and quit within 2 months of finding out I was pregnant with Mira. But junk food? I can't seem to shake it! I like a little junk in my trunk, don't get me wrong, it's all the unhealthy diseases, disorders, dysfunctions and short life span that get to me.
Signed,
Frustratingly Enjoying My Pizza
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Day 20: Grimey
Have you ever been SO DIRTY you couldn't even stand to touch yourself? Yeah, that was me earlier today. I had dirt and grime head to toe, literally. It was so thick it went through my clothes and even my under things! Kind of a fun experience though. I, along with 2 other co-workers were lifting and stacking pallets. Yes, pallets. They are 75lbs, in case you ever wanted to know. Though I wasn't picking up the full 75lbs, I was sharing weight either with one other co-worker or the floor, or another pallet. I'm not crazy.... about lifting heavy objects.
It has rained fiercely here today, I hydroplaned a little on my way to work, and then came pretty close to it on the way home. It's one of those seemingly spiritual days, where even though the sky is grey, it's bright, and for some reason all the vegetation looks extra green while the sky maintains a constant solid grey no matter where you go.
Hope the grey day finds your soul sunshiny!
It has rained fiercely here today, I hydroplaned a little on my way to work, and then came pretty close to it on the way home. It's one of those seemingly spiritual days, where even though the sky is grey, it's bright, and for some reason all the vegetation looks extra green while the sky maintains a constant solid grey no matter where you go.
Hope the grey day finds your soul sunshiny!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Day 19:
Well, it's been a long week. A very long week indeed. Many sleepless nights, lots of reading, research, writing and talking for doula certification, plenty of food cooked & recipes tried. Now it's time to prepare for three days of intensive commuting and working with not much time for anything else. These weeks go by so freakin fast. I get a lot done, but it's never everything I needed or wanted to get done. I think I definitely did not sleep enough this week, but there still just wasn't enough time to go around.
Anyway. Speaking of recipes, I just tried a silky tofu & frozen fruit smoothie recipe... It's okay but does anyone out there know of any? I'd really like to try something else. I used about 4oz each frozen berries & silken tofu with maybe a teaspoon and a half sugar. Maybe I should use honey or molasses?
I noticed I write with a LOT of exclamation points. I don't think I mean to. I think if I have any exuberance at all in my head when I think out a sentence or a thought, it deserves an exclamation point. Is this true? When is an appropriate time to use the dang things? Because I think it might be apparent I don't know.
It sure was a lovely day out there today, not too hot but warm enough to wear minimal clothes and get away with it.
Happy exclaiming!
Anyway. Speaking of recipes, I just tried a silky tofu & frozen fruit smoothie recipe... It's okay but does anyone out there know of any? I'd really like to try something else. I used about 4oz each frozen berries & silken tofu with maybe a teaspoon and a half sugar. Maybe I should use honey or molasses?
I noticed I write with a LOT of exclamation points. I don't think I mean to. I think if I have any exuberance at all in my head when I think out a sentence or a thought, it deserves an exclamation point. Is this true? When is an appropriate time to use the dang things? Because I think it might be apparent I don't know.
It sure was a lovely day out there today, not too hot but warm enough to wear minimal clothes and get away with it.
Happy exclaiming!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Day 18: "Teeth HUHT"
So Mira is actually progressing from using words to completing thoughts.
Which is totally scary.
Let me just tell you what happened today and you tell me what you think.
First, it's important to tell you that Mira has been teething something awful. The poor kid has been MISERABLE for about a week and a half. So far she has 2 teeth more than when she started, but I can see those eye-teeth on the way. She's got a few more weeks of misery and pain. And the hot hot heat isn't helping either.
So, today, we were hanging out in the bedroom. I was on my computer and she was playing around with toys on the floor, occasionally coming up to me for attention now and then. All of a sudden, she comes up whining and crying. I picked her up and we rolled onto the bed. She continued to whine and roll and whine and roll. Oh, the poor kid, I could tell she was in absolute misery. Then she GRABS me, pulls herself up to my face and says clear as day "My TEEEEETH!" I was shocked! I answered back with a sympathetic "Aw, honey, do your teeth hurt?" She proceeded to whine and roll around a little more then muttered a whiny, pathetic little "Teeth huht" back at me.
