So.
A few years ago.
I learned.
Everyone I love.
Leaves me.
And if they haven't yet, I'm resigned to the knowledge that they will.
And you will too.
The realization came all in one 3 month period where like 9 people I loved, cared about and who helped truly shape me in various ways all left. For different places at different times and for completely different reasons, but it seriously felt like every week another person was leaving.
You know what, good for them, it's not about me.
But seriously - why does it have to be EVERYONE I GET CLOSE TO?
Either they leave me or I leave them.
It's just strange.
I mean, right now, the mainstays in my life are Brendan and Mira. Mira will leave for sure. I'm mostly certain Brendan will stay, and that's what I have my heart set on.
But so far history has had a different lesson for me.
I guess we'll see.
As a side note, I have an idea about a great way to germinate seeds indoors without using soil.
As another side note: I'm working on more handmade goods. I love making things.
As the last side note for the day: I bought the paint required to paint my doula logo. Bright, shiny, healthy starts.
For real.
Link of the day:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Love_You
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Day 402: When I was very young....
One day when I was very young (maybe 8), I went to work with my mom for an afternoon. I loved going there, people talked to me a lot about all kinds of interesting things that most other people didn't bother talking to me about. I don't remember a lot of the details surrounding these days in general, but there is one day I remember particularly well.
Some elderly gentleman was for some reason in the same room as me. No one else, just he and I. I was nervously hanging around, waiting to see if anything interesting would happen as a result of being alone with someone so much my senior - I'm thinking he must have been in his 70's, this man. I don't remember striking up a conversation with him, and I don't even remember if it was in context, but I clearly remember him passing on a tidbit of wisdom my way.
He said,
"You'll know you're getting old when it feels like a lot of the people you know or have known, are dead or dying."
Some days I feel really old.
Link of the Day: Check it out if you want, pass it by if you don't. Pass it along if you feel, but please, please don't be a heel.
http://www.learnvest.com/2012/05/can-you-lose-your-job-for-liking-something-on-facebook-123/
Some elderly gentleman was for some reason in the same room as me. No one else, just he and I. I was nervously hanging around, waiting to see if anything interesting would happen as a result of being alone with someone so much my senior - I'm thinking he must have been in his 70's, this man. I don't remember striking up a conversation with him, and I don't even remember if it was in context, but I clearly remember him passing on a tidbit of wisdom my way.
He said,
"You'll know you're getting old when it feels like a lot of the people you know or have known, are dead or dying."
Some days I feel really old.
Link of the Day: Check it out if you want, pass it by if you don't. Pass it along if you feel, but please, please don't be a heel.
http://www.learnvest.com/2012/05/can-you-lose-your-job-for-liking-something-on-facebook-123/
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Day 399: On Demons
I hear people say "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies
closer."
Which instantly makes me paranoid, like I hope they don't mean I'm an enemy & they're just letting me know where I stand in some weird way.
Then I turn introspective. I can't find personal context for that. Because for me to accept the idea of "keep your enemies closer" I have to understand the process of it.
So, in my mind, I'm envisioning how a person keeps his enemies closer: you have to identify someone as your enemy, your nemesis, a demon, as someone who is out to get you. You then have to learn enough about them to form a relationship with them. You have to actually follow through and form that relationship and be nice about it so they don't mind "keeping you close". Then you have to maintain that level of close relationship with that person who you don't like who you think is out to get you and who you really don't ever actually want to have in your life at all.
And let's face it: we all have these people in our lives at one time or another; these Demons.
And then you have to live with the lie that you are actively learning about and being nice to someone that you potentially wish you never knew in the first place.
I don't get it. I really don't get it. I mean, I understand the process, I guess I understand the goal, but...
I think this is so difficult for me to understand because my biggest demons are within me.
I have no choice but to keep them even closer than friends.
And I really, really REALLY wish that weren't the case.
Besides, I can deal with people I don't want to be around. I just walk away, or give the short answer and wait out the moments they've crossed my path. I have a complete disregard for negativity in my life. There's really so much of it around that I don't contend with the idea that keeping negative forces close to me in any capacity would or could be helpful to me in any way.
But I suppose I understand the people who do. I mean, fear makes us do very strange things. Fear and love both, right? Do you think if they were people, fear and love; do you think they'd be friends?
