Day 284: Like a Kleenex just waiting to be tossed out

Ugh.
I mean, really.
Ugh.

Some
Days.
I
Just
Feel
Like
I'm a crumpled up used kleenex sitting around waiting for someone to come along and

 throw

me 

in 

the 

garbage

so 

I

can

REST!

But the wierdest part about feeling like that is that I'm really not doing anything in the first place. So I don't understand the ache for rest.

But anyway!

Maybe I'll do some sit ups. Yep, you read that right, some sit ups. It's been a while & I can hear my cute little yoga mat calling my name from over there in the corner. Where it belongs.

And I already know what I'm doing tomorrow: running bank/post office and other errands in the morning, baking bread and making soup in the evening! All the rest of the day is up for grabs! Maybe I won't feel like a used up ball of snot filled tissue tomorrow that only wants to be handled then tossed away! Because quite frankly THIS JUST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! 

So I guess you could say I feel like a confused little crumpled up used kleenex waiting around for someone to come by and throw me in the garbage so I can rest.

Link of the Day: I don't know everything, and I don't propose that the links I provide are the answer to life. I do hope they enrich your life in some way or at the very least make you think.

http://strongertogether.coop/premiere/index.html

Day 282: Upon Looking Deeper

Hiya! Well, today I was faced with yet another conundrum of life. I am forever on the lookout for projects that need help - whether I can help financially or not is a completely separate matter. If I can, I will, otherwise I will try to spread the word about said organization and hope that helps, or if they need a petition signed or whatever... As long as I agree with the fundamentals of the organization and what they are trying to improve about the world.
For instance, there is a rash of "Non-Profit Organizations" that claim to be striving for a cleaner future for our earth: a subject I am all about. However, upon looking a little deeper into the makeup of the organization I may find that this organization is funded largely by a pr firm for a fossil fuel company and that their techniques in making our earth 'greener' are merely an extension of current values continued not to make our world a better place but to make it APPEAR as though such measures are being met and no further research is necessary. For that kind of group, I make NO moves. I do not sign their petitions and I do not further their cause financially or by word of mouth. I'm most certain they've got enough funding funneled in from larger sources, they don't need my help and besides, I hardly think blinders are an appropriate solution to any problem.
I recently saw a petition posed by Monsanto (who started out as the manufacturer of agent orange, let us not forget that) to ask our government to propose implementing their 'growing methods' in third world countries. The problem here is that Monsanto claims patents on any seed they sell, and anyone agreeing to buy/sow their seed agrees they will always only buy seed from them and never save seed. But saving seed is one of the best ways farmers have of ensuring crop integrity for following years and is also one way they are able to raise their profitability - a subject I think we all know they need every little bit of help in. The other problem with Monsanto's patent on seeds is that when they find "their product" in someone else's fields (someone who did not buy seed from them therefore did not sign an agreement to uphold the integrity of their patent) they sue, and subsequently bankrupt or own the rights to the farmer's crop regardless of their will. What is one of the most basic things we learn about plants? They cross polinate in order to grow flowers or crop. So, you see, it is impossible to keep Monsanto out if your neighbor agrees to grow their crop. They infest and contaminate in order to control, and it is UGLY. So, no, I will not help them 'help' people. I don't believe they intend to 'help' anyone. I believe they are a corporation out for profits and nothing else.
BOOM!
Anyway, these are just examples, but the instance I ran into earlier today was more bothersome to me on a personal level. One of the most important values I hold is the value on human rights. Not human rights based on culture, color, gender or otherwise specified degrees of "rightness". We are all human and we all deserve the right to food, water, life, and "the pursuit of happiness".
So when I see an organization touting "If you hate poverty, come help US out!" I'm all over it. Except when I go to this website (or whatever) and see that they are a religious organization.... This is where I'm at a loss... I understand Christianity (having been raised Southern Baptist) to be a faith of love and understanding, but my observations of Christian groups (having been raised Southern Baptist) has shown me quite a different picture. I don't propose that ALL Christians or ALL Christian groups are conditional with their love and compassion, but I do propose that in my experience, most are. So when I see a Christian (Catholic) group proposing to save American children from the devastating effects of poverty: I stop short. I am reluctant. I don't know if I can agree. Why? Because I don't know if they will only help the impoverished kids who say "I love Jesus" or who agree to read their Bible or who are not gay or who do not contend that they are sorry for stealing to feed themselves or their family. Stealing is wrong, sure, but I don't think anyone who does it out of desperation should be ostracized for it, but instead they should be shown ways to help themselves from that point on.