Her teeth huht.
Her teeth hurt.
Which is totally scary.
Let me just tell you what happened today and you tell me what you think.
First, it's important to tell you that Mira has been teething something awful. The poor kid has been MISERABLE for about a week and a half. So far she has 2 teeth more than when she started, but I can see those eye-teeth on the way. She's got a few more weeks of misery and pain. And the hot hot heat isn't helping either.
So, today, we were hanging out in the bedroom. I was on my computer and she was playing around with toys on the floor, occasionally coming up to me for attention now and then. All of a sudden, she comes up whining and crying. I picked her up and we rolled onto the bed. She continued to whine and roll and whine and roll. Oh, the poor kid, I could tell she was in absolute misery. Then she GRABS me, pulls herself up to my face and says clear as day "My TEEEEETH!" I was shocked! I answered back with a sympathetic "Aw, honey, do your teeth hurt?" She proceeded to whine and roll around a little more then muttered a whiny, pathetic little "Teeth huht" back at me.
Her teeth huht.
Her teeth hurt.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Day 17: Big Bad Pot O Beans!
So I am officially knee-deep in Doula Certification training. I don't know what that means, the knee deep part, exactly, except that once I'm certified I will be in over my head X^D.
Anyway, it is supremely interesting, involving and inspiring work! I am officially obsessed with it! I think about it nonstop, I read about it every chance I get. I do take breaks now and then to watch garbage television. Melting my mind, one minute at a time.
I knew what I was going to write about today... I did know, knew, past tense. Then I started writing and now I just don't!
Hmmm, well, I've come this far, I shant be turning back now!
I have a big ole pot o beans, black beans, on the stove. They've been slow simmering for about 8 hours now, no lid. I just put a lid on them and I will probably add the spices and peppers and onions in about half an hour. I hope to eat about 8 tonight. Delicious beans with steamed broccoli & cauliflower and tasty tilapia n peppers. I've been planning this meal since yesterday. I really enjoy planning, and thinking about a meal over the course of a day or two. If I execute the cooking end properly, it makes the food oh my GOD delicious!
The last time I made a big ole pot o black beans, I left them on the stove to cool, then Brendan was going to put them away in the fridge for me. Alas, he got busy with a fussy Mira and the beans - over the course of ONE DAY - because it was so hot and humid here, went bad. Like real bad. That was one bad pot of beans. Stinky.
But I ate about half the pot before they went bad - before they even cooled down. But I love beans, so it wasn't hard to do.
Speaking of fussy Mira....She is teething hardcore now. Poor kid is absolutely miserable between the heat and the teething. We had nursing down to just 2 or 3 times a day, but right now it's the only thing that brings her comfort. We are back to a pretty full schedule of nursing now.
I don't mind, really. I am sort of over it, but I'm willing to give her whatever she needs. The American Association of Pediatrics just released a study stating that kids reap the most benefits through age two anyway. So we'll be continuing on til then. Some people seem to think it's such a big saccrifice but I don't see it that way at all. Some days I'm just glad I have something to offer her that consoles her misery!
Well, kids, I gotta go stir the pot!
Anyway, it is supremely interesting, involving and inspiring work! I am officially obsessed with it! I think about it nonstop, I read about it every chance I get. I do take breaks now and then to watch garbage television. Melting my mind, one minute at a time.
I knew what I was going to write about today... I did know, knew, past tense. Then I started writing and now I just don't!
Hmmm, well, I've come this far, I shant be turning back now!
I have a big ole pot o beans, black beans, on the stove. They've been slow simmering for about 8 hours now, no lid. I just put a lid on them and I will probably add the spices and peppers and onions in about half an hour. I hope to eat about 8 tonight. Delicious beans with steamed broccoli & cauliflower and tasty tilapia n peppers. I've been planning this meal since yesterday. I really enjoy planning, and thinking about a meal over the course of a day or two. If I execute the cooking end properly, it makes the food oh my GOD delicious!