Link of the Day:
Look at it or don't, there's no need to criticize.
http://mashuavoiceforthevoiceless.blogspot.com/2012/01/10-year-old-girl-in-kenya-needs.html
Which instantly makes me paranoid, like I hope they don't mean I'm an enemy & they're just letting me know where I stand in some weird way.
Then I turn introspective. I can't find personal context for that. Because for me to accept the idea of "keep your enemies closer" I have to understand the process of it.
So, in my mind, I'm envisioning how a person keeps his enemies closer: you have to identify someone as your enemy, your nemesis, a demon, as someone who is out to get you. You then have to learn enough about them to form a relationship with them. You have to actually follow through and form that relationship and be nice about it so they don't mind "keeping you close". Then you have to maintain that level of close relationship with that person who you don't like who you think is out to get you and who you really don't ever actually want to have in your life at all.
And let's face it: we all have these people in our lives at one time or another; these Demons.
And then you have to live with the lie that you are actively learning about and being nice to someone that you potentially wish you never knew in the first place.
I don't get it. I really don't get it. I mean, I understand the process, I guess I understand the goal, but...
I think this is so difficult for me to understand because my biggest demons are within me.
I have no choice but to keep them even closer than friends.
And I really, really REALLY wish that weren't the case.
Besides, I can deal with people I don't want to be around. I just walk away, or give the short answer and wait out the moments they've crossed my path. I have a complete disregard for negativity in my life. There's really so much of it around that I don't contend with the idea that keeping negative forces close to me in any capacity would or could be helpful to me in any way.
But I suppose I understand the people who do. I mean, fear makes us do very strange things. Fear and love both, right? Do you think if they were people, fear and love; do you think they'd be friends?
Link of the Day:
Look at it or don't, there's no need to criticize.
http://mashuavoiceforthevoiceless.blogspot.com/2012/01/10-year-old-girl-in-kenya-needs.html
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Day 398: I almost stole today.
So Brendan and I like to go for drives.
We don't do it often, certainly not as often as we like. But driving around does give us a better perspective of where we live, what else lives around us, and great places to go for future picnics.
While out on our lovely drive in today's damp, warm and very very green afternoon, I was driving, and we came over a little bit of a knoll. As soon as we'd crested the small hill, I saw two little black dots running together, almost like they were one thing, but two lumps of one thing.
"AH! NO! GET OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU! YOU! Whaat arrrrrre those?" I asked Brendan as he stifled giggles at my screeching and swerving - huge overreactions.
Of course, I'm not stopping the car, because my fight or flight response at the time was saying flight, flight, flight. But we realize at just about the same time, that they were baby ducks!
Little brown/black baby ducks (or maybe geese) with tiny speckles. Two little baby ducks, running free on the road.
"Uh, I don't think THAT seems right." I said
Brendan agreed, I mean it IS strange to see little ducks, little baby ducks running around on their own. We decided they were either domesticated or their mother had met some terrible passing (possibly a car?), and that's why they were out running along, right on the road.
Not safe. Not cool.
"Maybe we should rescue them!"
I have to admit, I was deviously excited, hoping, just HOPING those cute little duckies needed to be rescued and thinking that home in my tub would be WAY better than out here on the road.
So, out Brendan got, with a box - how fortuitous that we had a box! I drove on ahead until I found a good place to turn around, then I hit those hazard lights and drove very slowly.
Imagine my disappointment when I realized Brendan was NOT catching the ducks and terrorizing them into a cardboard box.
Totally makes me giggle now.
"I think we scared them." He says.
I have to admit, I think so too - but I'm really happy we did scare them off the road.
We stood and watched them toddle together, like one thing made of two lumps, bouncing up the hill together, toward a house - a farm house with evident other animals. A safe house for ducks, domestic or wild and abandoned. I laughed at how cute they looked almost glued together like that, running away from us. I pictured an entire week of them at our home, in the tub, out of the tub, running from Mira, playing with Wombat. Oh, that was a fun week in my head - probably will always be a wonderful week in my head: those are the things that don't leave your head I hope.
So, yeah, we almost stole some baby ducks today.
Link of the Day: I hope it broadens you're focus, but that's not up to me.
http://www.mergerecords.com/artists/wild_flag
We don't do it often, certainly not as often as we like. But driving around does give us a better perspective of where we live, what else lives around us, and great places to go for future picnics.