Of course, these are my values and I don't intend to impose them on anyone else. I do, however wonder if I'm alone in this course of thought. I mean, kids is people too, right? Shouldn't children be treated with respect regardless of their social standing or financial standing?

Anyway
Now
For
The
Link of the Day: I don't think I know everything and I certainly do not mean to imply that the links I present do. These links are just meant to provide a little intellectual enlightenment - and maybe even a little spiritual enlightenment: your choice!


http://www.enoughproject.org/blogs/how-our-cell-phones-link-us-congo-sexual-violence-epidemic

Day 280: Blackout

http://sopastrike.com/

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Day 277

As some of you may know and some of you may not know: I am a doula.
WTF is a doula?
A doula is a woman who assists other women during labor and childbirth. In my role as such, I work with women during pregnancy to understand their wishes and thoughts about their experience (or at least their desired experience) for pregnancy and actual labor and delivery as well as neonatal care (newborn care).
In studying to become a doula I learned that there is no certification required, and no certification in my state (New York) available. However; I do want to have some kind of official piece of paper that lets prospective clients know I'm not just some crazy lady who wants to help them have their baby. Even though that's kind of what I am, I think an official piece of paper might add to my legitimacy in some peoples eyes.
Getting certified (not certifiable) requires an academic course then a required number of attended births followed by so many hours of continued education academia. The specifics on these three things are different depending on what source you seek to get your certificate from. The source I chose required a 6 week (and fairly intensive) academic course, 3 births attended and 15 hours of continued education hours each subsequent year. So far, I've finished the academic piece, and have attended 1 birth.
And holy woah, how amazing that experience was. I absolutely loved being there offering support in any way I could. We tried some positioning maneuvers, some essential oils, some breathing (which was her amazing mother's prompting), some visualization, some talk therapy and rationalization speak (which is not easy during labor). Then the baby came and everyone cried and she is a beautiful healthy human being. I felt so inspired to go forth on this journey. I felt a renewed sense of amazement and importance wash over me. I felt a love so strong for the family I was there for and for life in general.
It was so beautiful.
And I had my follow up interview today.
And I got positive feedback from the mother.
And I feel wonderfully confident that I can do this, that I am good at this, that I can get better at this, that I can grow from this, that my community can be positively influenced by what I do.


And now:
Link of the Day:
I make no claims to know everything, and I do not contend that the links I post do either. I simply post them to enrich your mind or to offer the opportunity of such an act.

http://newlifeonahomestead.com/2011/01/garden-planting-zones-frost-dates/

Day 275: Maybe I can live up to that.

Everyday, like most people (or at least I hope like most people), I think about my life and how I can improve upon it. I think about ways I can improve my business practices, ways I can rearrange my apartment, ways I can streamline my physique, ways I can feed my family better, ways I can generally improve not only my life, but the life of my family and the life of others.
One of the more selfish (yeah, whatever, being somewhat selfish is NOT bad, we DO have to work on ourselves, don't we?) things I do is write this blog. I do it for me, to clear my head to give myself some creative outlet without having to delve into a huge project. I do HOPE that there are other people who get enjoyment out of it, and I also hope that those of my family and friends who are curious about what might be in the head of someone they know (or love) have a way to find that out. I also, in my live, have found that I am very curious about what my parents think about, what my brothers and cousins and aunts and uncles,  grandparents and friends are thinking about in their lives. I hope, that by writing this blog, my daughter won't have to wonder quite so much about me. Maybe she'll be able to source to this and occupy her mind with other things. Who knows, but it makes me feel better.
Anyway, in an effort to make 2012 a better year than 2011 on a personal level, I hope to be more committed to writing here.
If you're reading this: I hope you like it.
If you don't like this, I really can't take responsibility for that. I curse. There are worse things. And, to me, cursing is a non issue.