The last time I made a big ole pot o black beans, I left them on the stove to cool, then Brendan was going to put them away in the fridge for me. Alas, he got busy with a fussy Mira and the beans - over the course of ONE DAY - because it was so hot and humid here, went bad. Like real bad. That was one bad pot of beans. Stinky.
But I ate about half the pot before they went bad - before they even cooled down. But I love beans, so it wasn't hard to do.
Speaking of fussy Mira....She is teething hardcore now. Poor kid is absolutely miserable between the heat and the teething. We had nursing down to just 2 or 3 times a day, but right now it's the only thing that brings her comfort. We are back to a pretty full schedule of nursing now.
I don't mind, really. I am sort of over it, but I'm willing to give her whatever she needs. The American Association of Pediatrics just released a study stating that kids reap the most benefits through age two anyway. So we'll be continuing on til then. Some people seem to think it's such a big saccrifice but I don't see it that way at all. Some days I'm just glad I have something to offer her that consoles her misery!
Well, kids, I gotta go stir the pot!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 16: Do you know what you eat?
First, I would like to say that I am a label reader. I concern myself greatly with what I eat and what I bring home for my family to eat.
I no longer buy popcicles.
Why?
Because the majority of them contain propylene glycol. Propylene glycol isn't really a household ingredient, is it? Do you even know what it is? It's antifreeze. Yeah, just like the stuff that you have to keep away from your cat or she will die. It's just like that stuff that in small increments over time, will make you very VERY sick and will kill you. It manifests with symptoms that look like heart disease, fevers, colds/coughing. It could look like you just don't feel well. But it's really the popcicles. Who knew? How that's okay, I don't know, but somehow these things are "regulated by the FDA" and therefore, believed safe.
The FDA says that a certain degree of harmful ingredients is okay. I get that. But what I don't get is the conscious decision by most (yes, it really is MOST) food manufacturers to actually purposefully include these poisons in the food up to the limit.
Like propylene glycol, aka: antifreeze.
I don't know what the "allowed" amount of antifreeze in food is, but you can bet your butt I'm not adding ANY to my food, or to the food I give my daughter. This is not the only harmful additive found in most common foods, it's just the one that chaps my hide the most... Right at the moment.
Some food should come with warning labels, it's ridiculous.
Furthermore.
Has anyone seen Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution? It is startling. The school cafeterias in LA are run by a group called the LAUSD. The LAUSD will not allow an investigation into their food/food preparations (it would appear that everything is basically microwaved in plastic sleeves, I'm picturing zero nutritional quality because the microwave kills nutrients and loads of chemicals leeched into the food from the packaging - think bpa). Furthermore, they disallowed him to even TALK about the food to the kids.
Isn't that unconstitutional? I mean, I'm no civics professor, but freedom of speech is squashed, doesn't that equal unconstitutional behavior?
Good luck, kids, getting your food from school. Good luck living happy, healthy, productive lives.
Anyway, if you've got some time, check it out, you can watch it for free on Hulu here:
http://www.hulu.com/jamie-olivers-food-revolution
Happy eating!
I no longer buy popcicles.
Why?
Because the majority of them contain propylene glycol. Propylene glycol isn't really a household ingredient, is it? Do you even know what it is? It's antifreeze. Yeah, just like the stuff that you have to keep away from your cat or she will die. It's just like that stuff that in small increments over time, will make you very VERY sick and will kill you. It manifests with symptoms that look like heart disease, fevers, colds/coughing. It could look like you just don't feel well. But it's really the popcicles. Who knew? How that's okay, I don't know, but somehow these things are "regulated by the FDA" and therefore, believed safe.
The FDA says that a certain degree of harmful ingredients is okay. I get that. But what I don't get is the conscious decision by most (yes, it really is MOST) food manufacturers to actually purposefully include these poisons in the food up to the limit.
Like propylene glycol, aka: antifreeze.
I don't know what the "allowed" amount of antifreeze in food is, but you can bet your butt I'm not adding ANY to my food, or to the food I give my daughter. This is not the only harmful additive found in most common foods, it's just the one that chaps my hide the most... Right at the moment.