While out on our lovely drive in today's damp, warm and very very green afternoon, I was driving, and we came over a little bit of a knoll. As soon as we'd crested the small hill, I saw two little black dots running together, almost like they were one thing, but two lumps of one thing.
"AH! NO! GET OUT OF THE ROAD, YOU! YOU! Whaat arrrrrre those?" I asked Brendan as he stifled giggles at my screeching and swerving - huge overreactions.
Of course, I'm not stopping the car, because my fight or flight response at the time was saying flight, flight, flight. But we realize at just about the same time, that they were baby ducks!
Little brown/black baby ducks (or maybe geese) with tiny speckles. Two little baby ducks, running free on the road.
"Uh, I don't think THAT seems right." I said
Brendan agreed, I mean it IS strange to see little ducks, little baby ducks running around on their own. We decided they were either domesticated or their mother had met some terrible passing (possibly a car?), and that's why they were out running along, right on the road.
Not safe. Not cool.
"Maybe we should rescue them!"
I have to admit, I was deviously excited, hoping, just HOPING those cute little duckies needed to be rescued and thinking that home in my tub would be WAY better than out here on the road.
So, out Brendan got, with a box - how fortuitous that we had a box! I drove on ahead until I found a good place to turn around, then I hit those hazard lights and drove very slowly.
Imagine my disappointment when I realized Brendan was NOT catching the ducks and terrorizing them into a cardboard box.
Totally makes me giggle now.
"I think we scared them." He says.
I have to admit, I think so too - but I'm really happy we did scare them off the road.
We stood and watched them toddle together, like one thing made of two lumps, bouncing up the hill together, toward a house - a farm house with evident other animals. A safe house for ducks, domestic or wild and abandoned. I laughed at how cute they looked almost glued together like that, running away from us. I pictured an entire week of them at our home, in the tub, out of the tub, running from Mira, playing with Wombat. Oh, that was a fun week in my head - probably will always be a wonderful week in my head: those are the things that don't leave your head I hope.
So, yeah, we almost stole some baby ducks today.
Link of the Day: I hope it broadens you're focus, but that's not up to me.
http://www.mergerecords.com/artists/wild_flag
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Day 396: Happy Mother's Day!
To all the Mom's out there - I don't care if you take care of a plant - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Today, I think, is the day that we are all mothers. We are all taking care of something, aren't we?
I see the single woman living by herself as the mother as much as the great grandmother of some insanely large family. Taking care of yourself is a full-time job! Taking care of yourself BY YOURSELF takes so much courage!
I just want to pay tribute to ALL the mothers out there - the literal and the figurative.
I love being the mother of a little girl named Mira. And even though I drove 2 hours, worked 7 hours, did laundry at the laundromat, cooked, cleaned, and had a very long day - I loved every minute of it.
For everyone who said "Happy Mother's Day" to someone - you should know that it really does make a girl feel acknowledged and special.
Brendan brought me flowers, a rare occasion that was completely fitting and lovely today.
And you know what?
Tomorrow, we'll all still be mothers, caring for everything we have the capacity to care for and loving the whole mess.
Link of the Day:
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/photos/mothers-love-gallery
Today, I think, is the day that we are all mothers. We are all taking care of something, aren't we?
I see the single woman living by herself as the mother as much as the great grandmother of some insanely large family. Taking care of yourself is a full-time job! Taking care of yourself BY YOURSELF takes so much courage!
I just want to pay tribute to ALL the mothers out there - the literal and the figurative.
I love being the mother of a little girl named Mira. And even though I drove 2 hours, worked 7 hours, did laundry at the laundromat, cooked, cleaned, and had a very long day - I loved every minute of it.
For everyone who said "Happy Mother's Day" to someone - you should know that it really does make a girl feel acknowledged and special.
Brendan brought me flowers, a rare occasion that was completely fitting and lovely today.
And you know what?
Tomorrow, we'll all still be mothers, caring for everything we have the capacity to care for and loving the whole mess.
Link of the Day:
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/photos/mothers-love-gallery
Friday, May 11, 2012
Day 394: Just givin props
Alright, well, I just thought I should give propers to the person who is responsible for making me see that I was getting lazy about the blog.
