As you may or may not know, my family has recently suffered yet another loss. As his very wise 10 year old grandson Lakota put it: He was a good man. We will miss him greatly. Everyone who had the pleasure of meeting Steve Newby learned something. Steve was my step father, but more importantly, he was my mother's loving husband. I remember shortly after I met him, he and I were in a car together alone for some reason. I was cooking up a speech about how he better not hurt my mother. Then, he beat me to it! HE tole ME I better be nice to my mother because she meant the world to him! Totally stole my thunder... and my heart.
He had a talent like no other of teaching you (and by "you" I do mean YOU, because he inevitably did it with anyone and everyone) a lesson about life, about yourself, about society, the valiant cause of honest and hard work among other things. His talent lied in the fact that he could do this without the actual ACT of teaching. It just came naturally to him to present the world in a way that made you see through your person to the reality that is the world. He lived his life in many different ways, the way I knew him proved that you can lead your mind with your heart without being foolish or selfish. He truly was a man who saw "the big picture" and did almost no act without considering the summation of its many consequences. I learned a great deal from him. Our relationship was cantankerous at times, but I always felt a mutual respect and love regardless of the situation or argument. Through this, I learned the true value of being respectful and mindful while still following your heart.
At his funeral I, along with many others, cried. I am an emotional creature, I may have cried more than others. I don't know. But I know I couldn't stop it. Damned crying! And then in the midst of my crying I had an almost vision. I had a vision of Steve up there at the podium of his own funeral. If there ever was a man who could take the podium at his own funeral: it would have been Steve Newby. Anyway, I saw him up there, leaning on the podium like it was a lunch counter. He looked around the room, at me, then addressing the room, he said "Why are ya cryin?" Pausing for effect and laughter, he continued "No, really: WHY ARE YA CRYIN? I lived a much longer life than I ever deserved, I was blessed with wonderful and beautiful people for children and after a long tumultuous dance with pain and anger within myself, I found a love that most people never get to experience. You people are wasting your time here doing all this mopin and cryin." And he turned away shaking his head and waving us off with a minor annoyance that only he could get away with and disappeared.
Well, we are selfish, that's why we were crying. We know what we've lost. And in the shadow of that, the grief is too large to just be grateful for having gotten to have him in our lives. He always sent you on your way with a "Glad you got to see me!" And good grief, wasn't he right? Aren't we all glad we got to see him.
RIP, Steve Newby.
Nah, on second thought raise as much stink as you can. You are loved and you will be sorely missed, but we will try to just be happy for the time we got to have with you.