Some food should come with warning labels, it's ridiculous.
Furthermore.
Has anyone seen Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution? It is startling. The school cafeterias in LA are run by a group called the LAUSD. The LAUSD will not allow an investigation into their food/food preparations (it would appear that everything is basically microwaved in plastic sleeves, I'm picturing zero nutritional quality because the microwave kills nutrients and loads of chemicals leeched into the food from the packaging - think bpa). Furthermore, they disallowed him to even TALK about the food to the kids.
Isn't that unconstitutional? I mean, I'm no civics professor, but freedom of speech is squashed, doesn't that equal unconstitutional behavior?
Good luck, kids, getting your food from school. Good luck living happy, healthy, productive lives.
Anyway, if you've got some time, check it out, you can watch it for free on Hulu here:
http://www.hulu.com/jamie-olivers-food-revolution
Happy eating!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Day 15: A Question About ...
I'm sure everyone has these times: You want to tell someone how you feel - not to bruise them, but rather to allow them to see the detriment they cause others. However, they, and others in the same circle are too sensitive to bear the criticism no matter how constructive it may be.
A loose "for instance": if I have spinach in my teeth, I want someone to tell me. I don't care how embarrassing it is to hear, and I don't care who is around when I hear it. I just want to know so I don't offend anyone further. Not that spinach in the teeth is hurtful, just aesthetically displeasing and offensive in that manner. (but just so we're clear, my real life instance is far more serious than spinach in the teeth) Let's say, though that it is not me with the spinach in my teeth, but that the person with the spinach in the teeth is clueless about not only the spinach but also the offensive nature in which they impose themselves onto others. Should I tell them about the spinach? I would want to know! So, I think I should tell them. But, alas, I know that with this spinachy-toothed situation, sharing the information would somehow make the worst of the situation. As if the spinach-toothed person is blissful in their (yeah, I know "their" is plural, and maybe that is intentional as there are a FEW people like this in my life) ignorance and sharing with them the unsightly spinach would be so much more offensive than the spewing of speech through it. Because maybe they feel like not knowing the spinach exists, allows the spinach to actually NOT EXIST, but the moment, the very moment I bring up the spinach, I have somehow CREATED the spinach and am therefore WAY MORE offensive than the god damned spinach.
For crying out loud, just get the spinach out of your teeth! And go find the common sense tree and let some of the leaves brush your cheeks! Hopefully some will rub off!
Ahhh, I feel better.
But seriously, would YOU want to know if you were engaging in offensive behavior? Even if it was clear you had no idea the ramifications of your actions?
I would, I'm interested to know who else would.
A loose "for instance": if I have spinach in my teeth, I want someone to tell me. I don't care how embarrassing it is to hear, and I don't care who is around when I hear it. I just want to know so I don't offend anyone further. Not that spinach in the teeth is hurtful, just aesthetically displeasing and offensive in that manner. (but just so we're clear, my real life instance is far more serious than spinach in the teeth) Let's say, though that it is not me with the spinach in my teeth, but that the person with the spinach in the teeth is clueless about not only the spinach but also the offensive nature in which they impose themselves onto others. Should I tell them about the spinach? I would want to know! So, I think I should tell them. But, alas, I know that with this spinachy-toothed situation, sharing the information would somehow make the worst of the situation. As if the spinach-toothed person is blissful in their (yeah, I know "their" is plural, and maybe that is intentional as there are a FEW people like this in my life) ignorance and sharing with them the unsightly spinach would be so much more offensive than the spewing of speech through it. Because maybe they feel like not knowing the spinach exists, allows the spinach to actually NOT EXIST, but the moment, the very moment I bring up the spinach, I have somehow CREATED the spinach and am therefore WAY MORE offensive than the god damned spinach.
For crying out loud, just get the spinach out of your teeth! And go find the common sense tree and let some of the leaves brush your cheeks! Hopefully some will rub off!
Ahhh, I feel better.
But seriously, would YOU want to know if you were engaging in offensive behavior? Even if it was clear you had no idea the ramifications of your actions?
I would, I'm interested to know who else would.
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