Except I can't actually say who it is because I'm pretty sure this person doesn't want to be mentioned. It sounds messy. But it isn't messy - this person just likes to remain low-key and really likes privacy.
So if I were to mention said person, I'm pretty sure that would go against his (or her) standards of privacy. Standards which I know very well about because I happen to be very good friends with this person.
It makes me happy to know people with such high standards.
Anyway, thank you friend, for being supportive and honest in a clear and positive way. I always appreciate honesty - but I really appreciate it more when it's positive and clear.
Link of the Day: Drink it with your brain, then leak it with your mouth. ( <<<~~~~~~ I don't know, I just wanted to be quirky & I think it just came out weird.)
http://timebanks.org/
Except I can't actually say who it is because I'm pretty sure this person doesn't want to be mentioned. It sounds messy. But it isn't messy - this person just likes to remain low-key and really likes privacy.
So if I were to mention said person, I'm pretty sure that would go against his (or her) standards of privacy. Standards which I know very well about because I happen to be very good friends with this person.
It makes me happy to know people with such high standards.
Anyway, thank you friend, for being supportive and honest in a clear and positive way. I always appreciate honesty - but I really appreciate it more when it's positive and clear.
Link of the Day: Drink it with your brain, then leak it with your mouth. ( <<<~~~~~~ I don't know, I just wanted to be quirky & I think it just came out weird.)
http://timebanks.org/
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Day 393: On simplifying
Hmmm, well. I guess I'm not very good at it... I think this is going to be one of those "work on it a little every day" kind of things.
Like a masterpiece!
Only possibly less important for humankind.
Speaking of masterpieces: it has come to my attention more in recent years than ever before in my life that art is not important to everyone. Some people just don't like it, get it, want to get it. Some people think it's a frivolous hobby for artists to paint, make things, write, create music, what have you.
I disagree.
Completely disagree.
I think that people who are artists (I being one of those people who like to 'create') NEED their crafts, they need to create. There is a bond between their brain and their hands that only works when the artist is creating something. Even if it's typing, or plucking madly at a banjo, or looking crazy with paint spatter all over and a brush in one hand with a clenched other hand and a universal "stranger in my thoughts" look in the eyes. For some people, this act of creating is directly linked to our brains and how we relate to the rest of the world.
I see the importance on the other side too. When I see art that speaks to me (like Robert Rauschenberg's Minutiae (1954) or Spread (1983), something happens in MY brain: the world suddenly makes more sense. And for someone who is constantly obsessing over making things make sense, I kind of have a direct NEED for art - I need things that make those connections for me, or that allow my brain to make the connections that let me make sense of things.
So when I, as I have recently, come to understand that some people don't have any reaction at all to art and are in fact even annoyed that it even exists, that people actually spend money on it and on perpetuating it through the generations (teaching kids about art), I actually don't understand it at all.
I don't understand not understanding art.
I don't understand the lack of need for art in any capacity.
Just because I have such a feeling of need for it.
And it really points out to me that even though we are all human and we all have wants and we all have needs - we are all so very different.
Which is perturbing, and it makes life very hard, and it's why I understand the hermit mentality. But it certainly does add color to the pallet of our lives.
Link of the Day: Just check it out - don't judge.
http://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/2012-04-05/jonah-lehrer-how-creativity-works
Like a masterpiece!
Only possibly less important for humankind.
Speaking of masterpieces: it has come to my attention more in recent years than ever before in my life that art is not important to everyone. Some people just don't like it, get it, want to get it. Some people think it's a frivolous hobby for artists to paint, make things, write, create music, what have you.
I disagree.
Completely disagree.
I think that people who are artists (I being one of those people who like to 'create') NEED their crafts, they need to create. There is a bond between their brain and their hands that only works when the artist is creating something. Even if it's typing, or plucking madly at a banjo, or looking crazy with paint spatter all over and a brush in one hand with a clenched other hand and a universal "stranger in my thoughts" look in the eyes. For some people, this act of creating is directly linked to our brains and how we relate to the rest of the world.
I see the importance on the other side too. When I see art that speaks to me (like Robert Rauschenberg's Minutiae (1954) or Spread (1983), something happens in MY brain: the world suddenly makes more sense. And for someone who is constantly obsessing over making things make sense, I kind of have a direct NEED for art - I need things that make those connections for me, or that allow my brain to make the connections that let me make sense of things.