Link for the Day:
I don't claim to know everything, and I don't intend for these links to indicate that I do. They are meant to enrich your life of knowledge/spark interest in interesting things. That being said, please enjoy.

http://ravenredbone.wordpress.com/

Day 274: Here's an idea... or two.

Here we live in this crazy confusing and complex world. A place where you can be sure you'd rather sit and watch the latest episode of your favorite program than the news, any news, and you'd certainly rather watch that than try to be informed about all the fucked up shit happening everywhere around you. Well, maybe YOU wouldn't, but that seems to be the idea extraordinaire for our population at large. Most people don't know what's in their food, they don't know what congress does all day, they don't know the dangers that REALLY lurk in your household (like bleach). I can't say I blame them. There are definitely days where I wish I could dismiss most of the truths I know. It sure would be easier, not to mention cheaper.
But no, I go on like I do, learning how to be self-sustaining, buying real food and learning how to cook it, finding out the OLD ways of cleaning and integrating them with new stuff that doesn't damage my family's endocrine production. So often I hear people tell me it doesn't matter what I do: there's cancer and disease in everything. I wish they knew more. I wish they had regular access to self educating material, instead of regular access to mindless comedy or drama or dramedy or whatever.
To all this I will say that I seem to talk to more and more people who are aware each day. I think people are waking up from the televisionic slumber and they're realizing their favorite snackfood, their precious chips contains MSG because mono sodium glutamate IS MSG, and the food manufacturer doesn't have to label it so you can understand it. They just have to label it.

Anyway, this isn't meant to be a tirade or a lecture, just a thought.

Another thought I had more recently was to add a link to my post each time I post. I'll call it:

Link of the day:
Some of these links might be educational, inspirational, or just plain thought provoking. I don't claim to know it all, and I don't think any of my links will either, but if you give them a chance they just might give you something else.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Z-cT8Qe7y3k


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Z-cT8Qe7y3k" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Day 254: It's all coming together, sort of.

Well, here we are, creeping up to another New Year's Day. I don't know about you, but New Year's Day in my head translates to: New Life Starts Today. I don't necessarily gravitate to the whole New Year's resolutions track (though I do certainly see the value in it). I do, however, for whatever reason, have this magical thinking thing going on where I just think everything will be new and different and just the way I dreamed it would/should be: I'll wake up on New Years Day and I'll be thinner, less creaky, more energetic, a better partner, my businesses will take off, Mira will become more self-sufficient without losing her need for me, I will remember to write my blog nearly every day, I will cook better and I will be an instant success at baking...
It's nice to have dreams!
Though I fully recognize that none of these things will just happen because I have to hang a new calendar, it doesn't stop my brain from taking me on a new adventure each year about two weeks prior to the holiday.

I think it is because of this that I always start minor changes in my life and start to take some sort of an "inventory" of where I am, where I want to be, where I wish I was, where I thought I would be, what kind of mother am I, am I at least sufficient in love and creativity, do I have enough skills, what if the apocalypse happens tomorrow, am I prepared if I am lucky enough to survive? Yeah, I know, but it's inevitable: my mind always wants to end things with the ending of the world as we know it.
Anyway.
So this year as I started to take inventory I realized two things simultaneously: I'm broke and I don't know how to bake.
Utilizing those two observations, I spent a bit of my limited resource and bought supplies and for the last two days have been trying my hand at creating within myself: a baker. I've always been a decent cook, but the world of baking seemed light years away. For some reason, I had this idea that because you can't really taste-test the end product well before you're there (as you can in cooking), I just thought I would be an instant failure.
Turns out: cookies ain't so tough!
Now I have something to offer the loved ones around me AND I'm facing the new year with a new skill to pursue and (nearly) perfect!
By the way: I have to admit that the only reason I even THOUGH I could take on baking is thanks mostly to Alton Brown. Thanks, Stranger!