So when I, as I have recently, come to understand that some people don't have any reaction at all to art and are in fact even annoyed that it even exists, that people actually spend money on it and on perpetuating it through the generations (teaching kids about art), I actually don't understand it at all.
I don't understand not understanding art.
I don't understand the lack of need for art in any capacity.
Just because I have such a feeling of need for it.
And it really points out to me that even though we are all human and we all have wants and we all have needs - we are all so very different.
Which is perturbing, and it makes life very hard, and it's why I understand the hermit mentality. But it certainly does add color to the pallet of our lives.
Link of the Day: Just check it out - don't judge.
http://www.commonwealthclub.org/events/2012-04-05/jonah-lehrer-how-creativity-works
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Day 392: Just One
Just One. One is the loneliest number. ONE! It's just the smallest increment of measurement! It's not a big deal, right? RIGHT?
Uh
Hmmm
Wellllllll.
Maybe it is a big deal.
Here's the thing: I didn't write my blog for ONE day. Which turned into two, which turned into 4, and now here I am doing something for the first time in 4 days - something I'm striving to do EVERY DAY.
And that's not the only thing.
It's like cleaning - you leave one dish, just ONE dish, and the dang thing breeds in the sink & pretty soon you've got you're whole sink full, and it smells, and you're ashamed, and there you are, washing your dishes all ashamed for half an hour. Boohoo, but it's your own fault: you let that one sit, and it turned into many.
Or it's like eating healthy. I'm trying to eat healthy. I'm still trying to lose weight from my pregnancy almost two years ago! Plus, just eating healthy is, well, it's just healthy. But I have what some might call a food addiction. I just love food. I think about food all the time. I want food all the time. I heard about some study somewhere that people who think about food a lot are about 20% heavier than 'normal' people. Which didn't make me feel any better - how am I supposed to change those brainwaves? I don't know, but that's off topic. Back to the ONE. So yeah, I try to eat healthy: no processed, microwaved, crappy hydrolyzed anything added, no CRAP! But then I'll justify eating one thing, just ONE thing: Oh, I'm hungry, I can eat this boxed cookie, it'll be fine. Except that it's never fine, then I'm eating any old thing that comes my way AND stopping on my way home to pick up a cold cappucino drink with who knows what's in that. And let me tell you - when I'm eating real food for two weeks, I start trimming down and my depression is much easier to manage (by the way anyone wanting to not take medication for depression: diet, exercise and VITAMIN D in liquid form - try it, you'll like it). But it's all just like that stupid chip bag says:
"Bet you can't eat just one"
Taunters
Damn taudry taunters!
NO! I CAN'T! I CAN'T JUST EAT ONE!
I'll eat several! And my body doesn't process foods like it used to, so then I'll be bloated from the salt and gain weight from the oil - and I won't get enough nutrition from the potatoe to make any difference at all.
Does that make you happy?!?
Bet you can't eat just one.
Alright, I know they're not trying to mock me or taunt me, but listen, it really does taunt me - think I don't know I can't eat just one? I know that! So I just better stick to Zero. Big fat ZERO, my pal the goose egg, zero, my hero. If I keep it all at none, than I have none to worry about and none to justify the next 15 or more.
Hope you liked the rant.
Link of the day:
Disclaimer - these are just tidbits I want to share in case someone else wants to add a little "huh" or "hmmm" or "oh, I never thought of that" to their day.
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
Uh
Hmmm
Wellllllll.
Maybe it is a big deal.
Here's the thing: I didn't write my blog for ONE day. Which turned into two, which turned into 4, and now here I am doing something for the first time in 4 days - something I'm striving to do EVERY DAY.
And that's not the only thing.
It's like cleaning - you leave one dish, just ONE dish, and the dang thing breeds in the sink & pretty soon you've got you're whole sink full, and it smells, and you're ashamed, and there you are, washing your dishes all ashamed for half an hour. Boohoo, but it's your own fault: you let that one sit, and it turned into many.
Or it's like eating healthy. I'm trying to eat healthy. I'm still trying to lose weight from my pregnancy almost two years ago! Plus, just eating healthy is, well, it's just healthy. But I have what some might call a food addiction. I just love food. I think about food all the time. I want food all the time. I heard about some study somewhere that people who think about food a lot are about 20% heavier than 'normal' people. Which didn't make me feel any better - how am I supposed to change those brainwaves? I don't know, but that's off topic. Back to the ONE. So yeah, I try to eat healthy: no processed, microwaved, crappy hydrolyzed anything added, no CRAP! But then I'll justify eating one thing, just ONE thing: Oh, I'm hungry, I can eat this boxed cookie, it'll be fine. Except that it's never fine, then I'm eating any old thing that comes my way AND stopping on my way home to pick up a cold cappucino drink with who knows what's in that. And let me tell you - when I'm eating real food for two weeks, I start trimming down and my depression is much easier to manage (by the way anyone wanting to not take medication for depression: diet, exercise and VITAMIN D in liquid form - try it, you'll like it). But it's all just like that stupid chip bag says:
"Bet you can't eat just one"
Taunters
Damn taudry taunters!
NO! I CAN'T! I CAN'T JUST EAT ONE!
I'll eat several! And my body doesn't process foods like it used to, so then I'll be bloated from the salt and gain weight from the oil - and I won't get enough nutrition from the potatoe to make any difference at all.
Does that make you happy?!?
Bet you can't eat just one.
Alright, I know they're not trying to mock me or taunt me, but listen, it really does taunt me - think I don't know I can't eat just one? I know that! So I just better stick to Zero. Big fat ZERO, my pal the goose egg, zero, my hero. If I keep it all at none, than I have none to worry about and none to justify the next 15 or more.
Hope you liked the rant.
Link of the day:
Disclaimer - these are just tidbits I want to share in case someone else wants to add a little "huh" or "hmmm" or "oh, I never thought of that" to their day.
http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Day 388: Sharing is Caring
All I have to say today is that sometimes on my drive home from work I think about: ugh, what a long day; wow, what a really long day; I'm tired, it feels good to be tired and know I just got paid to get this tired; I can't wait to see my babygirl; it sure is beautiful here in upstate, NY; I wish this car would stop following me so closely - I mean, there IS another lane; am I lucky enough to have this life? I'm a good person, right? Yeah, I'm pretty alright, I guess. I mean, right? Yeah, I am. I think so anyway. Is it awful that I think I'm good enough for my life?
Nah.
Or is it?
I don't think so... if I say so myself.
I gotta get out of my head more often.
Well, that's what I thought about on my drive home today anyway - for almost the entire hour - and it definitely wasn't a first time event.
Cheers, love and all that jazz.
Link of the Day:
http://artelectronicmedia.com/artwork/interactive-plant-growing
Nah.
Or is it?
I don't think so... if I say so myself.
I gotta get out of my head more often.
Well, that's what I thought about on my drive home today anyway - for almost the entire hour - and it definitely wasn't a first time event.
Cheers, love and all that jazz.
Link of the Day:
http://artelectronicmedia.com/artwork/interactive-plant-growing
Friday, May 4, 2012
Day 387: CSA anyone?
During pregnancy, along with all the physical, hormonal, emotional and life changes, I made endless efforts to get healthier.
I'm not an expert, not by a long shot, and I'd still rather go camping with the bears than work out.
But.
I did find out a LOT about our American food, and our American food system.
It was pretty shocking.
Most of those apple pies your buying instead of making are riddled with chemicals designed in a lab that are mysteriously "just fine" for human consumption - without evidence to back it up (and in some cases, with scientists getting fired when they find during studies that many of these chemicals and processes make rats very sick). Meanwhile the cancer, obesity, heart disease, well, you name it and it's on the rise. And these are food related disorders. I think, sure, we eat a lot more than we need to as Americans, but mostly, we eat crap. Total crap. I'm talking anti-freeze in your ice cream, I'm talking manufactured (not in any way grown) blueberries in your cute little muffins, I'm talking ammonia washed meat in your burger, I'm talking petroleum based food packaging. I could go on.
But I won't.
Because it's not really what I wanted to write about today.
All that stuff is just the precursor.
So you know why I eat like a 'freak', as has been mentioned to me here and there when I'm caught eating my cut fruit that I cut myself and put in my little glass container instead of buying the prepackaged little plastic containers of processed fruit.
I am the proud participant of a CSA in my area.
And I love it.
I paid a subscription fee up front, though some are set up so that you just pay a weekly fee for a particular amount of product.
Anyway, so I paid an up front fee which gets me what ever I want that my farmer has available whenever I want it. During the winter it was only meat, a few eggs here and there, honey and some pretty amazing apple cider vinegar. I can't wait for the plant harvest though.
So some things I noticed about the meat: it tastes like real meat. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just go buy your regular meat, then buy one single pound of grass fed 'organic' meat. Make burgers out of each, and see what you think of the difference. I was totally shocked. I didn't think there should be such a difference, so I looked it up to see what other people were saying, and I read, heard all the same things I was thinking.
Amazing what a little grazing on unfertilized lawns will do for the meat of a cow or a lamb.
And the lamb is more amazing than I ever thought. I had a bad experience with regular store bought lamb once a while ago and thought all lamb was an acquired taste and just EWWWW. But, as it turns out, it's just all in the way the dang lamb was raised!
I think we have such a separation from the ideas of where our food comes from that we can't even imagine that the processes in which it is raised would make such a huge difference in the way they taste when we've bought them from the supermarket then cooked them at home.
Oh, and a CSA is "Consumer Supported Agriculture", so it is where you, the consumer has a direct product to purchase relationship with the farmer. No middle man, no extra rules or fees for either you or the farmer. In most cases, you can tour the farm and in every case, you can ask the farmer anything you want about his/her processes. This is a truly great way to get pure products and keep our American farmers sustained financially and within their community. It isn't that difficult to find them, you just have to look and make a few phone calls or send a few emails. After that, it's easy and completely rewarding.
In some cases, I've heard of people buying part of a dairy cow so they can have some of the raw milk produced by the cow. This is one way of getting around all the governmental red tape that hovers over the milk industry - it is also another example of direct product to purchase relationships.
Just something to think about.
Link of the day. This time I'm going with more than one.
http://www.nectarhillsfarm.com/
http://bigskyfarm.org/
http://www.gaiasbreathfarm.com/
http://www.foxfallsfarm.com/index.html
http://www.otsego2000.org/farmersmarket/
I'm not an expert, not by a long shot, and I'd still rather go camping with the bears than work out.
But.
I did find out a LOT about our American food, and our American food system.
It was pretty shocking.
Most of those apple pies your buying instead of making are riddled with chemicals designed in a lab that are mysteriously "just fine" for human consumption - without evidence to back it up (and in some cases, with scientists getting fired when they find during studies that many of these chemicals and processes make rats very sick). Meanwhile the cancer, obesity, heart disease, well, you name it and it's on the rise. And these are food related disorders. I think, sure, we eat a lot more than we need to as Americans, but mostly, we eat crap. Total crap. I'm talking anti-freeze in your ice cream, I'm talking manufactured (not in any way grown) blueberries in your cute little muffins, I'm talking ammonia washed meat in your burger, I'm talking petroleum based food packaging. I could go on.
But I won't.
Because it's not really what I wanted to write about today.
All that stuff is just the precursor.
So you know why I eat like a 'freak', as has been mentioned to me here and there when I'm caught eating my cut fruit that I cut myself and put in my little glass container instead of buying the prepackaged little plastic containers of processed fruit.
I am the proud participant of a CSA in my area.
And I love it.
I paid a subscription fee up front, though some are set up so that you just pay a weekly fee for a particular amount of product.
Anyway, so I paid an up front fee which gets me what ever I want that my farmer has available whenever I want it. During the winter it was only meat, a few eggs here and there, honey and some pretty amazing apple cider vinegar. I can't wait for the plant harvest though.
So some things I noticed about the meat: it tastes like real meat. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just go buy your regular meat, then buy one single pound of grass fed 'organic' meat. Make burgers out of each, and see what you think of the difference. I was totally shocked. I didn't think there should be such a difference, so I looked it up to see what other people were saying, and I read, heard all the same things I was thinking.
Amazing what a little grazing on unfertilized lawns will do for the meat of a cow or a lamb.
And the lamb is more amazing than I ever thought. I had a bad experience with regular store bought lamb once a while ago and thought all lamb was an acquired taste and just EWWWW. But, as it turns out, it's just all in the way the dang lamb was raised!
I think we have such a separation from the ideas of where our food comes from that we can't even imagine that the processes in which it is raised would make such a huge difference in the way they taste when we've bought them from the supermarket then cooked them at home.
Oh, and a CSA is "Consumer Supported Agriculture", so it is where you, the consumer has a direct product to purchase relationship with the farmer. No middle man, no extra rules or fees for either you or the farmer. In most cases, you can tour the farm and in every case, you can ask the farmer anything you want about his/her processes. This is a truly great way to get pure products and keep our American farmers sustained financially and within their community. It isn't that difficult to find them, you just have to look and make a few phone calls or send a few emails. After that, it's easy and completely rewarding.
In some cases, I've heard of people buying part of a dairy cow so they can have some of the raw milk produced by the cow. This is one way of getting around all the governmental red tape that hovers over the milk industry - it is also another example of direct product to purchase relationships.
Just something to think about.
Link of the day. This time I'm going with more than one.
http://www.nectarhillsfarm.com/
http://bigskyfarm.org/
http://www.gaiasbreathfarm.com/
http://www.foxfallsfarm.com/index.html
http://www.otsego2000.org/farmersmarket/
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Day 386 : Simplification isn't that easy
I've noticed in the last few months I walk around feeling my pockets. For several reasons. Sometimes it's because I have no idea what I'm doing and I think that if I check my pockets I'll find some clues as to where I'm going or what I'm doing that day. Sometimes it's because I feel like I'm missing something and even though I don't know what it is I think I might find it in my pocket.
I never do.
Honestly I think it's because I don't know what the hell it is I think I might be missing.
I think all this pocket fondling is due to over complication of life. Life is already complicated, but those of you who know me well know that I just never stop. I sign myself up for everything. I went from having 3 jobs to having a family and I have no idea how to make the transition. The transition just sort of happened and I've been walking around just trying to do all the stuff you have to do when your life changes from busy single crazy female to mom extraordinaire grasping at straws to feel fulfilled outside of motherhood.
What I've found is that signing up for everything that I care about or that I want to help with only leaves me feeling overwhelmed, over complicated and constantly confused.
Great.
Oh, and I'm also not fulfilling many of my actual goals, goals I set for myself before any of this other outside shit presented itself.
So now I'm trying to simplify.
And it makes me feel guilty. But I felt guilty anyway. I just can't ever seem to do enough. It's never enough.
But I really dislike the disorientation and the feeling around of the pockets thing just makes me feel like a weirdo. Seriously.
So now I'm removing a lot of things from my home, I'm not saying yes to everything, and I'm trying to just have a little fun here and there. I will say, though, that simplifying your life is really really really hard. And complicated. But I totally recommend it.
Cheers to you, and your over complicated and lovely life.
Link of the day: Just hoping something enriches your life without adding any clutter:
http://maurastephens.blogspot.com/2012/01/american-lung-association-in-bed-with.html
I never do.
Honestly I think it's because I don't know what the hell it is I think I might be missing.
I think all this pocket fondling is due to over complication of life. Life is already complicated, but those of you who know me well know that I just never stop. I sign myself up for everything. I went from having 3 jobs to having a family and I have no idea how to make the transition. The transition just sort of happened and I've been walking around just trying to do all the stuff you have to do when your life changes from busy single crazy female to mom extraordinaire grasping at straws to feel fulfilled outside of motherhood.
What I've found is that signing up for everything that I care about or that I want to help with only leaves me feeling overwhelmed, over complicated and constantly confused.
Great.
Oh, and I'm also not fulfilling many of my actual goals, goals I set for myself before any of this other outside shit presented itself.
So now I'm trying to simplify.
And it makes me feel guilty. But I felt guilty anyway. I just can't ever seem to do enough. It's never enough.
But I really dislike the disorientation and the feeling around of the pockets thing just makes me feel like a weirdo. Seriously.
So now I'm removing a lot of things from my home, I'm not saying yes to everything, and I'm trying to just have a little fun here and there. I will say, though, that simplifying your life is really really really hard. And complicated. But I totally recommend it.
Cheers to you, and your over complicated and lovely life.
Link of the day: Just hoping something enriches your life without adding any clutter:
http://maurastephens.blogspot.com/2012/01/american-lung-association-in-bed-with.html
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